Yesterday we showed you what the Flyers want for Christmas, well, we also found out what the rest of the NHL wants for Christmas, here's what we found out.
Taylor Hall: To hopefully get a chance to play on an NHL team.
The New Jersey Devils: That the CBA is followed and Kovalchuk's contract is voided.
Brian Burke: Tyler Seguin and a 2011 Lottery pick
Mike Green: Someone who can teach me how to play defense...oh crap, I got Scott Hannan instead
Henrik and Daniel Sedin: A triplet who's identical to us as well
Toronto Maple Leafs Fans: Free therapy from a psychologist...and not Down Goes Spezza
Sheldon Souray: Nothing, I finally got the fuck out of Edmonton
Sidney Crosby: A real wing
Colin Campbell: The ability to use a BlackBerry
Gary Bettman: Expansion to Havana, Mexico City, San Juan, Cairo, and Death Valley...if necessary teams will be removed from Toronto, Detroit, Montreal and Chicago
Don't Trade Vinny: A date with Marty St Louis
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
So it just came out that Scott Hartnell agreed to waive his NTC last year in order to be traded to the Edmonton Oilers for Sheldon Souray. Now, it's mind boggling as to way anyone in their right mind would ever waive an NTC to be traded IN TO Edmonton, so the DGSSuperSpies were put ont the case. Needless to say, their findings were eye opening.
- Dan Carcillo told Hartnell, "Hey, Edmonton's not so bad, when I played in Phoenix, I had to visit Edmonton twice every year." *after Hartnell was out of earshot* "And I made sure to get suspended before every visit."
- Blair Betts, who's from Edmonton said, "As a Ranger, I got to spend summer's in Edmonton and the weather was like 65 degrees every day and sunny, it was nice" *After Hartnell left the room* "Thank god I got to play in the Eastern conference"
- Chris Pronger elbowed Hartnell in the head and said "Edmonton's awesome" before laughing uncontrollably.
- Jeff Carter said, "Trust me dude, it'll be great for your career, showing your tough enough to play in Edmonton. Just don't bring Lisa, she's gonna hate the fact that I'm not...uhh...weather is bad in Edmonton. *Jeff then left to meet Lisa Hartnell and inform her of the great news*
- Danny Briere tried to talk to Hartnell about this, but no one noticed the Hab-sized center as he's too short.
And of course, the dialog between Paul Holmgren and Scott Hartnell.
Paul Holmgren: Hey Scott, glad you could see me.
Scott Hartnell: Urgh me happy to see you to.
Paul: Well, we have a possible trade upcoming, and I need you to waive your NTC
Scott: Where do me go?
Paul: Well, uhh, the Western Conference, though sadly, you're being traded to a team that has no hope in the playoffs.
Scott: Sound not fun. Do me get trade to Shark?
Paul: Not the Sharks.
Scott: Loss Angels Kings, they has fun name Koptar.
Paul: Not the Kings, they wouldn't give us Jon Quick in return
Scott: Calgary Flam? They from close to mine cave.
Paul: Uhh, close actually. We want to trade you to Edmonton.
Paul: Yes, we will be receiving Sheldon Souray in return for you.
Scott: Why do me need to trade to Edmonton?
Paul: Yes, the Edmonton Oilers, but don't worry. They promised that they will never play another game in Edmonton
Scott: Sound like good. Hartnell get angry when playing in Oiler.