Hockey Dictionary For Dummies

So, last Friday I got called a "Puck Bunny" in a totally hilarious gaffe by our friends at Don't Trade Vinny. He then posted a series of other misused hockey terms. We here at Down Goes Spezza noticed that his list was somewhat incomplete and in the interest of public knowledge, we have decided it best to include some other highly misused terms in hockey.



"Back to [player name] at point position"

Implied Meaning: Phrase used by Versus/Washington Caps television announcer Joe Beninati to explain a puck that has been passed back to a D-man on the Blue Line

Actual Meaning: In a stroke of luck, Beninati actually sounds intelligent when he says this because normally he sounds like a guy who knows nothing about hockey. In all fairness, he doesn't realize that he is getting this right, and is probably attempting to say "the puck is passed back to the player that I'm pointing to" but screws it up like he does everything hockey related.



"Flyers Starting Goaltender"

Implied Meaning: The goalie in net for the Philadelphia Flyers

Actual Meaning: Some guy who doesn't need crutches and hasn't had an MRI in the last 2 weeks.


"Flyers Backup Goaltender"

Implied Meaning: The goalie on the bench for the Philadelphia Flyers

Actual Meaning: An anonymous face that's about to get 45 minutes of NHL time when the guy ahead of him gets hurt. Also, more people have held this title then heads taken off by Matt Cooke.


"Ian Laperriere has a broken face"

Implied Meaning: That Lappy is hurt and unable to play.

Actual Meaning: Lappy blocked a shot, but he is good to go.


"Non-Successful Southern Expansion"

Implied Meaning: The idea that hockey would work in places like Phoenix, Atlanta, Tampa, Miami or LA.

Actual Meaning: Ask Sami Salo.





"Happy Habs Fans"

Implied Meaning: Fans of the Montreal Canadiens are joyful because of a win.

Actual Meaning: Break out the riot gear, there will be flaming cars and debris everywhere in downtown Montreal.



"John Ferguson Jr's GM Skills"

Implied Meaning: John Ferguson Jr. made a decision while GM that helped the team he was employed for.

Actual Meaning: The secret of the Bruins that allowed them to last in the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs until the second round.



"Toronto Maple Leafs 1st Round Draft Pick"

Implied Meaning: The pick the Leafs will have in this years NHL Entry Draft

Actual Meaning: PHIILL KEESSSSEELLLL!!!!!!


"Brodeur's Pads"

Implied Meaning: The goalie equipment of the NJ Devils netminder, Martin Brodeur.

Actual Meaning: The buildup of last weeks trip to the buffet line