Other NHL Sex Related Scandals

So earlier today Daniel Carcillo tweeted the following:

@OG_CarBomb13: "@BizNasty2point0 weigh in on this. When a girl leans back while fingers r in her and says "my dad would b so proud of me"..turn on or no??"

Needless to say he followed up with an apology and then a tweet about going

@OG_CarBomb13: "Goin' commando in N.Y. Feeling so free!"

Now, Daniel Carcillo isn't the first NHL player to have a problem with sexist comments as a matter of fact the NHL is littered with tons of sex issues, here's some of the lowlights.

• December 2008: Sean Avery makes a comment about sloppy seconds. Later in 2010, after a long steady diet of lithium and anti-psychotics, he vows to stand by any gay NHL player who wants to come out of the closet
  
  
• September 2005: Soon after the NHL lockout ends, fans all across the NHL begin questioning the sexuality of one Sidney Crosby.
  
  
• October 2010: James Wisniewski tells Sean Avery to "blow me" marking Wis as being the first NHL player to tell Avery something everyone has wanted to do for years.
  
  
• May 2011: A woman takes a picture of a sleeping Patrick Kane and his boarding pass, come to think of it, why hasn't this happened more often? Also, in a more important question, how did Pat Kane think he was getting to the airport since I'm pretty sure no cabbie would drive him anymore?
  
  
• January 2010: Patrick Kane is photographed shirtless in the back of a limo. The obvious question here is 'does Pat Kane treat limo drivers like he does cabbies?' The second question, "When was Patrick Kane last sober?"
  
  
• June 2008: During the month of June 2008, Brian Rolston discovered a sex-tape of Devils GM Lou Lamoriello, because quite honestly, this is the only explanation for a contract that terrible.
  
  
• July 1996: Todd Bertuzzi gets married, marking the first time a human being has ever married an slimy invertebrate.
  
  
• December 2009: Jeff Carter texts teammate Scott Hartnell that he's going out shopping with wife Lisa for some new outfits so he can look good while picking up women, talk about a text that totally got interpreted wrong.
  
  
• Sometime in say 2004 to present: DGS was accused of kissing girls; and he liked it...something involving the taste of her cherry chapstick
  
  
• Sometime in 2003: Martin Brodeur engages in an affair with his wife's brother's wife. All in all, this makes Chris Pronger look far less slimy.
  
• Since 2001: Pregnancies in Detroit have been increasing exponentially due to the fact that Pavel Datsyuk can impregnate women with dekes.
  
• May 2009: BizNasty graduated with his degree in "Panty Soup." Enough said.
  
• Since 2002: Pierre McGuire has creeped out NHL-ers everywhere by calling games. 

(Editor's Note: RIP Derek Boogaard, you will be missed. 28 is too young for anyone to go.)

Emptying the Mailbag: Real DGS emails...

If you follow me on twitter, facebook, or read the site, you know that I love to talk. You also know that I pride myself on being able to answer anything tossed my way related to hockey. Well, sometimes it gets to be too much, whether it's the trolls, the idiots on the Flyers facebook page or spambots, I've been totally cursed had the pleasure of dealing with some people who make me question the idea of "user friendly computers." Chances are, if you're reading this, you are NOT someone who sent me one of these emails. But if someone is reading this to you, well, you really shouldn't play with the computer unsupervised.


(Editor's Note: I won't reveal the names or email addresses of the senders for privacy reasons.)


10. "In http://downgoesspezza.com/2010/08/dgs-special-investigation-series-how.html, I tried to make the same trades on my PS3, they didn't work, you lied to me."

Because, yeah, it's my fault that your season simulation in be a GM mode didn't yield the same player growth that mine did...

9. "If you think Bobrovsky and Boucher are good enough for the playoffs, you're an idiot, this team needs Leighton, why won't you tell Lavi to call him up?"

Because Re-entry waivers...

8. "Jeff Carter only scores on Lisa Hartnell, you were right to finally tell us that. He totally sucks and should be traded"

This is a satire blog, that transcript was clearly marked as fictional, also, Jeff Carter has a higher shooting percentage than Alex Ovechkin.

7. "Wait, why no discussion of the Phillies?"

Yes, the guy who sent this was serious, I actually laughed him off thinking it was a joke...


