Maybe I'm the Solution

Just a few short weeks one damn off-season eternity ago, I wrote a piece about how maybe I'm the problem. (July 8, 2011: Maybe I'm the Problem). As it turns out, every story has an opposing side, and so I feel that now, in the dog days of August, this other side should be told.


2007-08: Because DGS goes off to college and starts living in Philly, he decides he needs a change in his life, the change, growing and keeping a goatee for the entire season, this goatee becomes a playoff beard when the regular season ends. However, cracking under of pressure of a now ex-girlfriend, DGS shaves the playoff beard right before the Pittsburgh series, the Flyers are soon eliminated.


2008-09: DGS once again keeps different variations of facial hair during the entire regular season, but in March of 2009, DGS starts a new job and decides to make a good impression on his new employer by going clean shaven for this job. The Flyers are quickly dispatched by the Pittsburgh Penguins.

2009-10: DGS is clean shaven for the start of the season. The Flyers totally suck more than anything. On December 31, as a joke, DGS decides to to let some facial hair start growing. When DGS doesn't shave, the Flyers kick ass. DGS lets a full chinstrap grow from Jan 1 which eventually turns into a playoff beard. DGS never shaves the playoff beard willingly but on the morning of Game 6, while frying bacon for his breakfast, DGS singes part of his beard and it falls out leaving an empty patch of playoff beard (not to be confused with DGS empty patches on his playoff beard caused by inability to grow facial hair.) Game 6 OT the puck trickles through Leighton's 5-hole.

2010-11: DGS goes into the season with a goatee as always, other than November where DGS does "Movember" and has a Carcillo-like Porn-stache instead. The Flyers are easily one of the best teams in the league. Right around the ASG, DGS drops the facial hair in favor or long sideburns and a Danny-Briere clone look and the Flyers collapse faster than the 2010 Boston Bruins. During the playoffs, the playoff beard returns but with a problem, right before Game 1 of the Boston series, DGS plays a pickup game of hockey with some friends. During the game, DGS loses some hair in his helmet. (if you check the playoff beard update pics, I started wearing a hat to hide it.) After DGS lost this chunk of hair, the Flyers never won another game.


Luckily, this year, I plan on keeping a Ville Leino beard until the playoffs, then going all out with (what I hope ends up as) a Hartnell-esque amount of hair.

PS: If it doesn't work, Blame Steve Whyno!

Here's to a successful season! GO FLYERS!

Social CORSI, or how to pick better friends

If you follow me on twitter, read my serious pieces or know me, then you know that I love math and Corsi. I crunch numbers, it's fun. In fact, it's so fun that I've come up with a Social Corsi scale that can be used to help you pick friends.

This doesn't bode well for Social
Corsi ratings.

Now most people use "feelings" and "emotions" when picking their friends. Or they use a +/- like system that's too dependent on the environment, just like +/- is heavily influenced by the play of the goalies.

So let's create a standard of Social Corsi to determine who are really the best friends. Also, with them, I have some examples of people you should get to know because they have high Social Corsi ratings. Oddly, I'm not one of them. Also, in order to show how Social Corsi works in accordance with perception, I'm going to compare the Social Corsi test subjects to current NHL stars. This should help you understand the rankings of Social Corsi.

First off, in Corsi, a player gets a +1 for shots on goal, missed shots and blocked shots while getting a -1 for the same 3 categories against. In Social Corsi one gets a +1 for good social things like: telling jokes, giving compliments, having fun Twitter banter, being insanely polite, starting clever twitter hashtags and funny trolling and a -1 for being unfunny, stupidly trolling, giving into RT requests from idiot fans, making silly RT requests.

More importantly, but when on Twitter checking a persons "follower" count for a high number doesn't guarantee quality.

For instance LeBron James has a ton of followers, but he's unfunny, a douche, an egotistical dirtbag and always disappears after 3. This is a bad Social Corsi rating. Now, on top of it all, he's competing with the NBA. A place where people pull guns on teammates. This is a low relative competition setting. Conclusion, LeBron James has the WORST Social Corsi Rel to QoC. Or, in short. LeBron is a douche.

On the other side, Steve Whyno. (@SWhyno) is a guy who seems like he's a horrible guy. He's always causing trouble to the point that #BlameWhyno will probably trend on Twitter at some point. Also, he openly admits to having a huge ego and finally, he ditched Philadelphia for DC faster than Jayson Werth. But, when you look deeper you see a few things. 1: #BlameWhyno is actually funny. 2: He will give quality banter. 3: If not for the humor he makes at his own expense, the world would be boring. That's a super high Social Corsi rating. In fact, Whyno is so misunderstood, he's like Jeff Carter. Many people perceive him to actually be the cause of their problems and take #BlameWhyno too seriously. They also assume that because of his ego, he's always wrong about everything and a bad writer. Just like Carter, people dwell too much on single-issue anecdotes not realizing that in the big picture Carter was a top tier NHL Center. Now, stop #BlameWhyno and realize, Steve Whyno is awesome. The only place Whyno loses points, Philadelphia is filled with "rude" people (according to Dan Carcillo) so therefore, Whyno's Social Corsi Rel QoC is still moderate.

Finally DGS Podcast guest Jaye Horbay. @HorbayJ is a guy who has a top social CORSI. He's always polite. He's great with jokes and getting involved in hashtags. Not only that, but he's a super frustrated Avalanche fan who is from Edmonton and now lives in Vancouver. Being in enemy territory like he is, it would be so easy for him vent his frustrations on the world constantly, but he NEVER does. Instead he gives out great advice with regards to his job and is a politely awesome guy. He's the king of Social Corsi as his Social Corsi is high and he puts up this high Social Corsi while seeing top competition making him the "champion" of Social Corsi Rel QoC.

