Tales From A Pre-season Nothing

Hello Glove -

Long time no talk, eh? Guess what - we're starting tonight. No really, someone thought it would be a good idea to let us start. Third pre-season game of the season in London, Ontario. At least he has most of the regulars on defense to help me out - Timonen, Coburn, Carle, Meszaros - could be worse.

I'm not really sure what this means for me - they have Ilya Bryzgalov and Sergei Bobrovsky - the two goalies they are more than likely going with for the season. Of course there is a logjam for Adirondack with me, Johan Backlund and this Jason Bacashihua guy. Not sure why they signed Bacashilhua. Now the three of us have to battle it out for those two spots. Maybe Backs will head over to Europe - one can only hope.

The way I see it - tonight I have to be good. Of course, it's hard to have something to compare to - Bob gets a shutout in his first start (first time a Flyers goalie has done that since yours truly in May 2010 - I'm sure you remember). Then Bryz gives up 3, but you can't really blame him for all of them. Don't know if I can match Bob's shutout, though that sure would be nice. At this point, I'll settle for keeping it out of the five-hole.

Anyway, I'm sure it's just a matter of time before it's back to the waiver wire once again - then off to Adirondack. At least they love me up there. Nice to be wanted. Sigh. Another season riding the bus. And I might not even be the best guy down there because that Braden Holtby guy got stuck down there another season - just like me.

Wait, where was I - oh right - starting tonight. Legs closed. Don't f*ck up.

Positive Thoughts and Nervous Smiles,

Leights

Steven Stamkos to The Flyers- Bad Idea

Steven Stamkos to the Flyers? Bad idea.

To elaborate, here's why:

(All Numbers from @CapGeek)

If the Flyers were to sign Stamkos at say, 7.1M per season for 15 years, and fork over their next 4 First Round picks, this is what the Flyers would be looking at:



Forwards:
Hartnell 4.2 NTC, Briere 6.5 NMC, Stamkos 7.1
JvR 1.654, Giroux 3.75, Schenn 3.1
Versteeg 3.083, Betts 700K, Nodl 850K
Read 900K, Shelley 1.1M

Total Cap Hit: 29.904M


Defense:
Pronger 4.921 35+, Timonen 6.3 NMC
Meszaros 4, Coburn 3.2
Carle 3.4375, Bartulis 600K

Total Cap Hit: 22.4585

Goalies
Bryzgalov: 5.666
Bobrovsky: 1.75

Total Cal Hit: 7.416

Team Total: 29.904+22.4856+7.416= 59.806M committed salary

LTIR: Ian Lapperiere

Waive to AHL: Matt Walker, Michael Leighton



So it looks good, right? Stamkos is a Flyer and there's 4.4944, but wait...this isn't a full roster. For the sake of ease of math, I'll round up the cap number to 4.5M free.


4.5 Million and the following needs:


a Number 6 Defenseman on the UFA market, a UFA 13th Forward and 2 RFA's that need to be signed, Simmonds and Voracek. Well, by value of production the RFA offers to Simmonds and Voracek should be 1.75 for Simmonds and 2.5 for Voracek so, that totals 4.25 for the 2 RFA's meaning there's 250K for a 13th forward and a 6th Defenseman.


Well, obviously Sestito makes Jody Shelley expendable, so waive Jody Shelley, that means the Flyers now have 1.35 free in cap money, call up Eric Wellwood at 580K as the replacement for Jody Shelley and the Flyers have 770K free for 2 roster spots, a 6th Defenseman and a 12th Forward.



Ok, so, maybe Brayden Schenn starts the season in the AHL, freeing up 3.1M in cap room, but then Ville Leino is resigned at 2.67 to replace him so, when the 3.1 of Schenn is added to the 770K and then the 2.67 for Leino is factored in; the Flyers have 1.2M in Cap Space and 2 roster spots open, a 6th D-man and a 13th Forward who both come in at the league minimum.


Call up Zac Rinaldo as the 13th forward and the Flyers have 655K in capspace and 1 Defenseman that needs to be filled.


655K, one defenseman is easy to find, but then...the Flyers have ZERO space for anyone to get hurt. If any player, misses a game due to injury, the Flyers have no space to make an injury callup as LTIR doesn't kick in unless a player misses 10 games or 24 days.

