Previewing the Second Round Matchups

Just like we did for the first round, it's time to preview the other playoff series that don't involve the Flyers. So here we go.

-Western Conference-

#5 Nashville vs #1 Vancouver

How They Got Here: Nashville shot and killed a Duck, Vancouver tossed a Monkey off their back.
What to look for: Will Shea Weber's beard destroy Roberto Luongo?
Who moves on: The Predators


#2 San Jose vs #3 Detroit

How They Got Here: San Jose committed regicide, the Red Wings put some whiteout on the Coyotes

What to look for: Will Joe Thornton realize it's May BEFORE senility sets in on the Red Wings?

Who moves on: Kyle Wellwood disposes of the octopus by making calamari and eating: Sharks move on again.

-Eastern Conference-

#1 Washington vs #5 Tampa Bay

How They Got Here: Washington defeated the Rangers, TBL eliminated the PenGOONs

What to look for: How many of DTV's ideas come true?

Who moves on: Gotta say WSH because TBL will pay for the injustice of keeping Crosby out of the NHL for 9 months?

The Flyers preview will come Saturday

The Western Conference Quarter Finals

I did this last year and I'm doing it again this year, previewing the Western Conference playoff series to make sure you know how to be with your NHL playoff bracket.


#1 Vancouver vs #8 Chicago

What you need to know about Vancouver: Roberto Luongo fears the United Center

What you need to know about Chicago: Patrick Kane's still drunk from June 2010

Who's gonna win?- Chelsea Dagger stabs the Canucks again, Chicago wins in 6







#2 San Jose vs #7 Los Angeles

What you need to know about San Jose: Joe Thornton hasn't been that it's playoff time yet.

What you need to know about Los Angeles: Terry Murray and John Stevens are running their bench

Who's gonna win? Gotta be San Jose, Thornton won't see a calendar...and do you REALLY think a team with John Stevens on their bench has a playoff run in them?





#3 Detroit vs #6 Winnipeg Hamilton Quebec City Phoenix

What you need to know about Detroit: Detroit's roster remembers playing in the NHL before the NHL was in Winnipeg...come to think of it, I'm pretty sure the Red Wings remember the last time the Ottawa Senators won a Stanley Cup

What you need to know about Phoenix: Biz-Nasty plays for them, which means this series will have the most interesting tweets.

Who's gonna win? Since there's obviously no such thing as hockey in Phoenix...Detroit wins


#4 Anaheim vs #5 Nashville

What you need to know about Anaheim: They have 5 star players, Getzlaf, Perry, Ryan, Selanne and Visnovsky...but they're goalie is Dan Ellis and his backup is the #DanEllisProblems

What you need to know about Nashville: They're goalie is kinda huge...and not like Tim Thomas or Marty Brodeur. Also, they have a defenseman with a giant slapshot...wait...huge goalie...D-man with a 104+MPH slapshot...are you SURE we're not talking about the Bruins? Apparently, yes,  I can confirm, Nashville has a hockey team...and Mike Fisher-Underwood plays for them. Ok, then...wow...learn something everyday.


Who's Gonna win? Nashville, because Dan Ellis will refuse to stop Shea Weber's slapshot.

Team Phobias in the Playoffs

We all know that hockey players are a superstitious bunch. They love their rituals like playoff beards, not saying that word that's apparently constantly said in Flyerdom etc... Anyway teams also have phobias for the playoffs as well. Being that DGS lives around hockey, and has the DGS-SuperSpies always watching, I've obtained a list of phobias that some players or teams have going into this post season.


The Vancouver Canucks fear:
Chelsea Dagger, Patrick Kane, Chelsea Dagger, Patrick Sharp, Chelsea Dagger, Jonathan Toews (and the fact that he's freaking creepy as hell), Chelsea Dagger, The Chicago Blackhawks, Chelsea Dagger, games in the United Center, Chelsea Dagger.

The San Jose Sharks fear:
Joe Thornton seeing a calendar

The Philadelphia Flyers fear:
Michael Leighton's god damn 5 hole being involved in a game, going on the Powerplay, having a playoff caliber goaile, Mike Richards being nice to the media after a loss, Nikolay Zherdev playing 'defense'.

The Chicago Blackhawks fear:
Patrick Kane in a bar, Jonathan Toews being exposed as a Vulcan Android, John Scott seeing ice time.

The Pittsburgh Penguins fear:
Brent Johnson thinking that his teammates play for NYI when Pens wear the blue sweaters, Matt Cooke missing a blindside hit on an opponent and taking out a teammate, being exposed as an AHL team without Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin

The Montreal Canadiens fear:
Tall people, stanchions, Zdeno Chara, nothing at all because someone's burning that city down.

