NHL 2010-2011 Season Previews: Pacific Division Edition

And welcome to part 2 of our season previews. Today we're going out west and looking at the Pacific Division:

Anaheim Ducks

The Good: Brought in resident NHL Expert Andy Sutton to handle difficult questions regarding elbows to the head which should help the Ducks deal with issues regarding the new blind side hits rule.

The Bad: Made the mistake of trading Chris Pronger back in 2009, preventing his elbows from being acquainted with Sutton's skull every single day.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will inject secret anti-aging cream into Teemu Selanne and convince him he's a rookie again, then hope for another 76 goals.

San Jose Sharks

The Good: Let go of playoff choker Evgeni Nabokov in favor of proven winner Antero Nittymaki.

The Bad: Just realized that Nittymaki is only ever guaranteed to beat the defending Stanley Cup champion Atlanta Thrashers.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will tell Nittymaki that every game is against the Thrashers.

Phoenix Coyotes

The Good: Found Lee Stempniak after an 18 month NHL absence.

The Bad: Seem to have forgotten to resign him.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will make the Colts and move to Winnipeg in the middle of the night some time.

Lo

s Angeles Kings

The Good: Finally developed a quality NHL starting goaltender.

The Bad: Forgot to call him from from the AHL, meaning Bernier is still riding a bus...

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will have to hope and pray that Kerry Fraser is replaced by someone who gives them nightly Gretzky-esque calls.

Dallas Stars

The Good: Will no longer be distracted by Mike Modano telling stories of playing a game that ended with him having his name engraved on a giant silver trophy.

The Bad: In keeping with Eastern Conference traditions, will lose every game against the Sharks where the goaltending matchup is Niitymaki vs Lehtonen

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Allow Adam Burish's simple mind to be amused by simple things, like sitting in the press box or going to the AHL.

NHL 2010-2011 Season Previews: Northeast Division

With the season coming up soon enough. I think it's time to get a look at what team's have been working on during training camp. Lucky for you, the DGS-SuperSpies uncovered what's going on behind the scenes at all 30 NHL team's training camps. As a responsible human being, I have decided to post the shocking findings here for you to see. Today, we start with the Northeast division.

Montreal Canadiens

The Good: Will save money on pregame meals by being able to serve forwards from the kids menu.

The Bad: Decided to follow an idea presented by Down Goes Brown during the first around of the playoffs and are apparently going to start "Empty Net" as their goalie.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Players have worked on riot escape in practice as Montreal citizens tend to riot after every game regardless of result.

Toronto Maple Leafs

The Good: Can avoid worrying about such debates as "Who to draft in 2011?" because of their lack of draft picks.

The Bad: Have yet to find a way to remove Tomas Kaberle from the team.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will magically improve forward depth by re-signing Vesa Toskala and converting him to center.

Boston Bruins

The Good: Due the NHL's Salary Cap, the Bruins roster is set in stone with players such as Tim Thomas and Marc Savard still on the active roster and no way to move them.

The Bad: Will be forced to place Marc Savard on LTIR after he accidentally runs into Zdeno Chara's knee during practice causing Savard to suffer a concussion.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will avoid blowing 3-0 leads in the post-season by avoiding the post season altogether.

Ottawa Senators

The Good: Have 2 great backup goaltenders who are great for 10-15 games a season

The Bad: Have a player married to Carrie Underwood, picking up Tony Romo's sloppy seconds has been known to cause problems.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: When in doubt, the fire the coach.

Buffalo Sabres

The Good:Have a GM who's willing to save players like Tomas Vanek from signing with Edmonton.

The Bad: Will no longer be able to score easy goals due to the fact that Vesa Toskala is no longer a goalie in this division.

Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will continue to fly under the radar and ride Ryan Miller for as long

This Left Feels Right: Wings that is

Today, we start looking at the Flyers wings. Like my pieces on goaltending, defense, and centers, we're gonna talk about the wings.


Dan Carcillo: Should be an effective player during the 4 minutes of time he gets to show his talents when not in the penalty box or serving a suspension. Should be traded at the deadline with the worst defensemen we have to the Maple Leafs for Luke Schenn, ala Downie/Eminger for Matt Carle.

Riley Cote: Unlike Brett Favre, I expect Riley to stay retired.

Claude Giroux: The little guy is gonna step up his game, finally bringing his playmaking skills to the regular season as well as the playoffs. If not, well, then he won't get a pick RFA payday at the end of the year.

Scott Hartnell: Hopefully will speed up due to the lack of resistance of the hair that he finally cut.

Ian Laperriere: Should find a clever way to break his face during the season even though he will be wearing a shield.

Ville Leino: If he's the 2nd coming of Gagne, then I will stop hating the Gagne trade, and replace it with great disdain.

Darroll Powe: Will hopefully be the new Arron Asham type player, in that he can score 10-12 goals, and hopefully be effective as a role player. Will kill penalties with a Betts-like effectiveness, no jokes here.

Jody Shelley: AHL Bus please, but will probably be a more expensive Cote. Hopefully he scores at the same pace with the Flyers, that he scored against the Flyers last year...then I won't totally hate him.*

Nik Zherdev: Back to Russia! Give me Simon!

James van Riemsdyk: Trade bait please? I'd deal him and Meszaros for Kaberle, too bad JFJ is no longer the Leafs GM.




*- Offer null and void if the guy gives me awesome fights.