Previewing the Second Round Matchups

Just like we did for the first round, it's time to preview the other playoff series that don't involve the Flyers. So here we go.

-Western Conference-

#5 Nashville vs #1 Vancouver

How They Got Here: Nashville shot and killed a Duck, Vancouver tossed a Monkey off their back.
What to look for: Will Shea Weber's beard destroy Roberto Luongo?
Who moves on: The Predators


#2 San Jose vs #3 Detroit

How They Got Here: San Jose committed regicide, the Red Wings put some whiteout on the Coyotes

What to look for: Will Joe Thornton realize it's May BEFORE senility sets in on the Red Wings?

Who moves on: Kyle Wellwood disposes of the octopus by making calamari and eating: Sharks move on again.

-Eastern Conference-

#1 Washington vs #5 Tampa Bay

How They Got Here: Washington defeated the Rangers, TBL eliminated the PenGOONs

What to look for: How many of DTV's ideas come true?

Who moves on: Gotta say WSH because TBL will pay for the injustice of keeping Crosby out of the NHL for 9 months?

The Flyers preview will come Saturday

NHL Dictionary: Verbs

Something that was recently brought to my attention was the fact that I tend to use certain NHL names as verbs. As a public service to all DGS readers I figured I would compile the list here for all to see.


To Pronger: Using elbows to improve your situation or the situation of a friend.

In a sentence: I Prongered my way through the crowd to get to the front of the line.



To Timonen: to enter a situation knowing that you will come out hurt...and doing it anyway for the greater good

In a Sentence: I Timonened my way out of the mall, carrying all the stuff my mom bought, knowing that the broken back would impress the ladies.



To Giroux: To dazzle someone with something so beautiful and perfect that they have an orgasm

In a sentence: Yeah, my deke on the penalty shot totally Girouxed the puck bunnies.



To Leighton: Screw up something easy because you can't get something closed fast enough

In a sentence: I Leightoned the presentation as work because I kept on talking.



To Sundin: Be unable to make a simple decision because you're afraid of commitment

In a sentence: When I asked my girlfriend to marry me, she decided to Sundin instead of saying Yes or No


To Kaberstay: Stick around at a place even though you aren't wanted because everyone hates you.

In a sentence: Kyle Wellwood Kaberstayed around the buffet waiting for it to be refilled even though no one else was able to eat.


To Pierre-McGuire: Not shut up and only get louder as people want you to stop talking

In a Sentence: Many people in the world hate that Down Goes Spezza, Pierre-McGuire's when talking about the amazing, divine elbows of Christopher Robert Pronger.

Now you know.

Away At a Buffet (Kyle Wellwood's Away in a Manger)

You know, we always wondered what a Wellwood Christmas was like, and thanks to Eric Wellwood for telling us what brother Kyle sings at Christmast.

Away at a buffet
It's all you can eat
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood, has taken his plate
His mouth starts to water as he walks down the line
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood, is ready to dine

Away at a buffet
No bib for his chins
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood, sits down in his seat
The fork in his hand moves up to his mouth
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood, has begun to eat

Away at a buffet
It's time for seconds
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood, walks over again
The time slowly passes as he refills his plate
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood's hunger can't wait

Home now from the buffet
It's time for dessert
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood, feels his belly hurt
The cake digests slowly as he eats some more
Our fatty, Kyle Wellwood, a fat burger whore

Power Outage: Reasons the Flyers PP Has Dried Up

It's almost finals week so I'm kinda dead, but that being said, the DGS investigators found us some reasons why the Flyers Powerplay has been powered down.

• When told to mimic dynamic scorers and smooth skaters, they chose Ilya Kovalchuk and Phil Kessell
  
  
• It was eaten by Kyle Wellwood
  
  
• Forwards are too afraid to screen the goalie because of the "Avery Rule"
  
  
• Started feeling bad for embarrassing teams with so many games where they score more than 5 as a team.
  
