Yesterday, it was 103 degrees in my hometown. That's effin hot. Luckily I stayed cool because of a great AC and these tips for staying cool that were submitted to me by the amazing DGS Super Spies. Sadly, unlike the Miami Heat, this head wave doesn't disappear after 3. Luckily, here's how some NHL-ers are beating the heat.
Jonathan Toews: Walked outside wearing a winter coat, gloves, ski cap, and boots, stared at the air around him until it froze to an icy -62 Fahrenheit.
Ilya Bryzgalov: Gave the following quote, "Why you heff to be mad? Just use $51M to buy big air conditioner."
Dan Ellis: Commented that, "it takes more talent to survive in 100+ degree heat than it does to be a brain surgeon"
The Atlanta Thrashers: Packed up and moved to Winnipeg, and were never seen again.
Taylor Hall: Called Tyler Seguin and said, "that Cup doesn't keep you cool like Edmonton does."
Dany Heatley: Demanded a trade to Edmonton, Calgary or a demotion to ECHL Alaska.
Glen Sather: Signed the thermometer to a 12 year 78M contract because, "there's no way mercury gets cold in NYC winters."...he doesn't realize that a "No Movement Clause" doesn't mean the mercury will stay hot...L-O-L Rangers...L-O-L
Matt Cooke: Elbowed himself in the head, so he could sleep through the heat.
Paul Holmgren: Didn't get out of the heat because he didn't realize that 103 is higher than 75. He started suffering from heatstroke, the first symptom, he said, "Today, I will use math while making decisions."
Rick DiPietro: Ended up on LTIR after a bead of sweat fell off his head and onto his leg causing his ACL to tear.
Sean Couturier: Thanked his lucky stars that the 50-contract limit keeps him in the QMJHL.