The Boston Bruins fear:
Zdeno Chara's impending arrest in Montreal, Short people, leads involving the number 3

The Washington Capitals fear:
The first round of the playoffs, someone taking ice cream away from Boudreau, not being able to grab their sack.

The Detroit Red Wings fear:
Youth, Missing Nap Time, cuts to Social Security payouts.

The Anaheim Ducks fear:
Teemu Selanne remembering his age, Corey Perry deciding that he's bored with being awesome, Ryan Getzlaf growing hair.

The Phoenix Coyotes fear:
Being noticed, Losing BizNasty's twitter account again because without it- no one knows they exist.

The LA Kings fear:
Puns involving Jonathan Quick, Jarrett Stoll being switched for Jared Staal

The Tampa Bay Lighting fear:
Karma for the Matt Walker deal, Rick Tocchet and Brian Lawton returning, Dwayne Roloson forgetting to drink from the Fountain Of Youth every day, Steve Downie remembering he's Steve Downie, Steven Stamkos deciding that Joe Thornton is his playoff idol.

The Nashville Predators fear:
Carrie Underwood pulling Mike Fisher-Underwood off the team to help with her music career, Barry Trotz growing a neck, Shea Weber hitting a teammate with a slapshot, Ryan Suter becoming Ron Sutter.

Boosh's Secret Diary

(Editor's Note: Under the direction of PhillyGirl the DGS-SuperSpies managed to grab a hold of Brian Boucher's diary during the recent road trip...airport security just ain't that good)

January 3, 2011

Dear Diary –

Happy New Year! Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 34 years old – can you believe it? Seems like just yesterday I was carrying the Flyers in the 2000 playoffs and stabbing Bill Barber in the back after we had an epic collapse.

Lavvy gave me the start for my birthday against Detroit. Last time we won in Detroit, I was 14 years old. Amazing. So did we break that streak yesterday? You bet we did. Detroit was all over us in the first, but I held my ground and the team actually felt like scoring me some goals. I’ve got to find a way to keep this hot streak going because I think I nabbed the starting role from the Russian kid, finally. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to be “mentor” to this kid? He doesn’t understand a word I say. He just says “Bob.”

Steals my dance moves too!

Speaking of nabbing the role – this whole three goalies thing was not working out. There’s not enough room at practice – the media is freaking out over Bob and his lost confidence and Leights is crying in the corner at practice because he can’t have a net. How am I supposed to concentrate? The good news is I think my chances of staying the number one are pretty good since Bob can’t stop a beach ball lately and Homer just gave Leights a one-way ticket to Adirondack (don't cry Leights, I hear the weather there is beautiful this time of year). Plus, I made it in and out of Vancouver without Ryan Parent coming anywhere near me.

Next up: back-to-back games with the Devils. I own them. Life is good.

Until next time.

XOXO,

Boosh

NHL 2010-2011 Season Preview: Central Division

Today we pick up with part 5 of our series on NHL Training Camp previews. It's the Central Division, meaning that the Atlantic will be last. So here we go.

Detroit Red Wings

The Good: Will save money on team travel by being able to cash in AARP rewards on flights, hotels and team meals.
The Bad: Will at some point begin to act their age.
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Have decided that trading European MVPs to the Flyers for part time enforcing defensemen is a bad idea.

St. Louis Blues

The Good: Acquired playoff hero Jaroslav Halak from the Montreal Canadiens for next to nothing.
The Bad: Were not told that Jaroslav Halak is Slovak for Choke's in Second to Last Round.
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will undoubtedly be the best team in the NHL named after a genre of music.

Nashville Predators

The Good: Acquired familiar face Ryan Parent from the Flyers.
The Bad: Didn't realize that since Ryan Parent was traded to the Flyers from Nashville, he kinda started to suck.
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will hope opponents die laughing when Ryan Parent is forced to log 25 minutes a game as Shea Weber's defense partner.

Chicago Blackhawks

The Good: Are apparently the defending Stanley Cup Champions, which means that the team should be loaded with a roster of scoring forwards, competent defensemen and solid goaltending
The Bad: Apparently, Blackhawks management seemed to have forgotten about small things like the NHL salary cap.
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will sell Atlanta Thrashers jerseys and such at home games inspiring the city of Chicago to support the Blackhawks playoff heroes.

Columbus Blue Jackets

The Good: Should the team make the playoffs, RJ Umberger will light up Jaroslav Halak per the clause in his contract that states he owns anything that ever played for the Habs in the postseason.
The Bad: Seems that Steve Mason is a clone of Steve Penney.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Have acquired former Oilers Captain Ethan Moreau, who will play far above any level played before out of sheer relief that he longer plays in Edmonton.

