Fan vs Fan

Saturday, November 20, 2010

25% Through the Season with 25 Reasons Why Your Team Won't Make The Playoffs

So the idea of this post is really simple. I have 25 statements prepared and if they fit your team, then there's a good chance your team is going to miss the playoffs this season.

(Accuracy of statements is only 25% or roughly, the save percentage of all goalies in the Nov 18 game between the Flyers and the Lightning)

  1. Your teams biggest news splash was the fall out of revoking press creds

  2. Your team's opening night goalie just hurt his arm lifting pie to his mouth

  3. This team's home games are played in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

  4. Garth Snow is your team's GM.

  5. You paid $100M for a guy who can't take a penalty shot

  6. Your goalie's already a drunk, and the rest of the team is on the way to following him.

  7. Your team traded Gregory Campbell to another team.

  8. Your team has a Sutter involved in the organization.

  9. Your team just signed a player to a contract extension with the logic of "Numbers Don't Matter"

  10. The other fans of your team will prevent your team from making the playoffs just to avoid paying the other half of their season ticket deposits.

  11. You lack a first round pick in next year's draft.

  12. Your goalie puts pucks into his own net.

  13. Your 2nd year goalie said he wants to be just like Steve Mason.

  14. Someone told your star center that the playoffs start in February rather than April causing him to do his choke in a big game routine 2 months early.

  15. Down Goes Spezza picked your team to win the Atlantic Division. (We picked the NJ Devils)

  16. Your season highlight involved a player on your team getting knocked out by a Simpsons character...err..Swedish meatball.

  17. There's a distinct chance that a player on your team was telling Sean Avery "we suck like this" and not "you suck like this".

  18. Your teams best power play point shot is in the AHL right now.

  19. Your GM has obvious brain damage from hitting himself in the head with a jar of jelly.

  20. Your GM decided that he wanted to make Wade Redden's contract look like a decent one.

  21. Your GM offered a first round pick to the Rangers for Derek Boogaard in order to increase offensive production

  22. Your GM announced that he's building a contender with the "Penguins Method" starting this year.

  23. Your team is trying to lose more games in a row than the Detroit Lions.

  24. Hell, that same team wants to do the opposite of the Flyers's record setting 25-0-10 run.

  25. Your team's marketing strategy is all about getting fans of VISITING teams to visit.

Soon, the 25 reasons you're team will make the playoffs.

1 comment:

  1. #8 simply doesn't make sense, since 16 teams HAVE to make the play offs....