Anyway, the Stamkos saga is still ongoing. But luckily the DGS Super Spies know why Stamkos hasn't signed.
- Is holding out hope Glen Sather or Paul Holmgren will overpay him on an offer sheet.
- Is trying to trade Vinny.
- Wants to find a dramatic chipmunk
- Cannot sign a contract until someone finds Paul Ranger
- Told Gary Bettman he won't sign a contract until Tampa hosts Edmonton on NBC on a Sunday.
- Wants to play in the NHL, and doesn't get that southern teams are actually NHL teams.
- Thought the Bolts moved to Winnipeg instead of the thrashers
- Went across the state of Florida to save the shuttle program by one-timing astronauts into space.
- Thought the NHL lockout started a year early so he didn't think he needed a contract
- Stamkos can't get through the 1-3-1 to get to the contract to sign it
- Stamkos is too tall, he can't see the contract right in front of him being held by Marty St Louis
- Stamkos wants to get away from Crazy Rolie the Goalie who keeps telling him about "that time the Edmonton Oilers went to the Stanley Cup Finals"
- Can't decide whether he should fear Matt Cooke, Chris Pronger, Raffi Torres or Steve Downie most and therefore doesn't know who to join.
- Is trying to figure out where to play in order to get Mattias Ohlund and Victor Hedman to pass him the puck. (Thanks DTV)
There you have it.