Game 7 Preview: Flyers at Bruins

Two weeks ago, when this series started, I was fairly confident I would be writing this post.

One week ago, when the Flyers were down 3-0, I was ready to toss this post in the garbage.

Now, I have to write it.


Flyers at Bruins game 7, and Down Goes Spezza has all you need to know to pick a winner.

The DGS minds were 50/50 in round one game sevens...we already picked a winner in round 2, the odds are against us, but we will not back down, we will not quit.

DGS is so nervous, that humor may be hard to embrace for this post, but I will try anyway.



-Flyers-

Pro: Have Mike Leighton, statistically the Flyers best goalie during the season, in net for game 7
Con: Should Leighton go down, the next 2 goalies on the Flyers depth chart have about 55 minutes of NHL experience

Pro: Ville Leino is finally playing as advertised when the Flyers got him, BTW, thanks Red Wings Fans!
Con: Ville Leino sure seemed a little uneasy about scoring on countryman and friend, Tuukka Rask.

Pro: Dan Carcillo hasn't taken any dumb penalties this series, or post season for that matter.
Con: NHL record in PIMs...

-Bruins-

Pro: Only 3 teams in sports history have come back from being down 3-0
Con: The pattern of hockey for teams that came back from 0-3 to force a game 7 is lose-win-lose-win-lose...

Pro: Last time an 0-3 became a 3-3 involving a Boston sports team the Boston team came out on top
Con: Last time an 0-3 became a 3-3 involving a Boston sports team the 0-3 team won the series

Pro: Can take solace in the fact that Tim Thomas is available if Rask should need to be lifted.
Con: Rask is rustier than an old lead pipe.



-Final Analysis-

It's in Boston, but I like my team and their chances: Flyers 3, Boston 2

Quick Predictions on the non-Flyers 2nd round Playoff Series

After going 50/50 in the Game 7s, we here at Down Goes Spezza have decided to take a look at the other playoff series. So, here we go.

Western Conference:

#1 San Jose vs. #5 Detroit

Quick Pick: San Jose drops the series in 6 games after a reporter accidentally walks up to Joe Thornton and asks him “how do you feel about these playoffs?”

#2 Chicago vs. #3 Vancouver

Quick Pick: Vancouver pulls this one out in 7 after Niemi accidentally swallows another puck only to drop it into his own net.

Eastern Conference

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #8 Montreal

Quick Pick: Jaroslav Halak continues to be red hot and the Habs D continues to shut down. Stephane Auger decides that it’s time to “get” Crosby the Crybaby and therefore it’s Habs in 7. By get, we mean actually call Crosby for Diving

#7 Flyers vs. #6 Boston

Tomorrow’s post will give a detailed analysis of this series.

Some Thoughts on the Upcoming Game Sevens of the First Round

With the game seven’s upcoming I find it necessary to share my wisdom about Game 7’s. See, the idea that Game 7 can be won via home ice is kind of a myth, it’s basically one game, but without 50/50 odds. Luckily for you, we here at Down Goes Spezza have the ways to tell who’s going to win the first round Game 7’s. Up today is the Coyotes and Red Wings, tomorrow we have the Habs and Caps. So, here’s the low down on the Coyotes and Red Wings, look for a post tomorrow outlining the Habs and Caps.

Don’t worry, I won’t turn my back on that series, Ovechkin might run me into the boards if I do.

Red Wings at Coyotes

Red Wings Analysis:

Pro: Have a habit of winning playoff series

Con: May be curious to feel what it’s like to drop out in the first round for a change

Pro: Have a future Hall of Fame goaltender in Chris Osgood

Con: He isn’t starting

Pro: Had 9 Olympic caliber players on their roster

Con: None of whom won a gold medal

Coyotes Analysis:

Pro: Have a roster of unknowns which make scouting the team impossible

Con: Have a roster of unknowns makes it hard to find your teammates

Pro: Have a loyal fan base who partakes in the great “white out” tradition

Con: Have to play game 7 in one of the most hazardous cities in the USA as ice cannot survive in Phoenix, Arizona.

Pro: May be relaxed from enjoying the warm summer weather that Phoenix has.

Con: Team may need time to find a vacation spot before leaving Phoenix, welcome to Loser City.

Who’s going to win?

Real easy to see, the Coyotes have this one in the bag mainly because Gary Bettman loves it when failing small market southern teams in the USA come in and destroy powerful storied NHL franchises.