Ok, but Matt, there's solutions like these:


Trade Versteeg's 3,083M for a 1.5M D-man: Problem, the Flyers shopped Versteeg, there were no takers...this doesn't work


Trade Carle for a 1.5M D-man and a mid round pick to balance the lack of value coming back: Problem- Carle may be average without Pronger, but if the Flyers deal any defenseman not named Pronger or Timonen, the blueline becomes hugely weakened.


Trade Timonen/Briere: I would LOVE to trade these players, they're horribly overpaid, but both have FULL NMC's, the team can ask them to waive it, but here's how that would go:

Holmgren: Hey, can you waive your NMC?
Timonen/Briere: Or what?
Holmgren: We will waive you
Timonen/Briere: You can't, it's an NMC not NTC.
Holmgren: We will buy you out.
Timonen/Briere: You can't, it's an NMC.
Holmgren: Oh, uhh, I guess you have me in a corner here.
Timonen/Briere: DUH!


Get the picture?

Trade Hartnell for a 2.5M D-man: This could work, Harntell has agreed to waive his NTC, if the Flyers can find the right deal, it could work. All they need is a trade partner that needs to hit the salary floor and can give a decent D-man back the other way. If Colorado would deal Erik Johnson for Hartnell and Carle, it could work nicely, but this deal has a less than 10% chance of happening.

Waive Hartnell: Actually, this one works...if you're willing to lose Hartnell for free...or risk him at half price on Recall Waivers

If you're trading Giroux/JvR to make the cap-space, well your hurting the team in the long run and I refuse to crunch any numbers on that idea.

Anyway, see my point, Steven Stamkos isn't worth this headache for the Flyers, unless he's guaranteed to keep the whole team healthy AND score 60 goals.

Or the Flyers can just trade Bryzgalov to Colorado for Erik Johnson and free up 3.06M, resign Brian Boucher to backup Bobrovsky...I'd say this would never happen, but Holmgren dealt Jeff Carter before his 11 year extension kicked in....

And for Stephen:

Stamkos would be a good fit on the Colorado Avalanche. They have the Cap Space. This wouldn't be a problem.

Tales from a [Location TBD] Nothing

My Darling Glove -

Long time no talk, eh? Yeah, it's been a rough few months - to put it lightly. Finally get called up, make it on to the bench, make it into a game in relief but blow it in overtime and finally get a start and just completely fail. You thought I had no lateral movement before, well, ha - Game 5 was much horrendous. A fan in the stands could have done better. To make matters worse, I busted my hip and was unavailable to the media and they started saying I went AWOL and had a breakdown and all this jazz. I had family members calling me to ask if I'm okay and if I needed anything - like really? Give me a break.

So the hip - busted. Yup - that's right, had to have surgery - again. I'm starting to think I'm more fragile than Rick DiPietro. If only I could have figured out how to get a 15-year contract, then I'd be set. I can already tell next year is not going to be a pleasant one.

After the playoff debacle with the musical goalies - cause let's face it, we all stunk at one time or another during the playoffs - management decided it might be time to stop shopping off the goalie clearance rack. They went out and traded for the rights to Ilya Bryzgalov. Yeah, this guy wants serious money and serious years. He'd be kind of amusing if his arrival didn't mean a one way ticket to the waiver wire for yours truly - cause let's face it, he's Russian, Bob's Russian, Boosh is a UFA and I'm screwed. At least it appears that there will be room down on the Phantoms, with rumblings of Backlund going to Europe and Homer just giving up to the rights to everyone else on the farm aside from Stewie - just got to make the most of a bad situation. At least I can go down there and break the AHL shutout record - a whole season down there, piece of cake. At least I'll be wanted.

Maybe it's time to consider a new profession.

Dejected Faces and Heavy Sighs,

Leights

Don't Trade Carter, Trade Hartnell Instead

(Author’s Note: I use the term SO to mean shootout in this article)

(Editor's Note: No humor today, I just realized it's been almost a week since I updated this site and I wanted to be sure you guys didn't think I forgot this place existed so I'm double posting a piece I wrote for HFL on why I think Carter should stay and Hartnell should go.)

