Fan vs Fan

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Weddings and Fun

Yesterday DGS attended a cousin's wedding, needless to say, Family Goes Spezza started asking me about when I was getting married and it got me thinking, what's it like to compare hockey and a wedding.

Wedding: A bunch of people attend an event where 2 people come together, say, "I do" and hopefully live happily ever after.
Hockey: A bunch of people attend an event where 2 people come together, say, "I do" and then proceed to punch each other repeatedly in the face before sitting apart for 5 minutes.

Wedding: Some marriages are just made in heaven and you know there's perfect chemistry between the couple.
Hockey: Some lines are just made via amazing trades and the draft and you know there's perfect twin magic between the Sedins.

Wedding: When something goes wrong, there's a detailed court system in place to sort it out.
Hockey: When something goes wrong, there's a Wheel of Justice and a Flowchart.

Wedding: Feigning illness or injury in order to either gain sympathy or avoid doing something for your spouse is a common technique that is only used after years of marriage.
Hockey: Feigning illness or injury to gain sympathy from referees is a constant event for players on the Vancouver Canucks.

Wedding: Meddling Mothers-In-Law tend to break apart marriages through possible conspiracies.
Hockey: Before June 2011, The NHL conspired against the 29 teams that did NOT employ one Greg Campbell.

Wedding: Brides with a checkered history still wear white to hide their past indiscretions.
Hockey: Sean Avery isn't afraid to let people know who has picked up sloppy seconds.

Wedding: Evil, impossible to satisfy brides who are always taking heads off are known as Bride-zilla
Hockey: Matt Cooke.

Wedding: Some people choose to "elope" or get married quietly without much fanfare with the only proof of marriage being a marriage certificate
Hockey: The Phoenix Coyotes played the Columbus Blue Jackets 4 times this season, allegedly.

Wedding: A good best man will deliver a toast that doesn't involve the phrases, "down in Tijuana" "while we were on spring break" or other unsavory stories, but if it happens, the groom just has to suck it up and deal with it and hope his marriage doesn't end before it begins.
Hockey: Taunting is now punishable because it hurts feelings. This is because last year, Chris Pronger was day-to-day with hurt feelings.

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