Reasons Steven Stamkos Hasn't Signed Yet

"It's been a while Mr. Stamkos. Please sign soon." Hockey Fans Everywhere.

Anyway, the Stamkos saga is still ongoing. But luckily the DGS Super Spies know why Stamkos hasn't signed.

1. Is holding out hope Glen Sather or Paul Holmgren will overpay him on an offer sheet.
2. Is trying to trade Vinny.
3. Wants to find a dramatic chipmunk
4. Cannot sign a contract until someone finds Paul Ranger
5. Told Gary Bettman he won't sign a contract until Tampa hosts Edmonton on NBC on a Sunday.
6. Wants to play in the NHL, and doesn't get that southern teams are actually NHL teams.
7. Thought the Bolts moved to Winnipeg instead of the thrashers
8. Went across the state of Florida to save the shuttle program by one-timing astronauts into space.
9. Thought the NHL lockout started a year early so he didn't think he needed a contract
10. Stamkos can't get through the 1-3-1 to get to the contract to sign it
11. Stamkos is too tall, he can't see the contract right in front of him being held by Marty St Louis
12. Stamkos wants to get away from Crazy Rolie the Goalie who keeps telling him about "that time the Edmonton Oilers went to the Stanley Cup Finals"
13. Can't decide whether he should fear Matt Cooke, Chris Pronger, Raffi Torres or Steve Downie most and therefore doesn't know who to join.
14. Is trying to figure out where to play in order to get Mattias Ohlund and Victor Hedman to pass him the puck. (Thanks DTV)

There you have it.

What type of player are you? Part 2

A few days ago, Kevin Burgundy from Stay Classy wrote a post about what kind of hockey player are you. I noticed that his list was incomplete. Needless to say, emails were exchanged and with his consent I decided to do part 2 of the list.

Last time I did this, it turned into a fairly moderate success, I partnered up with Don't Trade Vinny on that one when we did our misused hockey terms. This is what DTV had, and the official DGS reply.

So with the consent of the writer, here I go.

I'll start with what I wrote in the comments section of the original post.

The Jeff Carter: When not scoring on the ice, I score with my winger’s wife off it.

The Ian Laperriere: Block shots to the point where I have no face left.

The Chris Pronger: Use my elbows to leave opposing players looking up at me

The Stay-In The Kitchen Defensemen: A stay home defensemen with agoraphobia.
NHL Comparables: Wade Redden, Andrej Meszaros, every current blueliner on the Dallas Stars

The DJ-Goaltender: A goalie who loves strobe lights and goal horns followed by music.
NHL Comparables: Vesa ToskaLOL, Andrew Raycroft, CristoLOL Huet (Kevin added Pascal LOL-claire)

The True Stay At Home D-man: A defensemen who really stays at home, even when under pressure.NHL Comparables: Sami Salo, Mike Van Ryn, Paul Ranger

Moving on.


The Patient Forward: This guy is known for always being patient. As in a patient at the local hospital waiting for MRIs because he's always hurt.
NHL Examples: Marian Gaborik, Simon Gagne, Doug Weight, Paul Kariya

The Harry Potter: This guy is known for being totally invisible, like Harry Potter when under the Invisibility Cloak. You just never see him do anything even when he's on the ice.
NHL Examples: Lee Stempniak, Joe Thornton and Alex Semin during the post-season,

The Grinder (or hoagie, sub, sandwich): This guy loves his food. Enough said.
NHL Examples: Martin Brodeur, Tim Thomas, Kyle Wellwood

The Rioter: This guy is really talented, but he's somewhat reckless and therefore violence always seem to follow him, especially when he's playing well.
NHL Examples: Steve Downie, Dan Carcillo, every Montreal Canadiens player who caused a riot during the 2010 playoff run.

The Houdini Defensemen: This guy always seems to pull a disappearing act, especially when in the Defensive Zone.
NHL Examples: Mike Green, Tomas Kaberle, Lukas Krajicek, The Boston Bruins after the 1st period of Game 7 against the Flyers

The We Have A Legend Only Not: This guy shares a nickname with an NHL legend, too bad he doesn't play like one.
NHL Examples: Robert Esche, Ryan Parent, The 4th NHL Staal brother: Jarrett Stoll

The Smart Guy: This guy always seems to use his head or the heads of others to help his team out.
NHL Examples: Ian Laperriere, Roman Cechmanek, Goalies playing behind Keith Ballard

The Psycho-analyst: This guy likes to get into the heads of opponents in order to make sure that his team always the psychological advantage. He usually does simple things to amuse the simple minds of his opponents.
NHL Examples: Chris Pronger, Steve Yzerman when proposing trades to Paul Holmgren



There you go, now you know

 