The guys over at Broad Street Hockey have written several posts as to why Jeff Carter is not worth trading for a goalie. I myself have gone on record as saying the only player I could accept trading Jeff Carter for is Shea Weber. Anyway, I figure it best that to justify these feelings I should actually show the math behind it. In order to show why Carter is not worth a goalie, I will compare Jeff Carter + Sergei Bobrovsky to Ilya Bryzgalov.

Now, this comparison is based on an attempt to prove that losing Jeff Carter’s production will NOT be worth the bonus of a goalie. Think of it this way, the goals Carter scores will outpace the goals prevented by acquiring a top A+ talent goalie.

Jeff Carter had 36G 30A this season for a total of 66 points: that means that Jeff Carter had a hand in 66 goals in 80 games, this means that Jeff Carter created 0.825 Goals per game. This means that in order to replace Jeff Carter’s production, you need to account for AT LEAST 0.825 goals per game in whatever comes back AND keep the team under the salary cap while doing so. So, let’s try to do that shall we. Sergei Bobrovsky had a .915 SV% for a GAA of 2.59 after allowing 130 goals on 1527 shots in just over 3000 minutes of game time in 54 games played. Brian Boucher’s stats were almost identical so using Bob is a fair comparison.

So, when you multiply out Jeff Carter’s offensive production for 54 games instead of 80, you get 44.55 points, which in order to make the Flyers come out ahead means that I will round up to 45 points. So the new goalie would need to allow 85 goals in 54 games…that’s a pace that would DESTROY the current NHL record. The save percentage (based on the shots Bob faced) would be 99.944%. I’ll stop for a second: 99.944 SV%. That is unheard of. That is IMPOSSIBLE. The NHL record for SV% was set this past season by Tim Thomas, it was 93.8%. Now obviously, I’m not completely insane, I know that another forward would take the spot of Jeff Carter on the Flyers top-6.

So rather than stick to that 99.944% number I’m going to set a bar for this new goalie and look at what the replacement for Jeff Carter would have to put up in order to replace the 66 goals that Carter created. Let’s assume that the Flyers land Ilya Bryzgalov. For 3 of the last 4 seasons, Ilya has put up a 92 or 92.1 SV% and has a career SV% of 91.6%. I am going to be generous and say Bryzgalov posts a 92.5 SV% in 55 games as the Flyers goalie. I’m using 55 games because that’s close to what Bobrovsky played as the ‘starter’ this season for the Flyers. Now, let’s assume that because of the age of the Flyers star defenders, Chris Pronger and Kimmo Timonen, that the Flyers defense allows more shots through on this goalie, whoever he is, so in the 55 games, the Flyers allow 1600 shots on goal. This is an average of just over 29 shots per game up from 28.27 shots per game allowed against Bob last year.

To have a 92.5 SV% Bryzgalov would have to stop 1480 of 1600 shots, which means he allows 120 goals in 55 games for a GAA of 2.18 (this assumes no OT/SO or EN goals and that Bryz plays 60 minutes every game.)

Comparatively speaking, Bob’s 91.5 SV% during the same time: 1464 saves on 1600 shots or 136 goals allowed in 55 games for a GAA of 2.47. (Same rules regarding OT/SO/EN situations.) This means that Bryzgalov is stopping 16 goals that Carter would have scored. Keep the number 16 in mind for later. Jeff Carter created 66 goals in 80 games, since we’re basing our goalies on 55 games, Carter would create 46 goals in 55 games. (It’s actually 45.375, but I’m rounding up which guarantees that if the Flyers ‘break even’ in production terms they’re actually a tiny bit ahead.)

Now, since Bryzgalov is a 16 goal improvement over Bobrovsky in 55 games, we can subtract that 16 from Jeff Carter’s 46 in the 55 games to leave us with 30 goals that need to be accounted for in 55 games or .545 goals per game. This leads to the next question, where do you get a player who creates this type of offense. Well the first thing we’ll do is find out what ‘this kind of offense’ is over an 82 game season, the answer 42.73 points which we will round up to 43. Sounds easy right, finding a 43 point player; well it’s not, because guess what? Carter’s 5.27 cap hit is now on Bryzgalov which means you need to find 43 (or more) points in a player who (according to my calculations) would make less 2.625 against the cap.

