Things Daniel Carcillo Said to Get Suspended

So, earlier today it was announced that Dan Carcillo will be suspended 2 games to start the 2011-2012 campaign.

Now it was said that Carcillo engaged in aggressive behavior with officials and a lot of people wonder, what really went down. Needless to say, the DGS-SuperSpies obtained for me the official transcript of what was said between Mr. Carcillo and NHL Linesman Mr. Ms. Brian Murphy (Because Chris Pronger said that refs are the "she")


Dan Carcillo: Hey! Murphy.

Brian Murphy: Yes, Daniel.

Carcillo: Do you like my facial hair?

Murphy: No, sir, I do not.

Carcillo: Why not?

Murphy: It's ugly

Carcillo: I bet if I was Greg Campbell you would like it.

Murphy: That is because Greg Campbell is amazing and I like my job.

Carcillo: But Greg Campbell is a dirty, filthy, cheating, scumbag, bottom feeding, trash bag ho.

Murphy: I think that comment was out of line, Daniel. I will be telling Colie about this.

Carcillo: You think this comment was out of line, is that what you think?

Murphy: Well------

Carcillo: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!

Murphy: Uhh, Danny....*points to figure in the dressing room* that's Colie...he heard you say everything.

Carcillo: *throws head back, falls on floor* I got sticked in the face by that EVIL EVIL EVIL Steve Ott who tried to murder the heroic Greg Campbell.

Colie: Hmm; that's a fair mitigating circumstance, you only get 2 games instead of a lifetime ban.

Other NHL Sex Related Scandals

So earlier today Daniel Carcillo tweeted the following:

@OG_CarBomb13: "@BizNasty2point0 weigh in on this. When a girl leans back while fingers r in her and says "my dad would b so proud of me"..turn on or no??"

Needless to say he followed up with an apology and then a tweet about going

@OG_CarBomb13: "Goin' commando in N.Y. Feeling so free!"

Now, Daniel Carcillo isn't the first NHL player to have a problem with sexist comments as a matter of fact the NHL is littered with tons of sex issues, here's some of the lowlights.

• December 2008: Sean Avery makes a comment about sloppy seconds. Later in 2010, after a long steady diet of lithium and anti-psychotics, he vows to stand by any gay NHL player who wants to come out of the closet
  
  
• September 2005: Soon after the NHL lockout ends, fans all across the NHL begin questioning the sexuality of one Sidney Crosby.
  
  
• October 2010: James Wisniewski tells Sean Avery to "blow me" marking Wis as being the first NHL player to tell Avery something everyone has wanted to do for years.
  
  
• May 2011: A woman takes a picture of a sleeping Patrick Kane and his boarding pass, come to think of it, why hasn't this happened more often? Also, in a more important question, how did Pat Kane think he was getting to the airport since I'm pretty sure no cabbie would drive him anymore?
  
  
• January 2010: Patrick Kane is photographed shirtless in the back of a limo. The obvious question here is 'does Pat Kane treat limo drivers like he does cabbies?' The second question, "When was Patrick Kane last sober?"
  
  
• June 2008: During the month of June 2008, Brian Rolston discovered a sex-tape of Devils GM Lou Lamoriello, because quite honestly, this is the only explanation for a contract that terrible.
  
  
• July 1996: Todd Bertuzzi gets married, marking the first time a human being has ever married an slimy invertebrate.
  
  
• December 2009: Jeff Carter texts teammate Scott Hartnell that he's going out shopping with wife Lisa for some new outfits so he can look good while picking up women, talk about a text that totally got interpreted wrong.
  
  
• Sometime in say 2004 to present: DGS was accused of kissing girls; and he liked it...something involving the taste of her cherry chapstick
  
  
• Sometime in 2003: Martin Brodeur engages in an affair with his wife's brother's wife. All in all, this makes Chris Pronger look far less slimy.
  
• Since 2001: Pregnancies in Detroit have been increasing exponentially due to the fact that Pavel Datsyuk can impregnate women with dekes.
  
• May 2009: BizNasty graduated with his degree in "Panty Soup." Enough said.
  
• Since 2002: Pierre McGuire has creeped out NHL-ers everywhere by calling games. 

(Editor's Note: RIP Derek Boogaard, you will be missed. 28 is too young for anyone to go.)