• Misunderstood Power Play strategy for "Joe Thornton Playoff Strategy"
  
• Wanted to be just like me in NHL 11 on the PP. (No seriously, it's sad)
  
• Didn't realize that scoring while up a man is NOT an example of poor sportsmanship
  
• Sent the PP skill in search of Paul Ranger
  
• Maybe missing a certain forward who found a new home in Tampa...just sayin

Things People Involved in the NHL are Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving to my loyal American DGS readers. Speaking of it being Thanksgiving, it's the time of the year to be thankful, for something like hockey and the Flyers being in first place. Because of this, we sent out some texts to some NHL players to ask them what they're thankful for. The responses we got were rather enlightening.


Kyle Wellwood: "Butter, stuffing, French fries and trans-fats."

PK Subban: "Mike Richards didn't kill me, that's the nicest thing someone's done for me since my car got burned during a riot last spring"

Sheldon Souray: "I get to play in Hershey instead of Edmonton; mission accomplished"

Sidney Crosby: "No matter how much I dive, Bettman still loves me"

Patrick Kane: "Thbt Suttere kidd who pnchrd cabbie driverz"
(I wasn't sure what he was ok so I texted him back to ask 'Dude are you ok?')
Kane's response: "Yes, jus haad somme tequila"

Dammit Kane, stay sober for like...a day..seriously

Dan Ellis: "My money"

David Booth: "Mike Richards didn't kill me, I owe him one."

Peter Chiarelli: "Making the playoffs and getting a lottery pick 2 years in a row"

Colin Campbell: (Editor's Note: Colie didn't respond, apparently he doesn't know to use a Blackberry)

Brian Burke: "No one pretends to be me on Twitter anymore."

Glen Sather: "The Rangers ownership, for keeping me employed"

Derek Boogaard: "My goal scoring abilities"

Ilya Kovachuk: "Being able to play in NHL for 9 more years even tho Bett-man think I play 15 more"

Crazy Lou: "Jelly"

Joe Thornton: "The Heimlich maneuver, saving my life every year after I seem to choke every May"

Antti Niemi: "Leighton not closing 5 hole, made me cup winning goalie"

Sean Avery: "The ability to give others my sloppy seconds"

Henrik Sedin: "Daniel Sedin"

Daniel Sedin: "Henrik Sedin"

Coach Sutter: "Having a brother as GM so i dont get fired"

Brad Richards: "Knowing that I have at most, 7 months and 6 days in Dallas"

Andrew Raycroft: "A job in the AHL for the Texas Stars that keeps me from playing in Russia"
My response: "Uh Andrew, you play for the NHL's Dallas Stars"
Andrew Raycroft: "LOL there is NO way this is an 'NHL' team, it's defence is like ECHL quality"

Brian Gionta: "No one's burned my house down even tho I'm an American who's captain of the Habs"

Scott Gomez: "the lack of a height requirement to play in the NHL"

Jason Spezza: "Not having been destroyed by Patrick Sharp since 2004"

Gary Bettman: "Being a league that's so unnoticed, no one did anything about Colin Campbell...those MLB guys always dragged in front of Congress; that sucks for them"

iPods of the NHL

Sometimes we here at DGS just run into things by accident. And these accidents cause us to send out the DGS SuperSpies on special investigations to find out the truth. In todays case, a DGS writer was chatting with a friend about music and we got curious, what do different NHL players listen to while on the road and all. Well guess what, we sent the DGS superspies all around the NHL and they grabbed a few iPods of NHL players and got a look at some of their "Top Played" songs. Needless to say, the results were shocking.

