Hockey versus Nerd Memes

So the other day I nearly got myself sued by Down Goes Brown wrote a post on Hockey Versus Baseball and it was actually quiet popular. That got me thinking, what else do I like, and the answer is video games and nerdyness. So I decided to compare my love of video games, to the greatest game ever made, hockey. My results were interesting.

The Meme: You Just Lost The Game

Patrik Stefan would hold this sign when shooting at
empty nets against the Edmonton Oilers

Nerd's Definition: 

1. Everyone in the world is playing The Game. (Sometimes narrowed to: "Everybody in the world who knows about The Game is playing The Game",  or alternatively, "You are always playing The Game.") You cannot not play The Game; it does not require consent to play and you can never stop playing.
2. Whenever one thinks about The Game, one loses.
3. Losses must be announced to at least one person (either by using a statement such as "I Lost The Game" or by alternative means). 

(Source: Wikipedia)

Hockey Definition: "You just lost the game" was the phrase most heard by Marty Turco during the 2009-10 season when opponents would see what kind of defense was in front of him. (YES I AM LAYING OFF TOSKALA AND THE MAPLE LEAFS FOR A CHANGE!)

The Meme: LEEROY JENKINS!!!

Nerd's Definition: Example of World of Warcraft strategy gone horribly wrong.

Hockey Definition: What Matt Carkner yells before running up to fight Colton Orr.

The Meme: All Your Base Are Belong To Us








Nerd's Definition: A horribly translated version of Zero Wing.


Hockey Definition: Translating the broken English to normal English is how Eric Lindros's nurses are taught to understand what Eric wants since his brains are more scrambled than the eggs I had for breakfast this morning. 









The Meme: The Russian Reversal

Nerd's Definition: The evil strategy the bloody Commies use to win every single argument.


Hockey Definition: The phenomena by which Alex Semin and Ilya Kovalchuk go from being a 90+pt players during the regular season to Thornton level in the postseason.

In Soviet Russia, post-season play YOU!!!!

The Meme: The Cake is a Lie

Nerd's Definition: A reference to the game of Portal, this refers to the fact that you are promised delicious cake for beating the game, only to find out the promiser of cake is a homicidal robot that is out to kill you. Then this song plays.

Hockey Definition: Kyle Wellwood's worst nightmare.






Oh damn, didn't Bloge Salming already do this...sort of...kinda


He did:

Crap

Flyers Strategies for Winning Game 3

As we have seen, the Flyers dropped 2 out in the Windy City to fall into a 2-0 situation. However, in order to come back, the Flyers have devised a slightly devious strategy for coming back. Just like the Boston series, the Flyers have a few tricks up their sleeves, and we here at DGS know just what they are. So, loyal readers, here is your list of Flyers strategies for Game 3.

• Dan Carcillo will now only hit members of the Blackhawks.
• Flyers goaltenders finally were told that Patrick Sharp and Ben Eager no longer play on their team, also Mike Leighton finally was informed that he doesn't play for the Blackhawks anymore.
• Will confuse Chicago scorers by having every goalie that dressed this season suited up and on the ice during pregame warmups.
  
• Chris Pronger will confuse the Hawks by bringing the extra pucks onto the ice.
• When getting his ride to the game, local Cab Drivers have been instructed to not give correct change to Patrick Kane
• The team will remind Marian Hossa that he is in fact, still Marian Hossa
• Super secret agents kidnapped opposing Finnish goaltender Antti Niemi and replaced him with another famous Finnish goaltender, Vesa Toskala. (DGS Note: This also happened during the Game 7 Timeout in Boston).
• Since we have hockey in June, the Flyers, stealing a Habs idea, will put sand in the tunnel from the Hawks bench to the locker room to remind them that it's almost beach front vacation time.
• Ruined Duncan Keith's morale by saying "hey, I'm real happy for you and all, and Imma let you finish but I just want you to know that Lappy came back from the best injury ever, best injury ever"

Stanley Cup Finals Preview: Flyers and Blackhawks

With the Finals approaching, and my Flyers still alive in the hunt for a chance to hoist delicious cake, I mean the Stanley Cup. In a slight change of pace, we will only discuss the pros and cons of each team separately rather than in point/counterpoint format. Why am I changing the rules, because the NHL will probably change rules as well to screw the Flyers this series. Fuck you, Bettman.

Flyers

Pro: Have 2 goalies each with 6 wins this postseason and have the best GAA and Save % out there.

Pro: Did not sign Marion Hossa this offseason

Pro: Made the best trade of the year sending Ole Kristian Tollefsen to the Red Wings for Ville Leino. Read that again, a part time, injury prone 8th D-man for a near point per playoff game dynamic dangling top 6 left winger,

Pro: Oh bloody hell, just read the 7 signs that the Flyers will win the cup this year .


Con: Have limited experience in winning.

Con: May be burned out from upsetting too many favorites

Con: May be out of perfectly timed time outs.


Blackhawks

Pro: Have dynamic forwards Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Dustin Byfuglien and Patrick Sharp who are capable of scoring a big goal when needed.

Pro: Goalie Annti Niemi can swallow up any puck in his crease. [Warning: Puck may never be seen again]

Pro: Have a great D-Corp with guys like Seabrook, Keith, and Campbell

Con: Have a contract that puts Marion Hossa on the ice for them

Con: Campbell lacks a collarbone, Keith has no teeth

Con: Niemi's a rookie, and rookie goalies don't win

Con: They're out Pizza Crawling

Con: Patrick Kane's in such epic shape...NOT!




Analysis: Flyers in 6, and that's the bottom line, cuz DGS said so!

Other Michael Leighton Accomplishments, warning NSFW

Wow! Just wow! No, seriously WOW!!!!

Who is this guy? Who is Michael Leighton?

Do you know who Michael Leighton is?

The insane minds of DGS do, and we are going to share important Michael Leighton exploits with you.




1. Michael Leighton counted to infinity, twice

2. Michael Leighton does not check his closet for monsters, monsters check their closets for Michael Leighton

3. Only the good Lord, and possibly Bernie Parent, can save more than Michael Leighton

4. Michael Leighton can touch MC Hammer.

5. Michael Leighton does NOT stop pucks, he just scares them into not crossing the goal line.

6. Michael Leighton's icy blue eyes are in fact made of ice.

7. When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk, when the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris, when Chuck Norris gets angry, he turns into Michael Leighton

8. Michael Leighton wins staring contests with statues.

9. Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to slept with 10,000 in his lifetime, Michael Leighton calls this a Tuesday morning coffee break.

10. Michael Leighton can make Kyle Wellwood lose weight, he just hasn't tried.

11. Michael Leighton's tears cure cancer, sadly, Michael Leighton has never cried.

12. There is no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures that Michael Leighton allows to live.

13. What is 2+2? Answer: Michael Leighton

14. Michael Leighton knows where both Pi and E end.
[Note: He tried to tell us, but Kyle Wellwood ate the paper with the proof...something about wanting more pie...]

15. Michael Leighton can divide by zero.

16. Michael Leighton smells what the Rock is cooking.

17. Michael Leighton wouldn't trade Vinny.

18. Michael Leighton is the guy who actually knocked out Brown and Spezza.

19. Michael Leighton will change the questions when you think you know the answers.

20. Michael Leighton can "get" Stephane Auger.