6. "What do mean Ilya Kovalchuk's a true enforcer? He's only got 4-5 fights ever."

This Post: http://downgoesspezza.com/2010/10/ilya-kovalchuk-comes-clean-about-why-he.html

You REALLY think I'm being serious now don't you...


5. "I'm sick of Rangers fans like you thinking they know hockey..."

Oh for the love of...READ MY BIO

4. "Jeff Carter sucks, why do you keep defending him."

Well for one, shooting percentage doesn't lie...he's shooting BETTER than Ovechkin this year...

3. "The Flyers should trade Brian Boucher and get a real goalie" I pointed out the salary cap..."that doesn't matter, if they wanted it, they could do it" Ok, who would give up a real goalie for Brian Boucher "well, if Boucher was packaged with Zherdev and draft picks, then the Flyers could have Vokoun"...yeah because the fact that the Flyers couldn't GIVE Zherdev away on waivers means someone would trade for him without some sort of catastrophic incident...plus the picks don't exist due to the Meszaros and Versteeg trades

2. "Stop talking about this team like you know it, you're a god damn bangwagoner who's gonna jump ship ths second this team falls out of first place"

Yeah...right


1. "Crosby SUCKS!!!!!!!"

No, he doesn't...I hate him, but that doesn't take away the fact that he's one of the best players in the game today...

Crosby Starts to Whine and Cry (Angels We Have Heard On High)

Yes that's right, another song parody. (Sing to Angels We Have Heard On High..which means...sing the chorus right in your mind when reading this). Long story short, we're rolling this song because of the Flyers amazing 3-2 victory over the Penguins to end their 12 game winning streak.


"Dive and Cry"

Crosby starts to whine and cry
After someone looks his way
And the ref gives a reply
A minor sends him away

Dive and Cry
Bettman looks the other way
Dive and Cry
Campbell looks the other way

Ovi slewfoots like a douche
After someone turns their back
And Bettman has no clue
Because he is such a quack

Board and spear
Bettman looks the other way
Board and spear
Campbell looks the other way

Subban is a whiny bitch
Always running his big mouth
And now digging his own ditch
Mike Richards will punch him out

Drop the gloves
PK gets what he deserves
Drop the gloves
Midgets cannot save his ass

Patrick likes to sip the wine
Then punch out the cabbie
Something tells me he's not fine
Hangovers are really crappy

Drink the booze
Kane soon will pass out again
Drink the booze
Kane is super drunk again

Things Other People in the NHL want for Christmas

Yesterday we showed you what the Flyers want for Christmas, well, we also found out what the rest of the NHL wants for Christmas, here's what we found out.


Taylor Hall: To hopefully get a chance to play on an NHL team.

The New Jersey Devils: That the CBA is followed and Kovalchuk's contract is voided.

Brian Burke: Tyler Seguin and a 2011 Lottery pick

Mike Green: Someone who can teach me how to play defense...oh crap, I got Scott Hannan instead

Henrik and Daniel Sedin: A triplet who's identical to us as well

Toronto Maple Leafs Fans: Free therapy from a psychologist...and not Down Goes Spezza

Sheldon Souray: Nothing, I finally got the fuck out of Edmonton

Sidney Crosby: A real wing

Colin Campbell: The ability to use a BlackBerry

Gary Bettman: Expansion to Havana, Mexico City, San Juan, Cairo, and Death Valley...if necessary teams will be removed from Toronto, Detroit, Montreal and Chicago

Don't Trade Vinny: A date with Marty St Louis

The Blogging Psychologist: Case Study #3: Sidney Crosby

Sometimes we, the friends, who write Down Goes Spezza are accused of only being self-promoting, self-centered writers who are only in it for ourselves (come to think of it, we're attention whores). This isn't true, we're performing a very important important public service. We are diagnosing psychological issues in the NHL and giving them hope to recover from their issues.

1: How many more Dives
I will take, just one more
dive and I will never
dive again

Today's patient is someone we see a lot of during NHL broadcasts. This guy has won a few awards and some giant trophy that has his name engraved on it. His name is Sidney Crosby. Sid the Kid seems to always end up on my television, and believe me, I hate that.