• Weird Al was a hit among quite a few current and former NHL players. Martin Brodeur, Tim Thomas and Kyle Wellwood all had "I'm Fat" as their top played tune.
• A Mr. Sutter, GM of the Flames, had Thin Lizzy's "The Boys Are Back In Town" as his most listened to song. I wonder if this explains his recent moves.
• Rick DiPietro's top played tune was "Broken" by Seether w. Amy Lee (A close second was Dry Cell's "Body Crumbles"
• Foreigner's "Double Vision" was the top played song on Simon Gagne's iPod, it beat out U2's "Vertigo" by one play.
• Speaking of Lightning players, we found Paul Ranger's iPod, the top 5 songs on it where:
  1. The Moody Blues's I Know You're Out There Somewhere"
  2. U2 "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
  3. Evanescence's "Missing"
  4. Our Lady Peace's "Somewhere Out There"
  5. Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here"
• Jeff Carter's iPod only had one song on it. "Scotty Doesn't Know" By Lustra
• Sami Salo's top played song came from Italian metal band Lacuna Coil "Fragile" he also had the entire soundtrack to the Nutcracker ballet as well.
• Brian Burke has a list of songs that are required listening for every new Maple Leafs player
  1. Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode
  2. Empty Spaces by Pink Floyd
  3. This Is Not The End by The Bravery
• Mike van Ryn's favorite song is apparently "Through Glass"
• Patrick Kane's top tune is by the Killers and it's called "Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf"
• Alex Burrows is a bit "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath
• And last but not least, "Money" by Pink Floyd is Dan Ellis's top played song.
  

If this gets really popular, expect a part 2 where I do this again with different players.

Ilya Kovalchuk comes clean about why he got scratched.

So tonight, the world was shocked when Ilya Kovalchuk was scratched by the Devils for last night's game. Luckily the DGS-SuperSpies were able to get a hold of Ilya after the game and ask him what was going on. With that, we have Ilya's reasons for why he got scratched, straight from his mouth.

(Editor's note: We were gonna run another psych profile today, but DGS had to go hurt his knee during a pickup hockey game)

• Needed time to be schooled in the idea of playing defensively on the ice
• Has a little known "reverse Escrow clause" in his contract, he gets paid 100% of his contract but will miss 18% of games over the 15 years.
• Needed to visit his shrink to talk about the depression of spending 15 years in NJ.
• Just realized that he agreed to spend 15 years in NJ
• Threw a hissy fit because Martin Brodeur ate his pregame meal
• Told the coaching staff he wanted a "nap time" clause during games in the manner of Ondrej Pavelec
• Had to fulfill his role as a Russian Spy.
• Wanted to fly back to Russia to have his family from famine caused by Kyle Wellwood playing in the KHL.
• Didn't see the need to dress as Buffalo lacks enforcers. (Stick tap to Kevin S. of In Lou We Trust)

Hockey versus Nerd Memes

So the other day I nearly got myself sued by Down Goes Brown wrote a post on Hockey Versus Baseball and it was actually quiet popular. That got me thinking, what else do I like, and the answer is video games and nerdyness. So I decided to compare my love of video games, to the greatest game ever made, hockey. My results were interesting.

The Meme: You Just Lost The Game

Patrik Stefan would hold this sign when shooting at
empty nets against the Edmonton Oilers

Nerd's Definition: 

1. Everyone in the world is playing The Game. (Sometimes narrowed to: "Everybody in the world who knows about The Game is playing The Game",  or alternatively, "You are always playing The Game.") You cannot not play The Game; it does not require consent to play and you can never stop playing.
2. Whenever one thinks about The Game, one loses.
3. Losses must be announced to at least one person (either by using a statement such as "I Lost The Game" or by alternative means). 

(Source: Wikipedia)

Hockey Definition: "You just lost the game" was the phrase most heard by Marty Turco during the 2009-10 season when opponents would see what kind of defense was in front of him. (YES I AM LAYING OFF TOSKALA AND THE MAPLE LEAFS FOR A CHANGE!)

The Meme: LEEROY JENKINS!!!

Nerd's Definition: Example of World of Warcraft strategy gone horribly wrong.

Hockey Definition: What Matt Carkner yells before running up to fight Colton Orr.

The Meme: All Your Base Are Belong To Us








Nerd's Definition: A horribly translated version of Zero Wing.


Hockey Definition: Translating the broken English to normal English is how Eric Lindros's nurses are taught to understand what Eric wants since his brains are more scrambled than the eggs I had for breakfast this morning. 