Sounds easy right, but wait, ONE MORE THING, you have to replace Ville Leino’s 54 points (per season) as well with another 800K (Leino’s old salary) on the cap, which means, you need to get 2 players, who produce 97 points combined in 82 games with less than 3.1M to do it. This cap number assumes a 62M cap and LTIR of Ian Laperriere, waiving of Shelley, Leighton and Walker and resigning Nodl and Powe to reasonable hits based on their RFA qualifying numbers.

Now, there’s some internal solutions, for one: James van Riemsdyk will surely improve on his 21G 19A effort from 2010-11; 55 points for JvR seems reasonable so that increase of 15 points on his side comes out of the 97 points and knocks it down to 82. So we’re down 2 players costing less than 3.1M AND producing 82 points combined. Assuming Matt Read makes the NHL roster because of his 1-way contract, his NCAA numbers and a limited AHL sample suggest that he could produce like Andreas Nodl did this year, I’m going to be generous and give Matt Read 27 points over a full season. Read has a 900K cap hit. This leaves 2.2M in cap space and 55 points needed just to break even in terms of a full season of production. Can this be done? Yes if Ville Leino signs for 2.2 (he wants 3.5 or more) and has the exact same season, the Flyers break even on dealing Carter for Bryzgalov.

But I propose a counter solution. Trade Scott Hartnell (who has already once agreed his NTC, in 2009 to EDM for Sheldon Souray, but Souray would not waive his NTC) which frees up 4.2 in cap space. Have Matt Read’s 27 points fill in for Hartnell’s projected 50 points then use the remaining (2.625 (cap space)+3.3 Hartnell/Read difference) 5.925 to sign Vokoun at 4 and put 1.925 to signing another 25 point player (they exist at that price and my vote goes to Eric Belanger due to the fact that he’s also solid defensively as well) Here’s why: Vokoun’s save% will be about 92.2% behind the Flyers D and based off his career numbers that could be an understatement, he could very easily put up the 92.5 SV% I put on Bryzgalov. If Vokoun comes in he’s going to stop 11-15 more goals than Bob (92.2-92.4375 SV%) for a GAA of 2.27-2.20. (Again, like earlier, these calculations are based off 1600 shots faced in 55 games)

This means that the Flyers would come out ahead in terms of goals (same offensive production from Read + Belanger in Leino and Hartnell’s slots when JvR’s point increase and the fact that Carter’s got a 16 goal cushion because he’s staying.) And that’s how you win, by scoring more than the other team. This team, based on my calculations with these moves will do just that.

The Flyers 2011-12 Roster...what will change from now (Goalie+D edition)

Goalies:
Brian Boucher: 2012 contract UFA- gone, bye-bye, see ya…no need for Boosh now.

Johan Backlund: 2012 contract 800K, 1way- he should clear waivers again and be the AHL starter, if not, the claiming team is on the hook for his WHOLE salary

Michael Leighton: 2012 contract 1.55M, 1way- Michael Leighton waiver-saver is now Michael Leighton which is English for Roman Cechmanek. He’s gonna be in the AHL unless the Flyers are lucky enough to sucker someone into trading for him.

Sergei Bobrovsky: 2012 contract 1.75M cap hit, 2-way, waiver exempt- Bob’s the 1-A goalie next year…expect him to start 30-35 games if the Flyers get a solid vet to pair him with or 50-55 if the Bob-Leighton show is in effect

Defenseman:

Kimmo Timonen: 2012 contract 6.33M cap hit 1 way- If Kimmo retires, his cap hit goes away. If he stays, he’s probably going to have some offseason surgery to clean up any of the nagging problems. Hope he’s ready to go come September.

Braydon Coburn: 2012 contract 3.2M cap hit 1way- He’s going to back. One of the 2 most solid Flyers D-men this year, and he’s got a reasonable cap hit. This means he’s good to stay. Also, see below.

Matt Carle: 2012 contract 3.437M cap hit 1way- Here’s the guy who I think gets moved. His amazing regular season will be overshadowed by his playoff implosion. The regular season will be the selling point in trade negotiations. The buyer, in my opinion will be Vancouver. The Canucks need to replace the UFA Christian Ehrhoff who’s going to get a massive pay day on July 1. Matt Carle is a similar player, less talented, but also comes at half the cost. Carle to Vancouver for picks or Carle+2012 picks for Cory Schneider is possible.