Now I am not here to write about how Gary Bettman has a huge man crush on Sidney. I really cannot judge people for man crushes as we all know that I have a huge man crush on Chris Pronger (and this goes back to his days with St. Louis, so yeah, I've always loved those amazing elbows). (Jaye from PKLC and Jason from DWYDN are probably thinking 'oh god, here he goes again')

Anyway, onto looking at possible problems with the psychological state of Mr. (or Ms) Crosby we see quite a few possibly things that could be wrong. I've come up with several possible diagnoses and I happen to be prepared to present my findings.

Now, I'm looking at a category of psychological illnesses called the Somatoform Disorders. What are they, well I'm looking at two diseases known to most people as Münchhausen's Syndrome and Conversion Disorder. Also, on the list of things to look at is Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Now, many Philadelphia fans have questioned Sidney Crosby's gender identification and sexual orientation. I am NOT here to talk about that as they are not any kind of psychological disorder. If Sidney wants to live as a woman, that's his choice and there are plenty specialists who can help him with those issues.
(Editor's Note: Both Matt and Amy of DGS are huge supporters of LGBT rights and same-sex marriage in the USA)


Münchhausen's Syndrome: This condition is characterized by frequent usage of faking injuries and illnesses in order to gain the attention of others. Sidney's embellishment and love of diving is definitely falls under faking injuries. However, there seems to be one problem, someone with this condition would frequently miss time in order to get these injuries treated. Since he doesn't seem to always be running to the training staff and because Crosby has a habit of popping right up after a hook or a trip is called so, he doesn't seem to have this condition.

Conversion Disorder: Conversion Disorder is a psychiatric condition that shows itself by the patient feeling intense amounts of pain when a mild stimulus is presented. This would explain why Crosby dives and cries every time someone looks at him the wrong way. This disorder is not physical in nature, rather, the reason the for the excessive pain is usually emotional in nature. This emotional pain comes from a lack of self-esteem.





Pretty sure there's some legit reasons to feel sad their. Sid wants to be loved, and appreciated, but he's in the wrong sport.

This just in, the DGS SuperSpies apparently were in a church sitting next to Crosby as he prayed, and apparently it went something like this:

"Dear God, My name's Sidney, and I've won a Stanley Cup but these people seem to think that I absolutely suck."

At this point, there was a white light, and the heavens opened up and gold himself was standing before Crosby, and he replied, "Well, Cindy"
Crosby went, "But my names Sidney"
god said, "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS"


Histrionic Personality Disorder: This one also seems like Sid. It's characterized by sexually provocative behavior, (his reciprocation of Bettman's man crush, love of himself and Malkin, and this.) Exaggeration of emotional states (all the whining) and physical responses (all the diving). Come to think of it, Sidney Crosby is the textbook definition of this condition. One more thing, fun fact of HPD: almost 90% of people who have it are of the female gender. Interpret that as you wish.
(Editor's Note: We're not saying Crosby is a woman, we're just reporting a fact about the condition we were discussing, it's up to you to do what you want with that.)



I think it's safe to say, no matter what he has, I think that Crosby Sucks.

(Editor's Note: Sucks is defined as, being someone we have absolutely no respect for because the player in question is a total d-bag. Crosby's on ice stats are, impressive but inflated due to the coddling of referees.)

Seriously though, the treatment is to get Crosby to overthrow Bettman and insert a commissioner who won't stand for the dives. Sound like a plan? Who's with me?

Hockey versus Baseball

So my blogging idol, Down Goes Brown, has done comparisons between Soccer and Hockey, Football and Hockey and Basketball and Hockey, but I didn't see any baseball on his list. (God help me if I'm wrong.)

Well, we here at Down Goes Spezza have decided to come up with a comparison between hockey and baseball for the good of helping hockey fans everywhere understand it. The reason for this is most likely you'll be forced to watch the MLB playoffs in October instead of opening night because well, the NHL doesn't have a tv deal with a normal channel yet.



MLB: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Jim Joyce.
NHL: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Kerry Fraser, Stephane Auger, video goal judges in Pittsburgh, Gary Bettman and just about every other official in the game.