The Meme: The Russian Reversal

Nerd's Definition: The evil strategy the bloody Commies use to win every single argument.


Hockey Definition: The phenomena by which Alex Semin and Ilya Kovalchuk go from being a 90+pt players during the regular season to Thornton level in the postseason.

In Soviet Russia, post-season play YOU!!!!

The Meme: The Cake is a Lie

Nerd's Definition: A reference to the game of Portal, this refers to the fact that you are promised delicious cake for beating the game, only to find out the promiser of cake is a homicidal robot that is out to kill you. Then this song plays.

Hockey Definition: Kyle Wellwood's worst nightmare.






Oh damn, didn't Bloge Salming already do this...sort of...kinda


He did:

Crap

NHL 2010-2011 Season Preview: General NHL Stuff

Hey everyone. Just so you know starting tomorrow (September 2) and going every other day through September 12, I will be posting the Official DGS 2010-2011 Season Previews, we will be doing one division a day. At the end of this all, I'll post a recap that has links to all 6 posts and lists all 30 teams on one page (That will go up September 13).

In order to whet your appetite for the upcoming posts of awesomeness, I have a list of generalized NHL predictions here for you to see.

• Kerry Fraser may be retired, but the NHL has hired a new referee who is legally blind in order to prove that the disabled can have successful careers.
• Gary Bettman is still stupid. (I call this, "playing it safe")
• Stephane Auger will screw with all of us by calling a game perfectly down the middle.
• Kyle Wellwood will eat his way onto a team.
• Antti Niemi will remain unemployed until he gives up his contract demand of "not having another NHL caliber goaltender on the roster" is met.
• Rick DiPietro will end up on LTIR. (Playing it safe again am I)
• Pierre McGuire will move to Massachusetts and marry his 'Monster' Zdeno Chara
• Once Edmonton has its first cold snap in December, Taylor Hall will demand a trade out of Edmonton
• Joe Thornton will lead the Sharks with clutch play during the regular season and post-season before finally giving out during the Finals and saying "What, you think I changed at all"
• The Phoenix Coyotes will find their way back to Winnipeg

Sunday Brunch: A Discussion of Hilariously Hypothetical Things Related to the NHL, part 4

Good morning DGS Readers. Once again, it's Sunday, and we're serving brunch at DGS. What's that mean? It means that we have a question that we want answered in the funniest way possible. Who's gonna answer it? YOU ARE! the DGS readers! we love hearing from you.

So anyway, here we go.

Kyle Wellwood, Tim Thomas and Martin Brodeur walk into a restaurant that may or may not be an "all you can buffet" the reason why it's that way, the restaurant is owned by Stephane Auger and we all know what happens when he's in charge of something. Needless to say, how does this go down? (besides in a greasy, fattening mess of fried chicken)

Stolen Posts: How the world beat DGS to ideas recently

Just a couple days ago, the blogging idol of DGS, Mr. Down Goes Brown, posted a comparison between NHL and NBA Free Agency and DGS was sad, because we had the same idea for a post in mind. DGB suggested that we pre-date the post and then accuse him of plagiarism but we decided against it. Instead, we decided to share our thoughts on the idea of tampering in NHL.

Thanks to @NonAmericanHero on Twitter for telling us that the CBA has no rules of tampering, so because of that DGS sent the DGS SuperSpies into the world to find out, what is tampering in the NHL. The results, they were odd, but enlightening to say the least.

Some NHL Examples of Tampering.