Welcoming the Flyers new AHL team: Tampa Bay Lightning

No seriously, look at the Bolts these days, all their Flyers related history. It's almost odd how the Flyers turned the Bolts into an extra AHL team, and how the Bolts kinda play like an AHL team these days too. I mean look at the Lawton/Tocchet era. Even the coaching staff currently has come Flyers connections. The head coach is some guy named Boucher, and as a long time Flyers fan, the name Boucher means a lot to me, mainly because he didn't totally suck this year when we needed him most, games 1 and 5 of the Finals not withstanding (don't worry Brian, I'll judge you based on the result of this series). Boucher's assistant, Dan Lacroix from the 1997 Dan Line of Dan Lacroix, Scott Daniels, and Dan Kordic.

The current Bolts line up features two Flyers rejects.

Let's see, when looking at future talent, the Bolts top agitator is Steve Downie, a guy who's so undisciplined and off the wall that even the Flyers wouldn't even keep him.

The blue line has former Flyer Randy Jones anchoring it's third pair, a guy so bad he lost his job to Ryan Parent/Oskars Bartulis.

Then I realized something, this Bolts/Flyers connection has gone back to the mid 90s.

The historical examples

• When the Legion of Doom failed, Mikael Renberg was sent down to the Bolts in favor of Chris Gratton
• When Gratton didn't help, he was sent down to give Renberg a 2nd chance
• Sean Burke made his way to the Flyers a couple times in his career, he too spent time with the Bolts when he lost his A-game
• Vinny Prospal got shipped between the Flyers/Bolts quite a few times.
• After Antero Niitymaki sucked for the Flyers, he was sent down to the Bolts.
• When Steve Eminger couldn't hack it in Philly, he was traded with Downie for Matt Carle
• Simon Gagne and Randy Jones now join those ranks.

As for the future, I've obtained some exclusive pictures of the future of these franchises.

Being sent down to the Bolts:









Being Called up to the Orange and Black







Ok, I shall wake up now and stop dreaming. (DTV, you can stop crying now this was work of fiction, please don't sue me)

Reasonable Expectations: Andrej Meszaros and the rest of the Defense

Well, it is time once again for everyone to climb aboard the D-Train.

Just as we looked at the Flyers goaltending situation a few weeks ago, DGS is now taking a look at the defense corps. This time, we include best case scenario stat predictions for our Defensemen.

As in the Flyers defense, and this is a somewhat serious post as to what we can expect from our Flyers defensemen this year.

Once again, I have to make this perfectly clear: There is a huge DGS thank you to Don't Trade Vinny for his help with a lot of what you're seeing this week. I honestly could not have come up with all this without him.


Defensemen

3 Oskars Bartulis
6' 2" 184
Jan 21, 1987
Ogre, LVA


09-10 regular season stats

PHL: 53GP 1G 8A 9P 28PIMs

Review in a word: Ordinary
In a sentence: Bartulis didn't wow anyone, but for the most part, he also avoided major mess ups as well.

Forecast: he's gonna spell the 6 regulars and be the first guy inserted due to injury.

10-11 Numbers: 20GP 0g 5A 5P 10PIMs but plays solid D when we need him to


25 Matt Carle
6' 0" 205
Sep 25, 1984
Anchorage, AK, USA

09-10 regular season stats
80GP 6G 29A 35P 16PIMs

Review in a word: Suprising
In a sentence: Carle lived up this 3.437 cap hit and proved that he can be a future #2 NHL d-man.

Forecast: Can he repeat with improvements, Pronger and Timonen are both turning 36 this year, which means Carle and Coburn need to step it up and take on bigger minutes.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 10g 35A 45P 20PIMs




5 Braydon Coburn
6' 5" 220
Feb 27, 1985
Shaunavon, SK, CAN

09-10 regular season stats
81GP 5G 14A 19P 54PIMs

Review in a word: Dissappointing
In a sentence: Coburn was horribly inconsistent during the regular season and honestly got way more than he should have on his contract.

Forecast: Like Matt Carle, Braydon Coburn needs to step up if the Flyers have a shot at repeating as Eastern Conference Champions.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 7g 18A 25P 70PIMs

41 Andrej Meszaros
6' 2" 223
Oct 13, 1985
Povazska Bystrica, SVK


09-10 regular season stats (w/ TBL)
81GP 6G 11A 17P 50PIMs

Review in a word: Disaster
In a sentence: He can only go up, right?

Forecast: $4 million for #5 D-man, I swear, he better be good at something before Holmgren convinces Sutter to take Mesz for a first rounder

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 5g 15A 20P 50PIMs


6 Sean O'Donnell
6' 2" 237
Oct 13, 1971
Ottawa, ON, CAN

09-10 regular season stats (W/ LAK)
78GP 3G 12A 15P 70PIMs

Review in a word: Dependable
In a sentence: Solid proven winner with great leadership skills, enough said.

