NHL 2010-2011 Season Previews: Southeast Division

Part 4 of the series is here. Today were looking at the southeast division. By the way, Max Talbot called and told me that I need to call Alex Ovechkin a douche. I don't know if I actually will, but hey, you never know.

Florida Panthers

The Good: Sports interest in Miami is now buzzing due to the acquisitions of LeBron James and Chris Bosh along with Wade's decision to stay.

The Bad: This has absolutely nothing to do with hockey.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Goalies for the Panthers no longer have to worry about being decapitated by Keith Ballard.

Carolina Hurricanes

The Good: Are set up with plenty of early first round picks coming from their tank job that should continue for another 3-4 years.

The Bad: After losing Michael Leighton to the Flyers and not resigning Manny Legace, the 'Canes now only have 1 goalie with Stanley Cup experience in Cam Ward.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Hope that other teams take pity on them and allow them to face 82 games of backup goaltenders.

Tampa Bay Lightning

The Good: New General Manager Steve Yzerman is a Jedi which will allow him to hopefully keep evil Sith Lord Darth Ellis in check. (Question Time: How many Twitter meltdowns does Ellis have during the season?)

The Bad: Will constantly be distracted by rumors of trading Vincent Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis, and Simon Gagne to the Canadiens for PK Subban and Carey Price as well as having to pay attention to what Dan Ellis says on Twitter.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will at some point, convince the Flyers to trade Jeff Carter for Paul Ranger.

Washington Capitals

The Good: Because of the tire-changing prowess of Brooks Laich, the Capitals will never be late to games due to flat tires.

The Bad: Like the US Congress, the team will be loaded with plenty of potential but will not actually get anything positive done when it matters.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Hope the NHL teams fall victim to the idea that Mike Green is a defensemen when in fact he actually plays forward.

Atlanta Blackhawks...Thrashers

The Good: As of last check of the team's roster with players like Byfuglien, Kane and Ladd, they are the defending Stanley Cup Champions

The Bad: The team may suffer from an identity crisis as the Cup winning players will have a hard time adjusting to playing in the empty arenas of the Southeast Division.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will do everything they did last season when the team played in Chicago and hope that it works again.

Consolation Prizes for Teams Eliminated in the First Round

So with Round 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs having begun, many people wonder what the teams who were eliminated are up to. Well, guess what, we here at Down Goes Spezza know what's going on.

For instance some players/teams/coaches have big plans for the offseason. So, for your benefit, here are the big offseason plans of those eliminated in the first round.




Chris Durno: Now can find a way to end up on the Maple Leafs so Down Goes Brown’s Durno dreams can be complete.

Phoenix Coyotes: Are now free to decide where they should move to.

Ilya Kovalchuk: Has plenty of time to mull over the cost/benefit analysis of playing in the KHL

Martin Brodeur: Might actually have time to engage in an offseason conditioning plan, this is helped by the fact that Kyle Wellwood is still playing and therefore Brodeur doesn't have a bueffet buddy. Wait, that means Brodeur is alone in the all you can eat line...

Ottawa Senators: Have plenty of time to keep an eye out for coaches in need of a job for the invariable firing of Cory Clouston 3 weeks into next season, to help them, both John Stevens and Rick Tocchet are available. In related news, whichever guy doesn’t get hired can be the coach 10 weeks into next season when the Senators change coaches again.

Jose Theodore/Peter Budaj: Can be well rested for next year when one becomes the next Flyers starting goalie. By the way guys, the position is cursed, injuries happen.

Mike Green: Lots of time to possibly learn how to play defense, or if that fails, can fall back into acting career.

Alex Ovechkin: Can use the free time to continue to work on his tryout for the Washington Nationals

Alexander Semin: Maybe can actually do something so this way I can make fun of him

Brooks Laich: Can open up a successful tire changing business

Yann Danis: Wait a minute, I think he’s still glued to the bench, has someone told him the season’s over yet?

Washington Capitals Fans: Can hide the biggest weakness of themselves, the fact that they don’t actually know anything about hockey.