MLB: Players who violate rules are suspended according to strict guidelines such as 50 games for a positve PEDs test, and 10 games for using corked bats.
NHL: Players are suspended according to usage of a super secret flowchart. (At what point does Down Goes Brown decide to sue me?).

MLB: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as Triple-A.
NHL: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as the Calgary Flames.

MLB: Players have been known to embellish being hit by a pitch in order to get first base. (see Derek Jeter)
NHL: Players have been known to embellish being hit by high sticks or tripped in order to get a 2 minute Powerplay for their team. (see: Dan Carcillo, Max Lapierre, Sidney Crosby, Matt Bradley, Sean Avery).

MLB: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in dirty slides and players throwing at each other.
NHL: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in concussions after a Chris Pronger elbow to the skull.

MLB: Players with major weight issues have been known to throw perfect games.
NHL: Players with major weight issues have been known to become internet memes.


MLB: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of a salary cap.
NHL: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of enforcement of the salary cap. (DGB's urge to sure is rising...if he actually reads my blog).

MLB: Players can score from 2nd base, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly hit ball by a stroke of luck known as a seeing-eye hit.
NHL: Players can score from a the defensive zone, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly shot puck by shooting against Vesa Toskala. (If DGB hasn't decided to sue me yet, he sure will now)

MLB: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to steroid use and lying about it to the US Congress
NHL: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to dealing with shady Belorussian mobsters.

MLB: Players on bad teams such as the Florida Marlins also have to worry about horribly hot weather as well as hurricanes.
NHL: Players on bad teams such as the Edmonton Oilers still have to spend winters in chilly frozen ICY HELL Edmonton.

MLB: Players have been known to have shards of wood embedded in their chests from broken equipment
NHL: Players have been known to have their throats cut by equipment in perfect working order.

MLB: Big name players like Carl Pavano have been known to sign in New York and never play a game due to injury.
NHL: Big name players like Rick DiPietro have been known to be drafted by New York and never play a game due to injury.


MLB: Teams from Canada haven't won a championship since 1993
NHL: Same (Now, with lawsuits.)

NHL 2010-2011 Season Preview: Atlantic Division

I saved the best for last, the Atlantic Division. How are things gonna shape up here, DGS has the answers.

Pittsburgh Penguins

The Good: Max Talbot will be able to pick out every douche in the NHL and deliver a list of them to us.

The Bad: After Crosby and Malkin, the Penguins severely lack forward talent capable of scoring 120 points a season.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will be coddled by Gary Bettman's permanent man crush on Cindy Crosby

New York Islanders

The Good: Will have a guaranteed top 5 pick in the NHL draft due to playing 24 games against the Flyers, Penguins, Rangers and Devils all of which the Islanders will lose.

The Bad: Will run out of get well cards for Rick DiPietro by November.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Hope the Democrats are able to push universal health care in the United States through in order to save on medical bills for DiPietro

New York Rangers

The Good: Will in fact win all 6 games against the Islanders due to the fact that they have Martin Biron.

The Bad: Will at some point sign Kyle Wellwood to a Redden-like contract.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Hope to every divine being known the man that Gaborik can avoid Dan Carcillo.

New Jersey Devils

The Good:

Signed shot blocking specialist Anton Volchenkov to throw his body in the way of any jars of jelly that Lou decides to throw.

The Bad: Have fallen victim to the fact that apparently the CBA matters.

Secret Strategy for the New Season:

Will fatten Brodeur up to the point where he covers the entire net even if pad free.

Philadelphia Flyers

The Good: Filled the "Craptastic Defensemen" void left by the departure of Ryan Parent with Andrej "Big Mesz" Meszaros.

The Bad: Now have to face the defending Stanley Cup champions in 4 rematches as the Hawks now play in the Eastern Conference

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Have infinite hope in the idea that opposing shooters will never hit the net as they die laughing from realizing what the Flyers goaltending quality is.

An Open Letter: Arron Asham

In the words of FlyersBuzzTap's Tweet: "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to dust, Arron Asham, you're dead to us"

(Notice the correct use of citations via the link)

Anyway, the peeps of DGS have decided to write Asham an open letter telling him how we feel about this; so here goes...