Forecast: Just needs to hold down the fort like he did in 2007 when the Ducks won the cup, I am not asking for much, just to be better than Ryan Parent.

10-11 Numbers: 70GP 2g 8A 10P 80PIMs


20 Chris Pronger
6' 6" 220
Oct 10, 1974
Dryden, ON, CAN


09-10 regular season stats
82GP 10G 45A 55P 79PIMs

Review in a word: Divine
In a sentence: Chris Pronger is awesome, divine and amazing.

Forecast: He turns 36, can he still keep it going.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 7g 33A 40P 90PIMs




44 Kimmo Timonen
5' 10" 194
Mar 18, 1975
Kuopio, FIN

09-10 regular season stats
82GP 6G 33A 39P 50PIMs

Review in a word: Dependable
In a sentence: I love Kimmo, I do, but, at the same time, I'm reminded that Kimmo carries a 6.33 cap hit, then I don't love him so much anymore.

Forecast: He's old, and on the downside, this could be scary, or amazing.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 5g 25A 30P 40PIMs






8 Matt Walker
6' 4" 215
Apr 7, 1980
Beaverlodge, AB, CAN

09-10 regular season stats (w/ TBL)
66GP 2G 3A 5P 90PIMs

Review in a word: Suck
In a sentence: It's Jimmy Vandermeer version 2.

Forecast: Should spend most of his time in the AHL.

10-11 Numbers: 30GP 0g 0A 0P 70PIMs







Other thoughts:

Meszaros's career numbers are like Coburn's so, I'm hoping that if the 2 of them get their stuff together then, good things will happen, if not, well, then I'm hoping we can pass them off to Calgary for something good.

Holmgren does have a habit of trading horrible defensemen for good things:

Case 1: Zhitnik for Coburn
Case 2: Downie/Eminger for Carle
Case 3: Tollefsen for Leino

Seeing the Brightside, A DGS look at the Gagne trade

I've waited to post this, mainly because I wanted to avoid an unoriginal and pathetic rant about how much I miss Simon. Quite honestly, for that, my Twitter feed to the right should have supplied plenty of that. (Ain't I right DTV?)

With that, I recently posted an analysis on Blades of Funny of some of Holmgren's trades, here's what I came up...reposted here for my loyal DGS-ers



Let’s take a quick look on some of Paul Holmgren’s odd moves

Case 1: Trading Alex Zhitnik to ATL for Braydon Coburn

Well, this was basically a steal for the Flyers

Case 2: Trading Peter Forsberg to Nashville for Upshall, Parent and 2 draft picks
Then trading the picks back to NSH for Scott Hartnell and Kimmo Timonen

ok, so Parent’s back in NSH, Upshall got kicked to Phoenix for Carcillo, Kimmo and Harts are gonna end up killing our cap barring some more moves, but these guys did produce in Philly (except Parent in the Finals)

Case 3: Upshall to PHX for Dan Carcillo

I dislike Carcillo, no denials, but the fact is, Upshall wasn’t gonna see top line time as an RW with Joffrey Lupul and Mike Knuble ahead of him. Well, what if he stayed for 09-10 you say, and I say fine, where would Briere, Carter, Giroux, Lappy be moved to in order to find a slot for Upshall. I love Upshall, yes, but he wasn’t gonna fit in and so getting something for him was a good deal.




Case 4: Parent to NSH for a 7th rounder and Rights to Dam Hamhuis,
NSH 7th Rounder to SJS for Rights to Nabby
Rights to Dan Hamhuis to Pittsburgh for a 3rd Rounder

Wait, Ryan Parent, Ryan F-ing Parent for a third rounder from the Penguins, uhh, steal…duh

Case 5: Ole Tollefsen and 2nd rounder for Ville Leino

Tollefsen’s in the SEL, and Leino lit up everyone he saw in the playoffs, epic win enough said.





So, Holmgren has a knack for getting stuff done…trading Gagne and 2nd round pick for a 4th, Meszaros and Walker might just work out…if not, then my final example…

Case 6: Steve Eminger and Steve Downie to Tampa for Matt Carle…yes Homer has a way of moving Bad D-men out for good ones…



my pick for the 2010 edition

Andrej Meszaros and Dan Carcillo somewhere for a D-man who doesn't suck...guess that excludes Wade Redden, Tomas Kaberle, and Mike Green*

*-(Editor's Note: Why Mike Green made a list of DEFENSEMEN is beyond me)




I wish Gagne the best of luck but if he comes up gimpy in a game with the groin, or takes a Matt Cooke elbow…I won’t be surprised