Andrej Meszaros: 2012 contract 4.0M cap hit 1 way- The Flyers best D-man this season. Played solidly in the playoffs. Next year though, he is not going to be coddled at the number 5 slot. He’s gotta play big minutes because at 36/37, Pronger and Timonen are slowing down.

Chris Pronger: 2012 contract 4.921M cap hit 1 way, 35+- Pronger is on the books no matter what. He may however, spend time on LTIR for the first half of the season. He apparently has the same back problem Leighton had last year. So once again, this team needs to win without Pronger.

Sean O’Donnell: 2012 contract UFA- he’s 39 and was a pylon. Number 6 D-men can be replaced. If SOD wants to come back at say, 750K, it’s a good deal. If not, Gustafsson, Walker or another UFA can fill this role.

Oskars Bartulis: 2012 contract 600k cap hit 1 way: He’s back, the 7th D-man again

Matt Walker: 2012 contract 1.7M cap hit 1 way: He’s the SOD next season. If he stays healthy. If not, waive him and use the cap space to grab another player.


The forwards will come up Sunday. Feel free to ask questions.

How Peter Laviolette Picks His Starting Goaltender (Playoff Edition)

Many of you remember the goalie flowchart where I showed how Lavi picks his starting goalie. This is the playoff version.


Lavi rolls a pair of dice, depending on what comes up, Lavi picks the goalie:

snake eyes: Johan Backlund
pairs that aren't snake eyes: Michael Leighton
5,6,7,8,9 non pairs: Brian Boucher
3,4,10,11 non pairs: Sergei Bobrovsky



Now you know.

Hartnell Down and Versteeg Down: Round 1 Update

To end Round 1, Hartnell Down had a count of 48 and Versteeg Down had a count of 26.

Hartnell Down 48 by the numbers

• Shares a jersey number with linemate Danny Briere
• Height, in inches, of Nathan Gerbe
• Waist measurement of Kyle Wellwood
• Amount of years the NHL would have to control the Phoenix Coyotes before Bettman would ever consider moving them back to Winnipeg
• Times, per minute, Pierre McGuire says something about his love of Mike Richards during a TSN/NBC broadcast of a Flyers game.
• Elbows, per period, thrown by Pronger on unsuspecting opposing forwards
• Cigarettes smoked by Carey Price during an average intermission
• Shots high and wide by Jeff Carter during an average shift
• The age Teemu Selanne will be when his point total and age are the same
  

Versteeg Down 26 by numbers

• Shares a number with teammate Danny Syvret, Offensive Dynamo
• Heart attacks DGS has per game started by Sergei Bobrovsky where Bob tries to handle the puck
• Times Andrej Meszaros blasts that big slapshot wide per game on the PP
• Dirty hits, per period, of this postseason so far
• Times, per minute, Jack Edwards has accused the Habs of diving during Game 7 of Habs/Bruins
• Times, per period, someone accuses the Flyers of needing better goaltending
• Times, per game, I see the Ovechtrick commercial on Versus
• The amount of cents Patrick Kane probably needs to pay his cabbie
• The amount of shots Partick Kane drinks during an average game
• Saves Brian Boucher made during game 7 to send the Flyers to round 2...Ryan Miller then accused Brian Boucher of committing genocide
• Difference in height, measured in centimeters, between Kris Versteeg and Tyler Myers
• Times Jonathan Toews has blinked...in his lifetime

There, now you know.

Missing: The Flyers Power Play Unit

The Down Goes Spezza Super Spies have been busy recently. You know, doing stuff. In this case, they uncovered a list of things the Flyers are up to instead of scoring on the power play.

• Talking about things like complex physics and atomic level chemistry
  
  
• #Winning with Charlie Sheen
  
• Making a get well card for injured defenseman like Chris Pronger, Oskars Bartulis, and Nick Boynton
  
• Wondering why it's so hard to score on goalies since the team only gets to practice on Michael Leighton, Brian Boucher, Sergei Bobrovsky and Johan Backlund.
  
• Debating DOOP and Bro Hymn
  
• Missing Steve Whyno
  
• Answering questions from DamoPunk
  
• Trying to find a goalie
  
• Perfecting a Criss Angel like disappearing act
  
• Doing their best "Playoff Joe Thornton" impression.
  
• Not being classless by scoring when up a man.