• Brian Burke of the Toronto Maple Leafs takes a trip to Sweden for a "vacation" only to end up accidentally recruiting the Sedins.
• Marian Hossa tampers with the Red Wings chances of repeating as Stanley Cup champions by signing with them after the 2008 season
• Flyers GMs since 1997 have tampered with the teams chances of winning a Stanley Cup by never signing a competent goaltender, (Remind me again why were paying Big Mesz $4 million and Nabby walked to the KHL?)
• Alexei Yashin tampered with the Islanders books by penciling his name on them until 2020
• Someone tampered with Rick DiPietro's health sending him for MRI's every year, (this just in...Rick has a minimum 5 MRIs per week clause in his contract)
• Chicago Blackhawks ownership tampered with the whole NHL by secretly moving the team to Atlanta after winning the 2010 Stanley Cup
• Kyle Wellwood tampered with the last scale he was on, making it say 181lbs as his weight.
• An unknown person or persons tampered with Ilya Kovalchuk's calendar causing him to not realize that in fact, he legally can sign an NHL contract.
• Rick Tocchet tampered with the Lightning's chances to win by hating on a guy named Vinny. (Thanks DTV)
• Someone tampers with Joe Thornton's mind every time the playoffs role around
• Keith Ballard likes to tamper with the skull of his team's goaltender
• Pierre McGuire will tamper with your belt and pants every time he interviews you.
• Every NHL player attempts to tamper with the Edmonton Oilers by demanding a trade out of Edmonton.
• Rangers GM Glen Sather tampered with Habs by convincing them to take on the Scott Gomez contract.
• Chris Pronger uses his elbows to tamper with opponent's skulls.
  

[Note: Eklund claims these ideas are all 100% DGS Originals (e4)]

Get to know a Prospect: Eric Wellwood

Yes, I know, I tweeted that today's new post would be about the DGS Staff but it turns out, we decided that an in depth investigation into a Flyers prospect would be in order, see, with the Flyers prospect camp this week, we are getting to see guys who will be the Flyers of the future, and like any "respectable and responsible journalists". We thought it best to, shed some light on Eric Wellwood, specifically, translating an interview he did recently from Wellwoodese into English.

The whole article can be found here:


Eric says: "My game is all speed and shooting, dumping it in the corners and going to get it myself. He is more finesse, more laid-back. I think maybe people are starting to realize that our game doesn't have as much in common as one might think."

Eric means: "I'm not an overweight fat bastard who avoids contact with anything other than a buffet table, oh yeah, and I actually try to put the puck in the net"


What Was Said: Wellwood is relying on his brother for conditioning tips. He has a leg up on his competition as he already knows what challenges lie ahead

What Was Meant: Eric is not making the mistakes that Kyle did, for example Eric does NOT stop at every Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts to compare tastes of frosting. Also, Eric realizes that "deep fried" anything is a bad thing for meals. Eric also knows to stick to a conditioning plan, to avoid ending up fat.



Well, that's all we got for now, here's to hoping Kyle doesn't eat Eric on Christmas....

Other things Chris Pronger has Stolen

At the end of Games 1, 2 and 4, Chris Pronger walked off with the game pucks from the ice. He supposedly tossed 2 of them in the garbage. What many people don't realize is that Chris Pronger actually has had a habit of stealing things for a long time. In fact, we here at Down Goes Spezza scored the list of items Chris Pronger has stolen, credit the primary assist to Don't Trade Vinny for this one.

• Dustin Byfuglien: Pronger stole him from the Blackhawks bench before Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals and sent him one way to an undisclosed location. The Hawks deny anything is missing, but an analysis of the player who wears Hawks #33 in the series shows that Byfuglien is nowhere to be found.
• Marian Hossa's luck: Pronger stole this from Hossa in the summer of 2007 while on vacation with the cup, when asked why he did this, Pronger replied, "I didn't know there's a rule against that. Show me that in the rulebook."
• Kyle Wellwood's Diet Planner: Pronger was bored one day during a trip to Toronto and noticed that Wellwood had left his diet planner out, Pronger decided as a prank to swipe it, and replace it with another Diet Planner that contained meal ideas such as, "Twinkies with melted butter sauce" and "Fried Chicken and Bacon"
• Alexandre Daigle's Spotlight: During the 1993 NHL Entry Draft, Daigle was taken first, and Pronger second, Pronger was so angry that he stole the spotlight from Daigle by actually being a good NHL player.
• Joe Thornton's ability to swallow: When playing in the Western Conference, Pronger stared angrily at Jumbo Joe for minutes on end, since then Thornton has routinely choked every postseason because he remembers Pronger's words.
• Jonas Gustavsson's Heart: During a preseason game against the Maple Leafs, Pronger reached into the chest of Gustavsson and removed his heart in order to replace the one that Pronger lost when he was hit in the chest by a Boris Mironov slapshot, because of this, Gustavsson's heart has routinely exploded during the season. Lee Stempniak was supposedly the only person to see how Pronger did it, however, no witnesses can actually place Stempniak anywhere the Maple Leafs during the time of the crime. Oddly Stempniak turned up in Arizona in March 2010, but has been afraid to say what he saw.
  
