Fan vs Fan

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Maybe I'm the Solution

Just a few short weeks one damn off-season eternity ago, I wrote a piece about how maybe I'm the problem. (July 8, 2011: Maybe I'm the Problem). As it turns out, every story has an opposing side, and so I feel that now, in the dog days of August, this other side should be told.

2007-08: Because DGS goes off to college and starts living in Philly, he decides he needs a change in his life, the change, growing and keeping a goatee for the entire season, this goatee becomes a playoff beard when the regular season ends. However, cracking under of pressure of a now ex-girlfriend, DGS shaves the playoff beard right before the Pittsburgh series, the Flyers are soon eliminated.

2008-09: DGS once again keeps different variations of facial hair during the entire regular season, but in March of 2009, DGS starts a new job and decides to make a good impression on his new employer by going clean shaven for this job. The Flyers are quickly dispatched by the Pittsburgh Penguins.

2009-10: DGS is clean shaven for the start of the season. The Flyers totally suck more than anything. On December 31, as a joke, DGS decides to to let some facial hair start growing. When DGS doesn't shave, the Flyers kick ass. DGS lets a full chinstrap grow from Jan 1 which eventually turns into a playoff beard. DGS never shaves the playoff beard willingly but on the morning of Game 6, while frying bacon for his breakfast, DGS singes part of his beard and it falls out leaving an empty patch of playoff beard (not to be confused with DGS empty patches on his playoff beard caused by inability to grow facial hair.) Game 6 OT the puck trickles through Leighton's 5-hole.

2010-11: DGS goes into the season with a goatee as always, other than November where DGS does "Movember" and has a Carcillo-like Porn-stache instead. The Flyers are easily one of the best teams in the league. Right around the ASG, DGS drops the facial hair in favor or long sideburns and a Danny-Briere clone look and the Flyers collapse faster than the 2010 Boston Bruins. During the playoffs, the playoff beard returns but with a problem, right before Game 1 of the Boston series, DGS plays a pickup game of hockey with some friends. During the game, DGS loses some hair in his helmet. (if you check the playoff beard update pics, I started wearing a hat to hide it.) After DGS lost this chunk of hair, the Flyers never won another game.

Luckily, this year, I plan on keeping a Ville Leino beard until the playoffs, then going all out with (what I hope ends up as) a Hartnell-esque amount of hair.

PS: If it doesn't work, Blame Steve Whyno!

Here's to a successful season! GO FLYERS!

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