Rejected All Star Skills Competition Ideas

Many people look forward to All Star weekend not just for the game itself, but also for the skills competition. What many people don't realize, is that due to time constraints several other events have been removed from the skills competition, luckily the DGS SuperSpies have found the list of events that were scrapped.


The Event: Bad Contract Roulette
How It Worked: A roulette wheel would be placed and each captain would try to stick his opponent with the contracts of terrible players like Ville Leino and Scott Gomez
Reason for Taking It Out: AHL players like Matt Walker and Wade Redden aren't allowed at the NHL All Star Game.


The Event: Dodge The Elbows
How It Worked: Players would skate around the ice dodging obstacles like Chris Pronger's left elbow and Matt Cooke's right forearm while attempting to handle the puck
Reason for Taking It Out: Matt Cooke seems to have cleaned up his act and Chris Pronger has gone the way of Marc Savard.


The Event: Diving Competition
How It Worked: All Stars would make like Summer Olympians and do a diving competition, complete with judges and everything
Reason for Taking It Out: Every single season, the Sedins would win.



The Event: Big Eats
How It Worked: A buffet would be laid out, and each team would see who could consume more food in the allotted team
Reason for Taking It Out: A small problem arose, Martin Brodeur is no longer an All Star goalie capable of challenging Tim Thomas.


The Event: ECHL Future Stars Game
How It Worked: A group of ECHL players would get to play giving hope to teams who employ Steve Mason and Brett Lebda that maybe some better players would arrive.
Reason for Taking It Out: Anchorage, Alaska; Elmira, New York; Trenton, NJ and Gwinnett Georgia are all considered better places to live than Columbus, Ohio.


Even though these events are gone, one still remains. During the actual All-Star Game we can watch players perform the 2 following events-

1: Play More Defense Than Mike Green

2: Loaf around the Neutral Zone more than Alex Kovalev

More NHL iPods

Just over a year ago I did a piece of NHL iPods talking about players favorite songs. It seems like it's time to do it again, This time with music videos!



Scott Hartnell:

Top 3 songs:
-Falling Down by the Birthday Massacre



-Falling by Lacuna Coil



-Falling Again by Lacuna Coil






Terry Pegula: Owner of the Buffalo Sabres



This always seemed to play for him...


Blair Betts: Bad pun on a name alert...




Paul Ranger: Where'd you go?





A Certain Philadelphia Reporter who loves to make up stories and is horribly incompetent:



What song better than "Storytime", something that implies everything is fiction.


Rick DiPietro: The Islander because no matter what, he's always going to be an Islander.




Antti Niemi: Nemo...what's better than a song named after you?





Rick Nash: Over the Hills and Far Away, which is basically him wanting out of Columbus...






The Carolina Hurricanes: Stone People, aka the Hurricanes Defense




Sergei Gonchar: For the Heart I Once Had...because once I got to Ottawa, I stopped giving a sh!t




Sieve Mason: Better Days....he's had them




Ville Leino: Wish You Were Here...as in...he wishes he was still on a line with Scott Hartnell and Danny Briere to carry him...






Finally: Charles Wang, NYI owner....Gimme Shelter...as in a new Arena

Braydon Coburn Contract Facts

Editor's Note:  Relax, kids. This is comedy. Have a laugh this time, in the words of Ilya Bryzgalov, "why you heff ta be mad?"


Braydon Coburn just signed a 4 year contract extension worth $18 million yesterday. While many people have questionable doubts, the DGS superspies were able to calculate exactly how Coby plans on spending this money.


$12 Million will go to being a hockey player. A lot of people think $3M would have been fair for Coburn and so did he, hence, he's budgeted this money as his fair salary,

$5 Million will go to nose related expenses. When you're nose is as big as Coburn's you need to budget significant funds. In fact, here's 5 things Coburn's nose does...

1. In the event of a water landing, Coburn's nose can function as a flotation device.

2. Chris Pronger's hidden a stash of pucks inside of Coburn's nose

3. Should times become desperate, Braydon Coburn's nose may function as an emergency goaltender*

4. Braydon Coburn's nose has been screening Steve Mason since 2009, leading to Mason's very long slump.

5. The gravitational pull of Coburn's nose is so massive, it causes Scott Hartnell to fall down. A lot.

*-Coburn's nose as a goaltender has the equivalent talent of 1 Vesa Toskala.






$1 Million was budgeted as Prize Money for a fight that hadn't happened yet.

The NHL's RDO Camp 2010: Rule Changes You Weren't Told About

So as we all know, the NHL just recently looked at possible rule changes at the RDO camp, well the DGS SuperSpies recently uncovered some other possible rule changes that were NOT tested at the RDO Camp. In the interest of public knowledge and full disclosure we're posting the list here for you to see.

• After trying out 4 on 4, 3 on 3 and 2 on 2 overtimes, 1 on 1 and 0 on 0 were tried as well.
  
  
  
• Goalie's were asked to go pad free, to avoid any debates as to whether pads were too big
  
  
• New shootout format featuring empty nets. (NHL could just force all shooters to shoot on Vesa Toskala during the season to make this work)
  
  
• Players were asked to play a 60 minute game officiated by Stephane Auger where the rules were applied fairly and consistently
  
  
• Players wearing 87 for the Penguins were now called for diving
  
  
• Games could now be canceled in favor of just a shootout
  
  
• Teams on the PK would have the play goalie free and all penalties would last assigned length regardless of how many goals were scored. (note, Bettman still thinks the NHL would lack scoring with this rule)
  
  
• Players were also forced to dress/change/shower in front of life sized posters of Pierre McGuire in order to prepare them for the experience of being interviewed by him after they get drafted.
  
  
• In order to foster more scoring, pucks now entering the crease count as a goal, and pucks entering the back of the net count as 2 goals.
  
  
• Defenseman throwing body checks in the defensive zone will now be called for a 2 minute penalty for "not allowing scoring chances"
  
  
• Goalies who cover the puck in the goal crease are now subject to a "delay of game penalty"
  
  
• Goalies can no longer leave crease to play puck or make saves.
  
  
• Players were also taught to have sophomore slumps that make Steve Mason's look non-existent.