Yes that's right, another song parody. (Sing to Angels We Have Heard On High..which means...sing the chorus right in your mind when reading this). Long story short, we're rolling this song because of the Flyers amazing 3-2 victory over the Penguins to end their 12 game winning streak.
"Dive and Cry"
Crosby starts to whine and cry
After someone looks his way
And the ref gives a reply
A minor sends him away
Dive and Cry
Bettman looks the other way
Dive and Cry
Campbell looks the other way
Ovi slewfoots like a douche
After someone turns their back
And Bettman has no clue
Because he is such a quack
Board and spear
Bettman looks the other way
Board and spear
Campbell looks the other way
Subban is a whiny bitch
Always running his big mouth
And now digging his own ditch
Mike Richards will punch him out
Drop the gloves
PK gets what he deserves
Drop the gloves
Midgets cannot save his ass
Patrick likes to sip the wine
Then punch out the cabbie
Something tells me he's not fine
Hangovers are really crappy
Drink the booze
Kane soon will pass out again
Drink the booze
Kane is super drunk again
Showing posts with label Holiday Party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holiday Party. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Deck the Faces! (Jody Shelley)
You know, for all the fights and majors and having a face that looks like it's been pummeled by a hammer, Jody Shelley is one jolly dude around the holidays. Like many before him, he wrote his own* Christmas carol for DGS.
(*- Jody Shelley didn't actually write this, DGS did, but we think that Shelley would approve)
Deck his face with fists of Shelley
Fa la la la la, la la la la
See the replay on the tele
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Drop we now our gloves and helmets
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Now we sit for 5 minutes
Fa la la la la, la la la la
See the magic fists a blazing
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Shelley's fights are amazing
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Follow all his acts of violence
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Then you sit and cry in silence
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Watch him try to shoot on net
Fa la la la la, la la la la
(*- Jody Shelley didn't actually write this, DGS did, but we think that Shelley would approve)
Deck his face with fists of Shelley
Fa la la la la, la la la la
See the replay on the tele
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Drop we now our gloves and helmets
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Now we sit for 5 minutes
Fa la la la la, la la la la
See the magic fists a blazing
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Shelley's fights are amazing
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Follow all his acts of violence
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Then you sit and cry in silence
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Watch him try to shoot on net
Fa la la la la, la la la la
It's something that we'll forget
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Shelley likes to drop his gloves
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Shelley says, "Let's fighting love"
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Shelley likes to drop his gloves
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Shelley says, "Let's fighting love"
Monday, December 13, 2010
Oh Come All Ye ToskaLOLs
Ever wondered what the NHL is singing around the holidays, yeah, we've been finding out for you. Here's another one.
Oh come all ye grinders
defensemen and enforcers
Oh come ye, oh come ye
To Toskala
Come and score on him
He of the pretend glove hand
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
He really sucks
Oh come all non-scorers
Kovalchuk and Davison
Oh come ye, oh come ye
To Toskala
Come and score on him
He'll put the puck in his own net
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
He really sucks
Oh toss all the waffles
With or without syrup
Oh toss them, oh toss them
At Maple Leafs
Come and laugh at them
Because they have no draft picks
Oh come give them a draft pick
Oh come give them a draft pick
Oh come give them a draft pick
Then fire Wilson
Oh trade all ye draft picks
To the Boston Bruins
Oh trade them, oh trade them
For nothing good
Raycroft for Rask
Still makes Leaf fans weep in shame
Oh fuck you JFJ
Oh fuck you JFJ
Oh fuck you JFJ
I hate you.
(Editor's Note: On a slightly more serious note: I feel the need to share this following open letter to Leafs fans because DGS-Cares)
Dear Leafs Nation,
Look, it's not going well right now. It's pretty bad. But if you put down the bottle of Jack Daniel's for a second and read this letter, there is some hope. DGS is psychologist (in training) and he's willing to offer free therapy to any Leafs fan who needs it. Just send your problems to DownGoesSpezza@gmail.com and I'll answer them publicly as part of my "DGS-Cares" campaign. I have a soft spot for you guys because, well, I hate Jason Spezza, and I hate the Habs. So this is my way of saying, Happy Holidays Leafs Nation.
-Down Goes Spezza
PS: Don't worry Flyerdom, you guys are getting your Christmas letter on Christmas Eve.