Things Steve Yzerman Also Wants This Offseason

Recently Steve Yzerman said that he would ask all Lightning players to wear visors starting next season. What most people don't know is that Yzerman also had another list of demands that he made of us players. Now, because Don't Trade Vinny has been out of it recently, I took it upon myself to send the DGS-SuperSpies to find out what else was on that list. Luckily, they obtained me a copy of the list which I will now share with each of you.

• That Marty St. Louis grow to an appropriate an NHL height of 4 feet tall.
  
• That the media ignore any all relevant Lightning stories and replace them with possible trade rumors involving Vincent Lecavalier to the Montreal Canadiens
  
• Acquiring Chris Pronger and Sergei Bobrovsky from the Flyers for Mike Smith
  
• That the Montreal Canadiens trade Carey Price to the Lightning for Dan Ellis's remaining problems in Tampa.
  
• That the media actually talk about how the Tampa Bay Lightning are an NHL team and not some figment of your imagination.
  
• Tampa becomes Detroit-south by changing their uniforms to red and white and putting a winged wheel on the center crest.
  
• Someone offers a 2nd round pick for Dominic Moore
  
• A defense
  
• A goalie who's younger than his head coach

Tales from a Philadelphia Press Box: Do Over Anyone?

My Darling Glove -

Well - we cleared waivers. That's right, I'm back in orange and black - okay, I was always in orange and black, I've just ditched the purple. I'm officially back on the Flyers' roster. Granted, I'm a third goalie again - just here for depth, but it still feels good. I'm joining the team in Buffalo tomorrow. I heard it snowed there today - it will be like I never left Glens Falls.

Right away, Lavy deemed Bob the starter for Friday (a whole two days in advance, really?) - and then said Bob and Boosh were the guys for the playoffs. Yeah, I get it. Don't want to deal with me. Tough luck, I'm here anyway. Maybe something will go my way, maybe it won't - but for now, I'm going to enjoy living in a city again. The Phantoms season was pretty much over anyway.

Of course, if they wanted to see if they could get a shutout in their last two games, they might be better served putting me in between the pipes...just saying. And of course, against the Islanders, I'd like to see DiPietro try to fight me - come on down buddy, I'll break the other side of your face. No problem.

Anyway, I'm just happy to be here. I mean nothing could taint this moment for me, it's just so wonderful to be in the NHL aga- oh crap, I have to start paying escrow again. #DanEllisProblems.

Hugs and a Slightly Lighter Wallet,

Leights

Tales from an Adirondack Nothing: The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

Well Glove -

My times has come. I got the call up today. I officially went on re-entry waivers at noon today. Now it's going to be a long 24-hours. See, who knows where I'm going to be in 24 hours. If I clear, I go to the Flyers and I'm back on the roster. I even hear they are interested in my starting against Buffalo on Friday. How awesome would that be? Maybe I could finally get them a shutout - 'cause you know, I have five in 29 games and Boosh and Bob have none in 79 games.

Of course, I might not clear. I could be claimed. If I'm claimed, then I can't play this season for the claiming team. They're claiming me for next year - or to screw the Flyers over. I'm a little scared that Ottawa will take me - just what I need, to be stuck behind Craig Anderson again. For joy of joys.

So while we wait, let's recap my love/hate relationship with the waiver wire:

1. 2005: Waived by Hawks 'cause I was the third goalie, coach hated me - I cleared, but then got traded to Buffalo.
2. 2006: Anaheim waived me to send me to the AHL as the depth goalie. I cleared.
3. 2006: Anaheim put me on re-entry waivers when both their roster goalies were injured, but Nashville claimed me.
4. 2007: After 20 minutes with Nashville, I got waived again and claimed by the Flyers.
5. 2007: The Flyers traded for Marty Biron, so I got waived and claimed by Montreal.
6. 2009: Carolina waived me in favor of Manny Legace. No one claimed me.
7. 2009: Carolina tried to help me out by putting me on re-entry waivers in hopes that someone would take me at half price - and the Flyers did. You know the rest of that year.
8. 2011: The Flyers waived me after I returned from back surgery. I cleared and reported to the Phantoms. Been kicking ass and taking names ever since.
9. 2011: Currently sitting on re-entry waivers hoping no one takes me and ends my season.

So there you have it. My stomach will be in knots for the next 24 hours. For joy. I'll try to write about week 13 while I wait. We'll see what happens.