• Tomas Kopecky's Helmet Padding: See Don't Trade Vinny's caption to my previous post.
• Ville Leino: Apparently Pronger was the secret behind Paul Holmgren's absolute steal of Leino from the Detroit Red Wings, Pronger called up Ken Holland and threatened to elbow every Red Wings player in the face and cross check Jimmy Howard into another dimension during the Wings April visit to Philly if Holland didn't agree to send Leino to Philly for Ole-Kristian Tollefsen.
• Happiness in Boston: Pronger convinced the Flyers to spot the Bruins a 3-0 lead in the series just to screw with Boston, but then, in a realm of douchebaggery and thievery that set a new bar even for Pronger, he then convinced the Flyers to spot the Bruins a 3-0 first period lead in game 7 only to come back and destroy the Bruins dreams by winning 4-3.
• Dean McCammond's brain: In order to protect his own brain from Chris Chelios, Pronger removed McCammond's brain and sent it to Chelios to appease him.
• Joffrey Lupul's Security of a Steady Home: Pronger as a joke likes to keep Lupul on his toes by occasionally making Lupul move back west. Luckily for Lupul, the first move was the cruelest and Pronger sent him to Edmonton.
• The hair clippers of Scott Hartnell's barber: Seriously, how else would Hartnell look like that?
• Dan Carcillo's Dignity: Pronger told him that the 'Stache looks good.
• Profits from the Construction Industry in Montreal: Pronger slowed down the need for construction in Montreal, Quebec by ending the Habs playoff run in 2010.
• Armando Galaragga's Perfect Game: Pronger grew a beard, ran to Detroit to umpire a game between the Indians and the Tigers, then decided to steal perfection away from Galaragga by calling Jason Donald safe. Now we know why Pronger doesn't have a beard.
  

Peter Laviolette's Pregame Speech for Game 4

In order to make sure that the Flyers stayed motivated and were prepared for Game 4. Coach Lavi sat the team down in the lockerroom before the morning skate and delivered an important message. Lavi has a way with words, just look at what his timeout during game 7 against Boston did. Anyway, unbeknown to the Flyers, the DGS SuperSpies were hiding in the Flyers lockerroom during this speech and they got it all on tape. So without further ado, here's the video of what went down this morning:

Other Michael Leighton Accomplishments, warning NSFW

Wow! Just wow! No, seriously WOW!!!!

Who is this guy? Who is Michael Leighton?

Do you know who Michael Leighton is?

The insane minds of DGS do, and we are going to share important Michael Leighton exploits with you.




1. Michael Leighton counted to infinity, twice

2. Michael Leighton does not check his closet for monsters, monsters check their closets for Michael Leighton

3. Only the good Lord, and possibly Bernie Parent, can save more than Michael Leighton

4. Michael Leighton can touch MC Hammer.

5. Michael Leighton does NOT stop pucks, he just scares them into not crossing the goal line.

6. Michael Leighton's icy blue eyes are in fact made of ice.

7. When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk, when the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris, when Chuck Norris gets angry, he turns into Michael Leighton

8. Michael Leighton wins staring contests with statues.

9. Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to slept with 10,000 in his lifetime, Michael Leighton calls this a Tuesday morning coffee break.