Oh come all ye grinders
defensemen and enforcers
Oh come ye, oh come ye
To Toskala
Come and score on him
He of the pretend glove hand
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
He really sucks
Oh come all non-scorers
Kovalchuk and Davison
Oh come ye, oh come ye
To Toskala
Come and score on him
He'll put the puck in his own net
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
Oh come score on ToskaLOL
He really sucks
Oh toss all the waffles
With or without syrup
Oh toss them, oh toss them
At Maple Leafs
Come and laugh at them
Because they have no draft picks
Oh come give them a draft pick
Oh come give them a draft pick
Oh come give them a draft pick
Then fire Wilson
Oh trade all ye draft picks
To the Boston Bruins
Oh trade them, oh trade them
For nothing good
Raycroft for Rask
Still makes Leaf fans weep in shame
Oh fuck you JFJ
Oh fuck you JFJ
Oh fuck you JFJ
I hate you.
(Editor's Note: On a slightly more serious note: I feel the need to share this following open letter to Leafs fans because DGS-Cares)
Dear Leafs Nation,
Look, it's not going well right now. It's pretty bad. But if you put down the bottle of Jack Daniel's for a second and read this letter, there is some hope. DGS is psychologist (in training) and he's willing to offer free therapy to any Leafs fan who needs it. Just send your problems to DownGoesSpezza@gmail.com and I'll answer them publicly as part of my "DGS-Cares" campaign. I have a soft spot for you guys because, well, I hate Jason Spezza, and I hate the Habs. So this is my way of saying, Happy Holidays Leafs Nation.
-Down Goes Spezza
PS: Don't worry Flyerdom, you guys are getting your Christmas letter on Christmas Eve.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Silent Night (Flyers Christmas Version)
And they just keep on coming. This time, we talked to Claude Giroux about his favourite Christmas song. He started singing, and this is what we got.
Silent night, shootout night
I am calm, I shoot right
Come skate in on goalie's blocker side
Make my move and never shoot wide
Score on heavenly dekes
Score on heavenly dekes
Silent night, Shootout night
All is calm, my stick is light
This goalie thinks that he has a chance
Nevermind he's just wet his pants
Used my orgasmic deke
Used my orgasmic deke
Silent night, shootout night
Start to skate on ice so white
Unique dekes make goalies sad
And his team feels really bad
Lost the game, has the other team
Lost the game, has the other team
Silent night, shootout night
Cures I have for every plight
Skate on in and deke to score
Oh I know, ya'll want to see more
Blame it on grilled cheese
Blame it on grilled cheese
Silent night, shootout night
I am calm, I shoot right
Come skate in on goalie's blocker side
Make my move and never shoot wide
Score on heavenly dekes
Score on heavenly dekes
Silent night, Shootout night
All is calm, my stick is light
This goalie thinks that he has a chance
Nevermind he's just wet his pants
Used my orgasmic deke
Used my orgasmic deke
Silent night, shootout night
Start to skate on ice so white
Unique dekes make goalies sad
And his team feels really bad
Lost the game, has the other team
Lost the game, has the other team
Silent night, shootout night
Cures I have for every plight
Skate on in and deke to score
Oh I know, ya'll want to see more
Blame it on grilled cheese
Blame it on grilled cheese
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Salo's Balls (Another Christmas Parody)
Yes it's a third song on my NHL-Christmas list. (Editor's Note: Amy took her hand to writing most of this one)
Shooting at the net, is a man named Duncan Keith
From this shot will come, Salo's hospital fees
Balls on Salo ring
Making Sami cry
What luck it is to nearly die
On the rink tonight
O Salo's balls, Salo's balls
Salo's hurt again
O how bad it is to be
A man with Sami's luck
O Salo's balls, Salo's balls
Salo's hurt again
O how bad it is to be
A man with Sami's luck
Author's Note: I wanted to write a second verse, but Salo got hurt again.