By the way - they told me during the team photo - awkward!

Hugs and Chewed Fingernails,

Leights

Things DGS Gets Improperly Credited For

Contrary to what people seem to think, I have not come up with the idea of Hartnell Down. That honor goes to Seth from Flyers Corner. But this isn't the only thing that people are giving me credit for that I didn't do. Here's a list of things that I swear I've never done.

• Used Twitter to start a revolution in Egypt
  
• Inflated America's current unemployment rate
  
• Allowed Colin Campbell to spin the Wheel of Justice
  
• Written "Friday" so it could be performed Rebecca Black
  
• Freeing the Bronx Zoo Cobra, and apparently catching him too
  
• Setting cars on fire
  
• Rioting when the Flyers win a playoff series
  
• Burning Montreal to the ground.
  
• Preventing Tomas Kaberle from waiving his NTC for a long time
  
• The Flyers goaltending issues
  
• Sergei Bobrovsky's success
  
  

Those things....I didn't do it

Tales from an Adirondack Nothing: Weeks 9 and 10

Hello Glove -

I know, I've been slacking. Just haven't felt like I had much to say, at least not last week. Let up five goals against the Albany Devils. Not all my fault, but there are at least two I would very much like back. Not good. I mean really, not good. Needless to say, I spent the next day on the bench. It's okay though, this little girl saw my mask on the ground and wanted to hold it. Security let her and then I came out of the locker room for a picture. Adorable. Really.

Played Albany again this week, but I was still parked on the bench. Couple of fights I was really eager to get in to - at one point, Kalinski was just taking a pounding and I pushed the security guard aside to bang on the glass to tell the refs to break it up (1:30 in). I mean really, isn't that their job, not mine? Sometimes I really feel like I have clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right. Seriously.

Saturday I got to play Hershey. You would think we could beat them since that Holtby guy is up lighting it up in the NHL (so jealous), but no. Lost 3-2 in OT. I think I did okay, but not great.

Good news though - Sunday - ah Sunday - my redemption. Stood on my head. Stopped all 28 shots I faced and notched my third shutout of the year, 32 all-time in the AHL. Meanwhile, Bob and Boosh - still nada. I know it's not much, but it's all I got, so I go with it.

Hugs & Boredom,

Leights

Tales from an Adirondack Nothing: Week 7

Dear Glove -

It wasn't such a great weekend for me. I mean, we got two points, but lost in shootouts. I'm just not good at those. Sunday, this one guy just came right up and stuffed it through the five-hole. That's just wrong. I really need to work on that. Saturday, I actually managed to give up three goals in four minutes. Not my finest moment. Sure coach will love me even more now. Sigh. At least Johan lost on Friday, too...in a shootout. Really, what is that?

I had a brief glimmer of hope on Sunday before the game. The Flyers were playing the Rangers and Boosh went down with an injury. Looked pretty bad, he wasn't getting up or anything. I got excited for a moment and then realized what does it matter? There's no way I'm making it through re-entry waivers, so I'm stuck here for the duration, regardless of what happens to Boosh and Bob. Hell, they'd call up Backlund then bring Riopel or Stewie back from the ECHL and one of them would be more appreciated by coach.

Yeah, I'm in hell. Sigh.

Hugs & Tears,

Leights

Lost in Translation: Второе издание

From the Crease of Sergei Bobrovksy

1. Girlfriend + Sex = Goal
2. Dumplings + Parents = No Goal

Next Steps:

1. Dump girlfriend
2. Get visa for parents

Bob

Boosh's Secret Diary: Entry 3

Dear Diary -

January started out with so much potential, but it's gone downhill so quickly. Opened the month by finally getting rid of Leights, who has been a pain in my ass since he got here in December 2009. No more bitching and moaning from him. Enjoy Glens Falls, buddy. And then there's Bob - couldn't stop a beach ball for a whole month. I stepped in and solidified my role as the go-to guy. I owned the Devils. Life was good.

And then it happened.

Boston - really bad third period. I mean horrible. I lost that game for us. Rangers, I was good in the beginning, but total meltdown at the end, including holy deja vu when I recreated the horror that was the Stanley Cup finals losing goal. I'm starting to think Leights has a voodoo doll of me in Glens Falls. It's a problem. Thankfully, my teammates scored enough to cover my ass. The Devils, the team I normally own, not good there either, and the team came out flat. By the way, Johan Hedberg - you're Johan Hedberg - start playing like it.

