Per Jeff Marek on Twitter earlier: CAL trades White and Sutter to CAR for Babchuk and Kostopolous.
Now, when the entire Sutter clan seems to run the Calgary Flames, one can only assume that the conversation between the Sutters to inform Drunk Sutter that he had been traded. So, the DGS Super Spies tracked down what happened and caught it on tape.
GM Sutter: Hey, look, you just got arrested for Patrick Kane-ing someone. I need to do something.
Drunk Sutter: But dad! and Uncle! I drink because you guys are running this team into the ice. We're falling faster than Sidney Crosby after someone breathes on him. This team has fallen harder than any victim of the Pronger elbow, it's more punishment to keep me here.
Coach Sutter: See, that's the thing, we all know it's worse to keep you here. Now, we've decided in the interest of fairness to do something kind of nice.
GM Sutter: We're NOT trading you to Edmonton. Be thankful we could have done that.
Drunk Sutter: So, where am I going?
Coach Sutter: Hurricanes.
GM Sutter: Yeah, see, this is good for us.
Coach Sutter: By sending you to Carolina, you can meet up with your cousin.
GM Sutter: See the idea being, we Sutters will begin massing power on both the SE and NW. Doing this we will SLOWLY begin to take over the NHL, and the world.
Coach Sutter: *EVIL LAUGH* you have done well, brother. Soon we shall rule the world! One family above all.
Drunk Sutter: So I'm gonna go pack my bags...see you later Dad...and uncle...(under his breath) they're the f*ck--g reason I drink...
Drunk Sutter then texted Hurricanes Sutter: "DUDE U were So RIGHT!!! Going Pat Kane on that cabbie got me traded, finally I'm outta that shithole called Calgary"
The reply: "Thank god, our dads are delusional aren't they, hope we dont turn in2 them when we get older"
Showing posts with label Flames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flames. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Hockey versus Baseball
So my blogging idol, Down Goes Brown, has done comparisons between Soccer and Hockey, Football and Hockey and Basketball and Hockey, but I didn't see any baseball on his list. (God help me if I'm wrong.)
Well, we here at Down Goes Spezza have decided to come up with a comparison between hockey and baseball for the good of helping hockey fans everywhere understand it. The reason for this is most likely you'll be forced to watch the MLB playoffs in October instead of opening night because well, the NHL doesn't have a tv deal with a normal channel yet.
MLB: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Jim Joyce.
NHL: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Kerry Fraser, Stephane Auger, video goal judges in Pittsburgh, Gary Bettman and just about every other official in the game.
MLB: Players who violate rules are suspended according to strict guidelines such as 50 games for a positve PEDs test, and 10 games for using corked bats.
NHL: Players are suspended according to usage of a super secret flowchart. (At what point does Down Goes Brown decide to sue me?).
MLB: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as Triple-A.
NHL: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as the Calgary Flames.
MLB: Players have been known to embellish being hit by a pitch in order to get first base. (see Derek Jeter)
NHL: Players have been known to embellish being hit by high sticks or tripped in order to get a 2 minute Powerplay for their team. (see: Dan Carcillo, Max Lapierre, Sidney Crosby, Matt Bradley, Sean Avery).
MLB: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in dirty slides and players throwing at each other.
NHL: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in concussions after a Chris Pronger elbow to the skull.
MLB: Players with major weight issues have been known to throw perfect games.
NHL: Players with major weight issues have been known to become internet memes.
MLB: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of a salary cap.
NHL: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of enforcement of the salary cap. (DGB's urge to sure is rising...if he actually reads my blog).
MLB: Players can score from 2nd base, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly hit ball by a stroke of luck known as a seeing-eye hit.
NHL: Players can score from a the defensive zone, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly shot puck by shooting against Vesa Toskala. (If DGB hasn't decided to sue me yet, he sure will now)
MLB: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to steroid use and lying about it to the US Congress
NHL: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to dealing with shady Belorussian mobsters.
MLB: Players on bad teams such as the Florida Marlins also have to worry about horribly hot weather as well as hurricanes.
NHL: Players on bad teams such as the Edmonton Oilers still have to spend winters inchilly frozen ICY HELL Edmonton.
MLB: Players have been known to have shards of wood embedded in their chests from broken equipment
NHL: Players have been known to have their throats cut by equipment in perfect working order.
MLB: Big name players like Carl Pavano have been known to sign in New York and never play a game due to injury.