From this shot will come, Salo's hospital fees
Balls on Salo ring
Making Sami cry
What luck it is to nearly die
On the rink tonight
O Salo's balls, Salo's balls
Salo's hurt again
O how bad it is to be
A man with Sami's luck
O Salo's balls, Salo's balls
Salo's hurt again
O how bad it is to be
A man with Sami's luck
Author's Note: I wanted to write a second verse, but Salo got hurt again.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Joy to the Bob
Like my previous post, on Chris Pronger, we're continuing the posts on the Flyers Christmas Carols, today, we're hitting up Sergei Bobrovsky for "Joy to the Bob"
Joy to the Bob, he stopped the puck
His glove received the shot
Let every team
Prepare to lose
And Richards lifts the Cup
And Richards lifts the Cup
And Richards, then Pronger will lift the Cup
Joy to the Bob, the Flyers reign
The puck bounced off his pads
Through shots and screens
The saves were made
And Crosby starts to cry
And Crosby starts to cry
And Crosby will whine and cry
No more soft goals, or five holes unclosed
The fans will never boo
Bob comes to save, the fans are safe
The goalie has been found
The goalie has been found
The goalie, Czar Sergei, has been found
Joy to the Bob, he stopped the puck
His glove received the shot
Let every team
Prepare to lose
And Richards lifts the Cup
And Richards lifts the Cup
And Richards, then Pronger will lift the Cup
Joy to the Bob, the Flyers reign
The puck bounced off his pads
Through shots and screens
The saves were made
And Crosby starts to cry
And Crosby starts to cry
And Crosby will whine and cry
No more soft goals, or five holes unclosed
The fans will never boo
Bob comes to save, the fans are safe
The goalie has been found
The goalie has been found
The goalie, Czar Sergei, has been found
Thursday, December 9, 2010
12 Days Of Pronger
Have you ever wondered what carols Flyers fans sing around Christmas? DGS-SuperSpies have found what songs play at team meetings during the holiday season. As a service to Flyers fans everywhere, I've posted the lyrics that the DGS-SuperSpies have found.
(Editor's Note: We're pretty sure this first one isn't a Flyers Carol but rather...well...you'll see)
On the 1st day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me,
A Stanley Cup Finals victory
5 vicious spears
The 12 Days of Christmas (Chris Pronger mix)
On the 1st day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me,
A Stanley Cup Finals victory
On the 2nd day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 3rd day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 4th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 5th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 6th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
6 elbows elbowing
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 7th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
7 pills a popping
6 elbows elbowing
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 8th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
8 pucks a stealing
7 pills a popping
6 elbows elbowing
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 9th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
9 legs a clipping
8 pucks a stealing
7 pills a popping
6 elbows elbowing
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 10th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
10 sticks a slashing
9 legs a clipping
8 pucks a stealing
7 pills a popping
6 elbows elbowing
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 11th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
11 skates stomping
10 sticks a slashing
9 legs a clipping
8 pucks a stealing
7 pills a popping
6 elbows elbowing
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
On the 12th day of Christmas Chris Pronger gave to me
12 forwards ducking
11 skates stomping
10 sticks a slashing
9 legs a clipping
8 pucks a stealing
7 pills a popping
6 elbows elbowing
5 vicious spears
4 gloves dropping
3 jokes amazing
2 heads smashing
And a Stanley Cup Finals Victory
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
What The Flyers Want For Christmas
Hey, it's getting close to Christmas and you know what that means. It's that time where people start making their lists of what they want. Needless to say the DGS SuperSpies were able to get a list of what some of the Flyers want for Christmas. In hopes that the gifts are received by the team, we've posted the list here for you to see.
Chris Pronger: I'm kinda hoping he's asking for me, but more realistically it's probably targets for his elbows to hit.
Peter Laviollette: A working power play unit.
Ville Leino: A new contract.
Claude Giroux: More grilled cheese sandwiches
Daniel Carcillo: That Nikolay Zherdev keeps being Nikolay Zherdev.
Sergei Bobrovsky: Getting a shutout, hopefully in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals
Brian Boucher: Employment, anywhere, just not in Russia
Eric Wellwood: To NOT become Kyle Wellwood
Nikolay Zherdev: Judging by his recent performances, I'd say he would like to learn how to pass
Mike Richards: PK Subban's head on a platter
Jeff Carter: Lisa Hartnell...wait no..sorry...Jeff wouldn't be asking for something he has...Jeff Carter wants the ability to not go high and wide
Scott Hartnell: Lisa Hartnell
Paul Holmgren: The ability to do math.
Darroll Powe: More time hanging out with guys like Max Lapierre.
Chris Pronger: I'm kinda hoping he's asking for me, but more realistically it's probably targets for his elbows to hit.
Peter Laviollette: A working power play unit.
Ville Leino: A new contract.
Claude Giroux: More grilled cheese sandwiches
Daniel Carcillo: That Nikolay Zherdev keeps being Nikolay Zherdev.
Sergei Bobrovsky: Getting a shutout, hopefully in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals
Brian Boucher: Employment, anywhere, just not in Russia
Eric Wellwood: To NOT become Kyle Wellwood
Nikolay Zherdev: Judging by his recent performances, I'd say he would like to learn how to pass
Mike Richards: PK Subban's head on a platter
Jeff Carter: Lisa Hartnell...wait no..sorry...Jeff wouldn't be asking for something he has...Jeff Carter wants the ability to not go high and wide
Scott Hartnell: Lisa Hartnell
Paul Holmgren: The ability to do math.
Darroll Powe: More time hanging out with guys like Max Lapierre.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)