10. Michael Leighton can make Kyle Wellwood lose weight, he just hasn't tried.

11. Michael Leighton's tears cure cancer, sadly, Michael Leighton has never cried.

12. There is no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures that Michael Leighton allows to live.

13. What is 2+2? Answer: Michael Leighton

14. Michael Leighton knows where both Pi and E end.
[Note: He tried to tell us, but Kyle Wellwood ate the paper with the proof...something about wanting more pie...]

15. Michael Leighton can divide by zero.

16. Michael Leighton smells what the Rock is cooking.

17. Michael Leighton wouldn't trade Vinny.

18. Michael Leighton is the guy who actually knocked out Brown and Spezza.

19. Michael Leighton will change the questions when you think you know the answers.

20. Michael Leighton can "get" Stephane Auger.

Consolation Prizes for Teams Eliminated in the First Round

So with Round 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs having begun, many people wonder what the teams who were eliminated are up to. Well, guess what, we here at Down Goes Spezza know what's going on.

For instance some players/teams/coaches have big plans for the offseason. So, for your benefit, here are the big offseason plans of those eliminated in the first round.




Chris Durno: Now can find a way to end up on the Maple Leafs so Down Goes Brown’s Durno dreams can be complete.

Phoenix Coyotes: Are now free to decide where they should move to.

Ilya Kovalchuk: Has plenty of time to mull over the cost/benefit analysis of playing in the KHL

Martin Brodeur: Might actually have time to engage in an offseason conditioning plan, this is helped by the fact that Kyle Wellwood is still playing and therefore Brodeur doesn't have a bueffet buddy. Wait, that means Brodeur is alone in the all you can eat line...

Ottawa Senators: Have plenty of time to keep an eye out for coaches in need of a job for the invariable firing of Cory Clouston 3 weeks into next season, to help them, both John Stevens and Rick Tocchet are available. In related news, whichever guy doesn’t get hired can be the coach 10 weeks into next season when the Senators change coaches again.

Jose Theodore/Peter Budaj: Can be well rested for next year when one becomes the next Flyers starting goalie. By the way guys, the position is cursed, injuries happen.

Mike Green: Lots of time to possibly learn how to play defense, or if that fails, can fall back into acting career.

Alex Ovechkin: Can use the free time to continue to work on his tryout for the Washington Nationals

Alexander Semin: Maybe can actually do something so this way I can make fun of him

Brooks Laich: Can open up a successful tire changing business

Yann Danis: Wait a minute, I think he’s still glued to the bench, has someone told him the season’s over yet?

Washington Capitals Fans: Can hide the biggest weakness of themselves, the fact that they don’t actually know anything about hockey.

Flyers 4 Devils 1,

Game 4 has gone final...

Flyers 4, Devils 1

Flyers lead series 3-1

Well, in short, after an early game PK issue, the Flyers finally got on track and dominated the Devils to take a commanding 3 games to 1 lead in the best of 7 series. For any fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs who may be reading this blog, I will pause now so you can look up what "playoffs" are.

What we learned:

Ilya Kovalchuk doesn't fit in the Devils system.

Seriously, even when he scores, he doesn't seem like he is helping his team. Kovi doesn't seem like a team player, and in a system that stresses discipline like the Devils, he doesn't fit.

Martin Brodeur isn't that good anymore.

I've been saying this for years. Brodeur was made by the D in front of him. Is he one of the top 5 of all the time, maybe, top 10, surely. But right now, in 2010, Brodeur is nothing special. As my blogging idol Mr. Down Goes Brown would put it, Brodeur might be as fat as Kyle Wellwood.
Don't believe me, you should.

The Flyers are finally playing to their potential.

The Flyers are playing like the team they were hyped to be back in September. And they're doing in front of Brian Boucher. Jeff Carter finally came out of his scoring funk and Dan Carcillo continued to wreck the Devils with his scoring touch. Yeah, I'm on the Carcillo bandwagon now, and I missed Upshall for a while after his trade.

Peter Laviolette knows how to use a timeout

He drew up the play that led to the goal that put the game out of reach. The Devils are in trouble, and all the pressure is on them. Now Lavi needs to keep outcoaching
the Devils so the Flyers can wrap this up on Thursday.