DGS Guest Post: "The Awesome Jason "Giggles" Spezza

(Editor's Note: This post is brought to you by the lovely SensDew19 who attempted to go out and defend Jason Spezza. She's a huge friend of the blog and is great to follow for Senators news. Anyway, a huge thank you to her for writing this. Hope you guys enjoy. Again, these views are the views of Dew, not of DGS.)


You’ve all seen the goals, you’ve seen the passes (hopefully forgotten the failed drop passes) and most importantly you’ve all heard those amazing giggles. You’ve seen him get bullied by media and fans for being too relaxed. You’ve seen his own GM ignore the concept of secrecy in their end of season meeting. You’ve read the trade rumours year after year after year. But there’s only one Jason Spezza and he is NOT going anywhere anytime soon.

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re a huge DownGoesSpezza fan which means you have not yet experienced the meaning of a Jason Spezza fan. Hellp everyone, my name is SensDew19 and I am a Jason Spezza addict. Let me take you through a ride that you will not soon forget and hopefully convert you into what I have become.

Jason Spezza has always been so awesome, even as a baby he was awesome they picked him from hundreds of 1-year olds to model for a broadway show and afterall who wouldn’t pick such a gorgeous kid as their poster boy? Really now! Even you Spezza haters will agree, this kid is just so lovable! Did you know it took his Mom close to 2 hours to stop him from giggling at everything at the photo-shoot for minute maid? Did you also know that while I just made up the previous statement, it probably is true anyways?

Even at this young age, Spezza dropped things
so opponents just be sprung on breakaways

The modelling career ended at a young age because Jason Spezza is so awesome he realized he needed to do something that’s at his same level of epicness; enter hockey. Yes, he chose to play the most amazing game on earth. He then got drafted to the most amazing team in the NHL, and no that would not be the Philadephia Flyers because you are not that awesome and you drafted Jeff Woywitka. If you don’t know who that is, too bad cause neither do I. Moving on, ever since then the Ottawa Senators were forever changed. They were showered with giggles, amazing passes and turnovers from the most elite kind. They found someone to pinpoint all their problems on him, did you know that the entire global warming problem started because of Jason Spezza? With Ottawa media, accusations like that were not far. Year after year, he took the abuse and year after year he dealt with it with the only way he knows how:

GIGGLES!


Being a Jason Spezza fan isn’t easy, actually it could be the hardest hockey fan job ever, after being a Maple Laffs fan of course cause that’s just torture, but I wouldn’t want to be any other kind of fan. When speaking of Jason Spezza the following comes up: do you remember that stupid drop pass that cost us a goal? Do you remember how he sucked defensively a couple years back (cause obviously if you’re never given the chance to develop your defensive game, it’ll just magically appear)? Do you remember how he didn’t win the Stanley Cup? Do you remember how he played on the fourth line on Team Canada (yes Jonathan Toews was his linemate but it was the FOURTH LINE! OMG!)? They’ll tell you remember when Patrick Sharp started the DOWN GOES SPEZZA?! ;) See, when people ask me about Jason Spezz, that’s what I tell them. He is the guy that always has a smile on his face no matter what he’s gone through and what has been said about him. He is the guy that made Andrew Alberts and Sami Salo look like potted plants on the ice.




He’s the guy who took the hit for trade rumours year after year with stride and maintained his loyalty to this team even after the fans, media and occasionally management didn’t reciprocate that respect. He is the guy that had his wedding open to the entire world to witness and talk about, he made Ottawa part of his wedding! I remember the time when Jason Spezza knowing he is not even remotely close to the level of Dion Phaneuf’s fighting abilities, dropped the gloves to show him he won’t take it when he messes with his teammates (too bad that teammate turned out to be a complete jerk).




Lastly, when asked about Jason Spezza I tell people that he is the reason I fell in love with this team and game. He is the guy that cheers me up after a bad day and he is the guy that is far from perfect but I wouldn’t want him any other way. Sens fans, Flyers fans and hockey fans from around the league take a moment to appreciate the magic that is Jason Spezza!!

Disclaimer: This post does not do enough justice to what Jason Spezza is, for further proof of Spezza epicness please visit the following videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vos_o3fJR3g


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTOqmW7uGvk


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ae9ROAJxCI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nzijbbTnYc&feature=related (HEY, I was at that game)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbGG5huSa8E (HEY, I was at that game too! Check out the pass and Spezza reaction)

Oh Come All Ye ToskaLOLs

Ever wondered what the NHL is singing around the holidays, yeah, we've been finding out for you. Here's another one.