NHL: Big name players like Rick DiPietro have been known to be drafted by New York and never play a game due to injury.
MLB: Teams from Canada haven't won a championship since 1993
NHL: Same (Now, with lawsuits.)
Well, we here at Down Goes Spezza have decided to come up with a comparison between hockey and baseball for the good of helping hockey fans everywhere understand it. The reason for this is most likely you'll be forced to watch the MLB playoffs in October instead of opening night because well, the NHL doesn't have a tv deal with a normal channel yet.
MLB: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Jim Joyce.
NHL: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Kerry Fraser, Stephane Auger, video goal judges in Pittsburgh, Gary Bettman and just about every other official in the game.
MLB: Players who violate rules are suspended according to strict guidelines such as 50 games for a positve PEDs test, and 10 games for using corked bats.
NHL: Players are suspended according to usage of a super secret flowchart. (At what point does Down Goes Brown decide to sue me?).
MLB: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as Triple-A.
NHL: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as the Calgary Flames.
MLB: Players have been known to embellish being hit by a pitch in order to get first base. (see Derek Jeter)
NHL: Players have been known to embellish being hit by high sticks or tripped in order to get a 2 minute Powerplay for their team. (see: Dan Carcillo, Max Lapierre, Sidney Crosby, Matt Bradley, Sean Avery).
MLB: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in dirty slides and players throwing at each other.
NHL: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in concussions after a Chris Pronger elbow to the skull.
MLB: Players with major weight issues have been known to throw perfect games.
NHL: Players with major weight issues have been known to become internet memes.
MLB: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of a salary cap.
NHL: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of enforcement of the salary cap. (DGB's urge to sure is rising...if he actually reads my blog).
MLB: Players can score from 2nd base, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly hit ball by a stroke of luck known as a seeing-eye hit.
NHL: Players can score from a the defensive zone, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly shot puck by shooting against Vesa Toskala. (If DGB hasn't decided to sue me yet, he sure will now)
MLB: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to steroid use and lying about it to the US Congress
NHL: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to dealing with shady Belorussian mobsters.
MLB: Players on bad teams such as the Florida Marlins also have to worry about horribly hot weather as well as hurricanes.
NHL: Players on bad teams such as the Edmonton Oilers still have to spend winters in
MLB: Players have been known to have shards of wood embedded in their chests from broken equipment
NHL: Players have been known to have their throats cut by equipment in perfect working order.
MLB: Big name players like Carl Pavano have been known to sign in New York and never play a game due to injury.
NHL: Big name players like Rick DiPietro have been known to be drafted by New York and never play a game due to injury.
MLB: Teams from Canada haven't won a championship since 1993
NHL: Same (Now, with lawsuits.)
Monday, September 6, 2010
NHL 2010-2011 Season Previews: Northwest Division
Now we're just chugging along here with out secret training camp previews. Up today, the Northwest division.
Calgary Flames
Vancouver Canucks
Colorado Avalanche
Minnesota Wild
Edmonton Oilers
The Good: The team's new acquisitions are already familiar with both the city and team as they all played for the Flames 3 years ago.
The Bad: The team's new acquisitions are dudes who PLAYED FOR THE FLAMES THREE YEARS AGO!
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will hope that this attempt at a tank job leads to Penguin-esque success.
Vancouver Canucks
The Good: Have an amazing player in Henrik Sedin and his twin Daniel as well too.
The Bad: Have a huge lockerroom void created by the loss of Kyle Wellwood.
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will bank on the success of a backup goalie NOT named Andrew Raycroft.
Colorado Avalanche
The Good: Have a solid core of young players who are now all due for their sophomore slumps at the same time.
The Bad: Will not be able to rely on Peter Forsberg returning in order to save them.
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Hope that Peter Budaj is actually Czech for Patrick Roy.
Minnesota Wild
The Good: Have a guy named Nicklas Backstrom on their team, and if what google tells me is true, then Nicklas Backstrom is a 80 point guy which makes him the perfect pair for Mikko "Numbers Don't Matter" Koivu on the top line
The Bad: Just realized that they have the OTHER Nicklas Backstrom and that numbers do matter.
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Will run on the hope that no one notices their existence again.
Edmonton Oilers
The Good: #1 Overall pick Taylor Hall has yet to demand a trade out of Edmonton
The Bad: #1 Overall pick Taylor Hall is getting closer to demanding a trade out of Edmonton
Secret Strategy for the New Season: Attempting to find a way to move the team out of Edmonton.
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