Dear Mr. Asham,

I guess we shouldn't be surprised that you'd jump right to the enemy. Arguably it wasn't your fault. But it sure seems like you recently have had a habit of fucking over your previous employers. Hell you went from the Islanders, to the Devils to the Flyers to the Penguins...guess this means you plan on being Whore-vechkin's bodyguard in 2011-2012 doesn't it? Seriously, show some fucking loyalty. The fans of Philadelphia embraced you, and of 700K is all you wanted, I'm pretty sure even Paul Holmgren could have found the money to sign you.

I'd wish you luck in your future endeavors but in reality, the only thing I should be doing is wishing the fans of Penguins luck when you show up in 2011-12 wearing a Capitals uniform.

I mean, the only place I law less loyalty is how Dallas handled Mike Modano, and that's saying something.

On the other hand, you're a great reminder of NHL94, you occasionally sneak slapshots by unsuspecting goalies and have this one deke move that you used to out maneuver Mike Green and Jose Theodore in 2009. Honestly, that's not much of a accomplishment, going around a forward then beating Steve Penney with a wrist shot isn't much to be proud of. But hey, that's all your good at.

Thanks for the memories, you're gonna forget them all when Pronger's elbow meets your skull.

Down Goes Spezza and the Orange Nation

The NHL's RDO Camp 2010: Rule Changes You Weren't Told About

So as we all know, the NHL just recently looked at possible rule changes at the RDO camp, well the DGS SuperSpies recently uncovered some other possible rule changes that were NOT tested at the RDO Camp. In the interest of public knowledge and full disclosure we're posting the list here for you to see.

• After trying out 4 on 4, 3 on 3 and 2 on 2 overtimes, 1 on 1 and 0 on 0 were tried as well.
  
  
  
• Goalie's were asked to go pad free, to avoid any debates as to whether pads were too big
  
  
• New shootout format featuring empty nets. (NHL could just force all shooters to shoot on Vesa Toskala during the season to make this work)
  
  
• Players were asked to play a 60 minute game officiated by Stephane Auger where the rules were applied fairly and consistently
  
  
• Players wearing 87 for the Penguins were now called for diving
  
  
• Games could now be canceled in favor of just a shootout
  
  
• Teams on the PK would have the play goalie free and all penalties would last assigned length regardless of how many goals were scored. (note, Bettman still thinks the NHL would lack scoring with this rule)
  
  
• Players were also forced to dress/change/shower in front of life sized posters of Pierre McGuire in order to prepare them for the experience of being interviewed by him after they get drafted.
  
  
• In order to foster more scoring, pucks now entering the crease count as a goal, and pucks entering the back of the net count as 2 goals.
  
  
• Defenseman throwing body checks in the defensive zone will now be called for a 2 minute penalty for "not allowing scoring chances"
  
  
• Goalies who cover the puck in the goal crease are now subject to a "delay of game penalty"
  
  
• Goalies can no longer leave crease to play puck or make saves.
  
  
• Players were also taught to have sophomore slumps that make Steve Mason's look non-existent.
  

Flyers 2010 Eulogy: A season to remember

As DGB and Bloge Salming did for the Habs, I will eulogize the Flyers. Here we go.


Philadelphia Flyers Eulogy 2010

Flyers Season 09-10 Campaign:
Born October 1, 2009
Died June 9, 2010

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to remember, or possibly forget, a season that was magical, and sucktastic, all at the same time.
We had our ups, trading for Chris Pronger, signing Ray Emery, beating the Rangers in a shootout to earn a playoff birth, spotting the Bruins 3 game and 3 goal leads before crushing their dreams and aiding and abetting riots on the streets of Montreal, having Lavi call the perfect timouts, losing Stevens, Danny Briere and Ville Leino’s post season play, and Dan Carcillo meeting Marian Gaborik for the first time

Word Just In: Montreal riots would have happened anyway…

Then there were the downs: Having to look at Sidney Crosby, listening to Pierre McGuire during the Finals on tv, wondering what happened to the offense, losing Stevens, the regular season play of Leino and Briere, seeing Rick Tocchet on my TV.

