Reasons Drew Doughty is Holding out

So, another day has come and gone and Drew Doughty has yet to sign a contract. Luckily, the DGS SuperSpies have actually been able to plant a bug inside the LA Kings GM's office to listen in on their negotiations with one Mr. Drew Doughty and Mr. Dean Lombardi. (Seriously, getting stuff from Philly to LA is super easy, even if one package got stuck in Tampa for a year.)

Anyway, after listening to the tapes of the negotiations, we've been able to get lists of Drew Doughty's demands with regards to his new contract.

1. Using Wade Redden's salary as a comparable, Drew would like to be paid in proportion to how much better than Wade Redden he is.
2. Doughty seems to be complaining that head coach Terry Murray, who was hired after he was drafted, keeps labeling him a "Marc Crawford" guy.
3. Drew Doughty wants a guarantee that the LA Kings actually sign a prominent UFA forward sometime.
4. Mr. Doughty is waiting for an offer sheet to force a move, too bad they never get used.
5. Using Charlie Sheen and Two and a Half Men for inspiration with regard to contract negotiations has him holding out and getting ready to party.
6. Drew Doughty has vowed to not sign a contract  until after Phoenix gets a permanent home.
7. Doughty just wants to see what kind of whacked out rumors Eklund comes up with.
8. He's using a tactic he calls the "2010 Evgeni Nabokov"
9. There seem to be some voice mails from Paul Holmgren asking why Doughty thinks his RFA rights are owned by Philly. Holmgren keeps saying he signed him to an offer sheet but the league won't authorize it because 51>50. Holmgren says that he "doesn't quite get that math thing"
   
10. Drew Doughty will only sign a contract when he gets his face on an ice cream bar.
11. Actually attempted to sign an offer sheet from Glen Sather, only to find out that "gazillion trinagallion" doesn't actually exist.
12. Has decided that he really wants to play for the Thrashers, but hasn't heard anything regarding their offer sheet.