And then there was Bob. Guess what - he can stop a beach ball now - and much more. Plus there was that whole article about how he promised Lavy he wouldn't lose for a month back in October. Fans just ate that one up. Everyone is back on the Bob bandwagon. This fan base has goalie-ADD. Sigh. Good thing Lavy doesn't operate that way - I think...

XOXO,

Boosh

Lost in Translation

Sergei Bobrovsky started the season like a man on a mission. Recently the DGS Superspies uncovered Bob's secret to do list.

From the Crease of Sergei Bobrovksy...

To Do List
1. Dominate training camp (Bob)
2. Force games to shootout (Bob)
3. Shootout not regular part of game (Bob)
4. Start beat Boosh (Bob)
5. Spoil new igloo open house (Bob)
6. Brainwash fans (Bob)
7. Steal car (Bob)
8. Build house (Bob)
9. Get in girlfriend in US
10. Mail shutout
11. Meet Santa (Bob)
12. Exterminate holey goalie (Bob)
13. Take nap (Bob)
14. Terminate old goalie
15. Говорить English

Boosh's Secret Diary: Entry #2

January 5, 2011

Dear Diary:

I don't have a lot of time. Since Leights finally got the hell out of town - after making the world cry with him - again - I finally have more time to practice. But I just had to say this - I finally made it. I'm a number one goalie! It's true. This blogger says I am so it must be true! Hooray! How you like them apples, Bob?

Until next time.

XOXO,

Boosh

Boosh's Secret Diary

(Editor's Note: Under the direction of PhillyGirl the DGS-SuperSpies managed to grab a hold of Brian Boucher's diary during the recent road trip...airport security just ain't that good)

January 3, 2011

Dear Diary –

Happy New Year! Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 34 years old – can you believe it? Seems like just yesterday I was carrying the Flyers in the 2000 playoffs and stabbing Bill Barber in the back after we had an epic collapse.

Lavvy gave me the start for my birthday against Detroit. Last time we won in Detroit, I was 14 years old. Amazing. So did we break that streak yesterday? You bet we did. Detroit was all over us in the first, but I held my ground and the team actually felt like scoring me some goals. I’ve got to find a way to keep this hot streak going because I think I nabbed the starting role from the Russian kid, finally. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to be “mentor” to this kid? He doesn’t understand a word I say. He just says “Bob.”

Steals my dance moves too!

Speaking of nabbing the role – this whole three goalies thing was not working out. There’s not enough room at practice – the media is freaking out over Bob and his lost confidence and Leights is crying in the corner at practice because he can’t have a net. How am I supposed to concentrate? The good news is I think my chances of staying the number one are pretty good since Bob can’t stop a beach ball lately and Homer just gave Leights a one-way ticket to Adirondack (don't cry Leights, I hear the weather there is beautiful this time of year). Plus, I made it in and out of Vancouver without Ryan Parent coming anywhere near me.

Next up: back-to-back games with the Devils. I own them. Life is good.

Until next time.

XOXO,

Boosh

The 2011 Flyers Drinking Game

Ok, I've done a totally non serious drinking post before. Playing that game might cause death by the 2nd period. This one, is allegedly safer.
 (Editor's Note: no way to tell, DGS is Straight Edge)

So here we go, get some alcohol together...we recommend

Captain n Coke, Vodka n Cran, Sam Adams Bahstan Lagah, champagne and jello shooters.

Ok, this requires 3 players

Pass one beer to everyone playing, as well as one captain n coke and vodka n cran.



Rules: to "win" be the last person with a drink left.

Each person chooses one of the following players

Andrej Meszaros, Scott Hartnell, and Jeff Carter

you drink when your players does the following:

Meszaros: blasts a slap shot wide

Hartnell: Drink on Hartnell DOWN!

Jeff Carter: Drink on "Carter shoots high and wide"

All players drink on the following:

Steve Coates says: "I'm looking over (player)'s shoulder."

Brian Boucher causes a "Boosh" chant

Mike Leighton gives up a 5 hole goal....

Sergei Bobrovsky gives you a heart attack after playing the puck



Good luck, have fun.