Oh come all ye grinders
defensemen and enforcers
Oh come ye, oh come ye
To Toskala
Come and score on him
He of the pretend glove hand
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
He really sucks

Oh come all non-scorers
Kovalchuk and Davison
Oh come ye, oh come ye
To Toskala
Come and score on him
He'll put the puck in his own net
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
He really sucks

Oh toss all the waffles
With or without syrup
Oh toss them, oh toss them
At Maple Leafs
Come and laugh at them
Because they have no draft picks
Oh come give them a draft pick
Oh come give them a draft pick
Oh come give them a draft pick
Then fire Wilson

Oh trade all ye draft picks
To the Boston Bruins
Oh trade them, oh trade them
For nothing good
Raycroft for Rask
Still makes Leaf fans weep in shame
Oh fuck you JFJ
Oh fuck you JFJ
Oh fuck you JFJ
I hate you.




(Editor's Note: On a slightly more serious note: I feel the need to share this following open letter to Leafs fans because DGS-Cares)


Dear Leafs Nation,

Look, it's not going well right now. It's pretty bad. But if you put down the bottle of Jack Daniel's for a second and read this letter, there is some hope. DGS is psychologist (in training) and he's willing to offer free therapy to any Leafs fan who needs it. Just send your problems to DownGoesSpezza@gmail.com and I'll answer them publicly as part of my "DGS-Cares" campaign. I have a soft spot for you guys because, well, I hate Jason Spezza, and I hate the Habs. So this is my way of saying, Happy Holidays Leafs Nation.

-Down Goes Spezza


PS: Don't worry Flyerdom, you guys are getting your Christmas letter on Christmas Eve.

Things People Involved in the NHL are Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving to my loyal American DGS readers. Speaking of it being Thanksgiving, it's the time of the year to be thankful, for something like hockey and the Flyers being in first place. Because of this, we sent out some texts to some NHL players to ask them what they're thankful for. The responses we got were rather enlightening.


Kyle Wellwood: "Butter, stuffing, French fries and trans-fats."

PK Subban: "Mike Richards didn't kill me, that's the nicest thing someone's done for me since my car got burned during a riot last spring"

Sheldon Souray: "I get to play in Hershey instead of Edmonton; mission accomplished"

Sidney Crosby: "No matter how much I dive, Bettman still loves me"

Patrick Kane: "Thbt Suttere kidd who pnchrd cabbie driverz"
(I wasn't sure what he was ok so I texted him back to ask 'Dude are you ok?')
Kane's response: "Yes, jus haad somme tequila"

Dammit Kane, stay sober for like...a day..seriously

Dan Ellis: "My money"

David Booth: "Mike Richards didn't kill me, I owe him one."

Peter Chiarelli: "Making the playoffs and getting a lottery pick 2 years in a row"

Colin Campbell: (Editor's Note: Colie didn't respond, apparently he doesn't know to use a Blackberry)

Brian Burke: "No one pretends to be me on Twitter anymore."

Glen Sather: "The Rangers ownership, for keeping me employed"

Derek Boogaard: "My goal scoring abilities"

Ilya Kovachuk: "Being able to play in NHL for 9 more years even tho Bett-man think I play 15 more"

Crazy Lou: "Jelly"

Joe Thornton: "The Heimlich maneuver, saving my life every year after I seem to choke every May"

Antti Niemi: "Leighton not closing 5 hole, made me cup winning goalie"

Sean Avery: "The ability to give others my sloppy seconds"

Henrik Sedin: "Daniel Sedin"

Daniel Sedin: "Henrik Sedin"

Coach Sutter: "Having a brother as GM so i dont get fired"

Brad Richards: "Knowing that I have at most, 7 months and 6 days in Dallas"

Andrew Raycroft: "A job in the AHL for the Texas Stars that keeps me from playing in Russia"
My response: "Uh Andrew, you play for the NHL's Dallas Stars"
Andrew Raycroft: "LOL there is NO way this is an 'NHL' team, it's defence is like ECHL quality"

Brian Gionta: "No one's burned my house down even tho I'm an American who's captain of the Habs"

Scott Gomez: "the lack of a height requirement to play in the NHL"

Jason Spezza: "Not having been destroyed by Patrick Sharp since 2004"

Gary Bettman: "Being a league that's so unnoticed, no one did anything about Colin Campbell...those MLB guys always dragged in front of Congress; that sucks for them"