And of course, the downright wacky: the goaltender situations…Emery, Boucher, Leighton, Backlund, Duchesne, will be remembered for getting onto the ice, while, Hutton, Caron and Teslak will be remembered for dressing, Pittsburgh’s video guy not sending in the goal, Stephane Auger getting Carcillo, Pronger waving at Eager, Leighton tossing 3 SOs against the Habs, Lavi magically turning games around with a timeout, Chris Pronger stealing pucks and Dan Carcillo flopping around like a fish out water, Cindy Crosby.
But with all that said, it doesn’t surprise me that the Flyers bowed out the way they did. Coming so close, teasing us the whole way with great comebacks and pulling miracles out of helmet-masks. I guess it’s time to talk about some of the memorable moments from birth to death of this season. So without further ado, let’s run down [DAMMIT CARCILLO, NOT THAT WAY!] the biggest moments of the season.

Opening Night:
To be honest I didn’t know what to expect, I knew we had Pronger on D and that made me happy. We had Ray Emery in net, a huge risk and a backup in Boucher which I thought was a huge mistake. Razor had a shutout to open the season and I was happy.
And then it unraveled rather quickly, December rolled around and Stevens was out. Hartnell was sucking, Emery got hurt and Boucher sucked a lot. But then Leighton was claimed on waivers and I felt like the towel was tossed in on this year.
Boucher went down and there was Leighton and, he’s not bad…he’s winning…WE HAVE A GOALIE! Leighton is here to save us all…and OH MY GOD HE’S DEAD! Err…crippled. NO! NO! NO! NOT BOUCHER! Please NOT BOUCHER! Give us Backlund please! Hell, give us Toskala…wait, I’m not gonna say things that I cannot take back. Granted, I think Toskala had a higher save percentage than Jeremy Duchesne...so...but Duchesne stopped every shot from over 150ft.

The ultimate highlight...what if Broad St didn't fight back?




Humor aside, it was a great year, and to everyone else, I leave this season with a few questions.

1. What if Carter didn’t have 2 broken feet during the post season?
2. What if Gagne didn’t have 2 broken toes during the post season?
3. What if the goalies were healthy?

Fact is, we’ll be back next year. BACK WITH A VENGEANCE! LOOK OUT NHL, Flyers will win it all in 2010, and starting next week, I will explain why.

NHL Conference Finals Previews

Since Down Goes Spezza seems to have a mind crazy enough to work in these playoffs. We, the DGS brains, have decided that we are going to sort out this mess

Up first, we have the Western Conference Finals

#2 Chicago and #1 San Jose

San Jose Sharks

Pro: Have dynamic forwards such as Thornton, Heatley, Setoguchi and Marleau who can take over a game and own it.
Con: All of whom are due for their annual postseason choke job.

Pro: Have an experienced goalie in Evgeni Nabokov who played for Team Russia in the Olympics.
Con: And when the going got tough, he choked like the rest of the Sharks

Pro: This year's NHL playoff theme is "History will be made" which is possibly a sign that the Sharks will not choke for a change.
Con: This year's NHL playoff theme is "History will be made" which is possibly a sign that the Sharks will choke in a way so epic that the Bruins won't be remembered as the biggest chokers in 2010.




Chicago Black Hawks

Pro: Have a really versatile player in Dustin Byfuglien who can turn around a game as a shut down defense-man or power forward
Con: May be unable to actually get to the games because of his role in the pizza crawl.

Pro: Have a great set of defense-man such as Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook and Brian Campbell.
Con: It's also possible that Brian Campbell's lack of a collarbone could be a problem.

Pro: Goalie Antti Niemmi has a habit of swallowing pucks and keeping them out of the net.
Con: Of course, sometimes he also loses them altogether.


-Analysis-

Real simple, Sharks choke, and Hawks in 6

#7 Flyers and #8 Canadiens

Flyers

Pro: Totally own the size advantage over them midget Habs forwards
Con: Totally might have issues getting a puck past Halak.

Pro: Will get a momentum lift by getting Jeff Carter back from injury.
Con: Per league rules, will have a goaltender go down to injury as well.

Pro: Mike Leighton is amazing
Con: Mike Leighton has never been this far in the postseason before.




Habs

Pro: Have a set of skilled forwards who can turn a game around.
Con: They're still tiny!

Pro: Halak is an amazing goalie on a Cinderella run.
Con: Look how it turned out for him in the Olympics

Pro: Have shut down Ovechkin and Crosby and Malkin, the 3 best players in the league offensively.
Con: Never had to stop an attack as balanced as the Flyers.