Please note: this is the first time that Vancouver will EVER be the Champion of anything.

NHL Oops Moments

You know that moment you have when you realize something wasn't what it seemed? Like when people mistake me for Danny Briere (happened twice now). It's happened quite a bit around the NHL recently and we have a list of those moments compiled here.



The Event- Martin St Louis wears the new Lightning jerseys to a promotional event at a Tampa area sports store.
The Reaction- A little kid yells out, "LOOK, MOMMY, A SMURF!!!!!!!" (This is followed by kids asking Marty to sign their Disney movies...and parents wondering who that paid actor is...)



The Event- Danny Briere walks into a local coffee shop in South Jersey
The Reaction-The barista instantly says, "Your usual, DGS?"


The Event- Jaromir Jagr and Max Talbot sign with the Flyers.
The Reaction-Chris Pronger laughs maniacally as he reveals he stole the Penguins contract offers and replaced them with a Flyers offer instead.


The Event- The Rangers sign a UFA player.
The Reaction- Glen Sather still doesn't know who keeps adding extra years "0s" to each contract.



The Event- Wade Redden waived and assigned to AHL Hartford.
The Reaction- The Whale apparently were under the impression that they were getting an NHL send down, not an ECHL call up.


The Event- The Bruins execute a line change during the playoffs.
The Reaction- Paul Holmgren counted out the men, there's too many...oh god... GAGNE!


The Event- Eklund reports a trade rumor as e5
The Reaction- Crickets


The Event- David Poile asks for "Brent" in a trade with the Maple Leafs
The Reaction- Brian Burke hand writes the trade fax with "Brett" in it and makes sure to send Lebda to the Predators.

(Note: We have no proof about this, but it's the only logical explanation as to why anyone would ever trade FOR Brett Lebda)



The Event- A Sedin asks a linesman about a call during a stoppage prompting the linesman to say, "Well, Dan..."
The Reaction- "uhh...I'm Henrik"


The Event- Garth Snow jokingly says he intends to reacquire Roloson because of his playoffs successes.
The Reaction- In a "Milbury Moment" Snow acquires Brian Rolston instead.

Giving Back

I've sat on this post for a day now, not really knowing how to write it or what to say. But here goes.

Yesterday I did something that was inspiring and uplifting on a level that I can't describe. I had a chance to visit a pediatric oncology wing of a hospital and do a little entertaining for some kids who deserve it. These kids, mostly between the ages of 7-10, are by far the toughest, bravest souls I have ever met. They show no fear in what it is they do. In a world with a lot of negatives going on, it was nice to see that somewhere, good things still happen.

Most of these kids won't see the age of 12, but stuff like that won't stop me. I'm going to try to make this a regular thing, go back every so often to help them out.

Anyway, I'm not gonna push for a "will donate this much to charity if..." because I already gave a flat amount to a cancer research charity at the end of my day there yesterday. Rather, I challenge you to: do something nice for someone who needs it. It doesn't have to be big, just smile to someone who looks upset or let someone go ahead of you in line at a store or something. Doing things like that, can improve the world.

Magical Spearing Midget

By popular demand to yesterday's post. I made another character. A Gnome Mage. His name is Briere. He's Hab-sized, uses magic...and well...look at that spear-like object he carries.

Pronger

I play World of Warcraft. Today, I made my newest character, Pronger.

DGS Fantasy Hockey 2011-12 Style: THIS YEAR WILL NOT SUCK!

This year, I'll be hosting a Yahoo Fantasy hockey league. It's going to be the maximum number of players and largest roster size possible. In other words really big, with lots of people.

If you want in, shoot me an email at DownGoesSpezza@gmail.com (joins will be taken on a first come, first serve basis and we already filled about 10 slots via twitter) and I'll put you on the list. I realize that I'm starting early, but I want to have everyone's contact information get a draft time reserved when it works for as many people as possible. Who's ready to have fun?

Hope you enjoy, good luck and lets play hockey!

Don't Cry for Me Philadelphia

Dear Diary -

Well, this is the end my friend, at least for the Philadelphia chapter (the second NHL one). When the Flyers traded for the rights to Ilya Bryzgalov I knew my days in orange and black were over (again). Recognizing that my days as a starting goalie are also over - well, to be honest, they've been over for a while - I took a two-year contract to go back up Cam Ward with the Carolina Hurricanes.

But fear not Philly, I'll always have the memory of my second run - both good and bad. I mean really, who could forgot the freak accident where I slashed my finger during a game, leading to the emergence of Michael Leighton (ooops....I probably should have said He Who Should Not Be Named). Or when Ryan Parent fell on me - spraining both my knees, once again leading to the re-emergence of He Who Should Not Be Named. I have to say, I won't miss the Goalie-Go-Round - frankly, I was getting quite dizzy. I'm sure the rest of you were, too.

But let's be honest, my best memory in this second go-around has to be the shootout against the New York Rangers to sneak into the playoffs. I know what you were all thinking - "Oh my g*d, a shootout - we're screwed." But I did it - I stopped Olli Jokinen and did my Boosh Dance to celebrate (let's all forget about the little trip I made before the dance - okay).

It's been real Philly, but the time has come to move on. It's a Russian era - and I just don't fit. But don't worry - I don't heffa be mad. It's okay. After all - it's not like I'm going to Edmonton or anything.

So long Philly - it's been real.

Boosh