DGS Guest Post: "The Awesome Jason "Giggles" Spezza

(Editor's Note: This post is brought to you by the lovely SensDew19 who attempted to go out and defend Jason Spezza. She's a huge friend of the blog and is great to follow for Senators news. Anyway, a huge thank you to her for writing this. Hope you guys enjoy. Again, these views are the views of Dew, not of DGS.)


You’ve all seen the goals, you’ve seen the passes (hopefully forgotten the failed drop passes) and most importantly you’ve all heard those amazing giggles. You’ve seen him get bullied by media and fans for being too relaxed. You’ve seen his own GM ignore the concept of secrecy in their end of season meeting. You’ve read the trade rumours year after year after year. But there’s only one Jason Spezza and he is NOT going anywhere anytime soon.

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re a huge DownGoesSpezza fan which means you have not yet experienced the meaning of a Jason Spezza fan. Hellp everyone, my name is SensDew19 and I am a Jason Spezza addict. Let me take you through a ride that you will not soon forget and hopefully convert you into what I have become.

Jason Spezza has always been so awesome, even as a baby he was awesome they picked him from hundreds of 1-year olds to model for a broadway show and afterall who wouldn’t pick such a gorgeous kid as their poster boy? Really now! Even you Spezza haters will agree, this kid is just so lovable! Did you know it took his Mom close to 2 hours to stop him from giggling at everything at the photo-shoot for minute maid? Did you also know that while I just made up the previous statement, it probably is true anyways?

Even at this young age, Spezza dropped things
so opponents just be sprung on breakaways

The modelling career ended at a young age because Jason Spezza is so awesome he realized he needed to do something that’s at his same level of epicness; enter hockey. Yes, he chose to play the most amazing game on earth. He then got drafted to the most amazing team in the NHL, and no that would not be the Philadephia Flyers because you are not that awesome and you drafted Jeff Woywitka. If you don’t know who that is, too bad cause neither do I. Moving on, ever since then the Ottawa Senators were forever changed. They were showered with giggles, amazing passes and turnovers from the most elite kind. They found someone to pinpoint all their problems on him, did you know that the entire global warming problem started because of Jason Spezza? With Ottawa media, accusations like that were not far. Year after year, he took the abuse and year after year he dealt with it with the only way he knows how:

GIGGLES!


Being a Jason Spezza fan isn’t easy, actually it could be the hardest hockey fan job ever, after being a Maple Laffs fan of course cause that’s just torture, but I wouldn’t want to be any other kind of fan. When speaking of Jason Spezza the following comes up: do you remember that stupid drop pass that cost us a goal? Do you remember how he sucked defensively a couple years back (cause obviously if you’re never given the chance to develop your defensive game, it’ll just magically appear)? Do you remember how he didn’t win the Stanley Cup? Do you remember how he played on the fourth line on Team Canada (yes Jonathan Toews was his linemate but it was the FOURTH LINE! OMG!)? They’ll tell you remember when Patrick Sharp started the DOWN GOES SPEZZA?! ;) See, when people ask me about Jason Spezz, that’s what I tell them. He is the guy that always has a smile on his face no matter what he’s gone through and what has been said about him. He is the guy that made Andrew Alberts and Sami Salo look like potted plants on the ice.




He’s the guy who took the hit for trade rumours year after year with stride and maintained his loyalty to this team even after the fans, media and occasionally management didn’t reciprocate that respect. He is the guy that had his wedding open to the entire world to witness and talk about, he made Ottawa part of his wedding! I remember the time when Jason Spezza knowing he is not even remotely close to the level of Dion Phaneuf’s fighting abilities, dropped the gloves to show him he won’t take it when he messes with his teammates (too bad that teammate turned out to be a complete jerk).




Lastly, when asked about Jason Spezza I tell people that he is the reason I fell in love with this team and game. He is the guy that cheers me up after a bad day and he is the guy that is far from perfect but I wouldn’t want him any other way. Sens fans, Flyers fans and hockey fans from around the league take a moment to appreciate the magic that is Jason Spezza!!

Disclaimer: This post does not do enough justice to what Jason Spezza is, for further proof of Spezza epicness please visit the following videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vos_o3fJR3g


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTOqmW7uGvk


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ae9ROAJxCI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nzijbbTnYc&feature=related (HEY, I was at that game)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbGG5huSa8E (HEY, I was at that game too! Check out the pass and Spezza reaction)

The Ballad of Scott Hartnell

The Ballad of Scott Hartnell
(Parody of “She’s Always a Woman to Me” by Billy Joel)

(Written by PhillyGirl1437) 

He could kill with his hair
He could smother with his beard
After the finals Yukon Cornelius disappeared

And he only reveals the scruff he wants you to see
He gave his hair to a child,
But he's always a Fraggle to me

He can drive you to drink
Comfort if your wife were to leave you

You can ask for a goal
But he'll often mislead you
But he'll give all he’s got, as long as you’ll see

That he skates like a drunk                   
But he’s always a Fraggle to me

Oh—he takes spills on the ice
On command if he wants
He's just that kind of guy
Oh—the brakes are always out
But he never gives in
He just multitasks from his ass

And he'll promise you more
Than the bonehead penalties
Then he'll carelessly bite you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But he'll bring out the best
That Ville and Danny can be

Blame it all on yourself
Cause he’s always a Fraggle to me

Oh—he takes spills on the ice
On command if he wants
He's just that kind of guy
Oh—the brakes are always out
But he never gives in
He just multitasks from his ass

He is frequently good
And he's suddenly bad
He can do as he pleases
He's everybody’s fool
But he can't be sent packing
He's earned his no-trade
And the most he will do
Is throw punches at you
But he’s always a Fraggle to me

Caption Contest 11

From a friend....you know what to do

In a picture, what happened to the Flyers during the game.