-Analysis-

The Flyers are far too balanced to get downed by the Habs, Flyers in 6. Montreal still riots anyway.

Round 2 Habs at Pens Game 7 Preview

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, the Blogosphere proudly brings to you, it's Best Game 7 Prediction Formula in the WORLD! The Insane One, his lovely girlfriend, they are DOWN GOES SPEZZA! And if you are not, down with that...

ahem,

Anyway, we have another Game 7 coming up tomorrow, and we here at Down Goes Spezza have predictions and analysis as only we can deliver.

Montreal at Pittsburgh


Same formula as before, Pros and Cons for each team followed by a prediction.


Habs:

Pro: Gave one of the 2 Hot 2 Handle AO sticks to Michael Cammalleri which allowed him to light up the Penguins this post-season.
Con: Stick may have been used to start bonfires in post game 6 riots.

Pro: Maxim Lapierre puts a new meaning in the term hometown hero.
Con: Maxim Lapierre may have dove too far down to help again.

Pro: Jaroslav Halak is a solid goalie bringing his total underdog team ever closer to the promised land.
Con: Look how it turned out for him in the Olympics.




Penguins:

Con: Have a roster stacked with top 5 draft picks stockpiled from a tank job in the early 2000s
Con: May need to restock roster with more top 5 draft picks from a tank job to begin the new decade.

Pro: Sidney Crosby recently found his lost scoring touch which helped keep the Pens competitive in Game 6
Con: Sidney Crosby has a habit of punching guys down under which could lead to Hal Gill removing Crosby from the game.

Pro: Are the top seeded team remaining in the east.
Con: We saw how top seeded Washington fared in the first round.


-Analysis-

I think it's safe to say that Halak has one more miracle in him before choking out in the next series. I'll even put a score down for this one: Habs 3 Pens 2 in OT.

Why Dan Carcillo No Longer Kicks Ass

Dan Carcillo no longer kicks ass. There I said it. I will say it again just to prove that I have some intent of being serious. Dan Carcillo no longer kicks ass.

I have no problem with Carcillo attempting to draw penalties on the other team, I have no problems with him playing physical, getting involved and grinding it out all for the benefit of the team.

I have a problem with embellishment, I have a problem with diving.

The Wachovia Center is a no diving zone, just ask any Flyers fan about Sidney Crosby and you will learn that.

But, Dan Carcillo is just turning into someone, someone we all know and love...err hate, very much, and that someone is Sean Avery.

That's right, Dan Carcillo is now officially in Sean Avery territory....if you take out the whole making off color comments about women and possible racism and hatred of French-Canadians which we haven't seen from Carcillo just yet.

But that's OK because we here at Down Goes Spezza have an idea. See, Carcillo is an RFA at the end of the season, and that means, that he no longer needs to be a problem. Arron Asham is perfectly capable holding his own in fights and the Flyers can go out and get another Ian Laperriere type guy who can kill penalties and be physical.

If Carcillo is gone, it would be a positive for the Flyers, if he stays, hey, maybe this whole diving like Crosby thing can work out in our favor too, this could be a win-win. I hate divers, and that is why Carcillo no longer kicks ass.

Quick Predictions on the non-Flyers 2nd round Playoff Series

After going 50/50 in the Game 7s, we here at Down Goes Spezza have decided to take a look at the other playoff series. So, here we go.

Western Conference:

#1 San Jose vs. #5 Detroit

Quick Pick: San Jose drops the series in 6 games after a reporter accidentally walks up to Joe Thornton and asks him “how do you feel about these playoffs?”

#2 Chicago vs. #3 Vancouver

Quick Pick: Vancouver pulls this one out in 7 after Niemi accidentally swallows another puck only to drop it into his own net.

Eastern Conference

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #8 Montreal

Quick Pick: Jaroslav Halak continues to be red hot and the Habs D continues to shut down. Stephane Auger decides that it’s time to “get” Crosby the Crybaby and therefore it’s Habs in 7. By get, we mean actually call Crosby for Diving

#7 Flyers vs. #6 Boston

Tomorrow’s post will give a detailed analysis of this series.