The 12 Days of Christmas (49 Mix)

Much thanks to @PhillyGirl1437 for emailing me this beauty of a song. It was so good that I had to share it with all of you.



On the twelfth day of Christmas, 
my true love gave to me 
Twelve rebounds flying, 
Eleven playoff decisions, 
Ten gloves a-grabbing, 
Nine years of league-bouncing, 
Eight weeks a-healing, 
Seven fists a-punching, 
Six round Hawks a-drafting
Five waiver wire trips 
Four Phantoms games
Three Shutout Habs
Two years $3.1 million
And a Pat Kane shot between my knees

DGS Expansion

Dear DGS Readers,

DGS is looking to expand its presence on the internet. What we need to do this is more bloggers. Right now, the DGS team is just Matt and Amy and that works out rather nice. If you're interested in writing about the Flyers email the below application to Down Goes Spezza. The only requirements are being a fan of the Flyers and having a sarcastic side that's willing to poke fun at both the Flyers.


Name:
Location: City, State (or Province) and Country will suffice
Write your own sample DGS post: Use our Sunday Brunch topics as the prompt.

Please send emails by December 12, 2010. We will decide by December 20 at the latest.

The Curious Case of Ilya Kovalchuk

Editor's Note: This post is written by Amy, NOT DGS.




Ilya Kovalchuk, where will he end up. Well, the DGS SuperSpies have tried to find out, and they have some interesting ideas, as well as what this means for Flyers fans. So with the help of me, the Amazing Amy, DGS made a list of 10 possible destinations and what Flyers fans should think of them.



Team: NJ Devils
Odds: 4:1
Reasons to Go: Will be backed by a Hall of Fame caliber goalie and a great Defensive system
Reasons to Not Go: The Devils aren't exactly known for opening the bank for offensive talents
Meaning to Flyers: If he's in NJ, we're fucked.


Team: Toronto Maple Leafs
Odds: 10:1
Reasons to Go: Kovy and Kessel on the top 2 lines, it's bound to work, right?
Reasons to Not Go: Does Toronto have a D that can allow Kovy a chance to win
Meaning to Flyers: Only facing Kovy 4 times a year instead of 6 is a bonus, but I'd fear Kovy in the playoffs


Team: Boston Bruins
Odds: 500:1
Reasons to Go: Kovy/Hall/Savard top line, that's amazing
Reasons to Not Go: Will be traded to Toronto for a decade's worth of first rounders and Luke Schenn
Meaning to Flyers: Kovy in Boston=Bruins as favourites for the Cup in 2011


Team: Washington Capitals
Odds: 25:1
Reasons to Go: An all Russian top line of Ovy-Semin-Kovy sounds nice
Reasons to Not Go: Mike Green would then be the Caps top D-man causing every game to be decided by a score of 9-8
Meaning to Flyers: Really isn't one until the playoffs roll around...


Team: Edmonton Oilers
Odds: 100,000:1
Reasons to Go: I heard Edmonton feels like Russia in winter.
Reasons to Not Go: I heard Edmonton feels like Russia in winter
Meaning to Flyers: It's second best option.


Team: San Jose Sharks
Odds: 85:1
Reasons to Go: "Thornton to Kovalchuk...SHARKS SCORE" would guarantee another San Jose President's Trophy
Reasons to Not Go: Cap issues, lack of playoff success, risk of having to get a ride with Dany Heatley all come to mind
Meaning to Flyers: Again, it's nice to have Kovy out of the east...but I sure wouldn't mind having Kovy on another continent.


Team: Montreal Canadiens
Odds: 100:1
Reasons to Go: A skilled sniper would give the Habs a legit scoring threat
Reasons to Not Go: Other Habs players may be afraid of a giant 6'2" 230lb Russian
Meaning to Flyers: When Habs fans riot after wins against Toronto, the Flyers may have to give up their reputation as the "most brutish fans in hockey, or sport for that matter"


Team: Chicago Black Hawks
Odds: 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000:1
Reasons to Go: After the Hawks implode this team in order to gain cap space, they could restock with Kovy-Toews-Kane as their top line
Reasons to Not Go: Kovy would then need to work for free.
Meaning to Flyers: Hey, at least it keeps him OUT of the Eastern Conference...


Team: Philadelphia Flyers
Odds: 150,000:1
Reasons to Go: Great chance to win a cup
Reasons to Not Go: Flyers already have 8 top-6 caliber forwards
Meaning to Flyers: He becomes our weapon on offense, at the expense of having a goalie next year, seriously, Kovy=Boucher/Backlund in net


Team: Anyone in the KHL
Odds: 3:1
Reasons to Go: $14 million and a chance to be close to home why NOT take it.
Reasons to Not Go: I heard it's cold in Russia...
Meaning to Flyers: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN!!!!


Hope you guys like it.


-Amy

Welcoming a Guest Poster

Hey DGS readers,

Just a quick note, for the next couple weeks, and possibly longer if this catches on, DGS will be written by a close friend of the real DGS, see I've taken ill and I have not had the energy to come up with anything clever regarding this huge NHL issue, so in order to get the word out on it, I'm having my friend Amy take over this post. Enjoy it, or hate it, you, the DGS readers determine Amy's fate as a poster on this blog.

-DGS