Fan vs Fan

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Sutter Trade Transcript

Per Jeff Marek on Twitter earlier: CAL trades White and Sutter to CAR for Babchuk and Kostopolous.

Now, when the entire Sutter clan seems to run the Calgary Flames, one can only assume that the conversation between the Sutters to inform Drunk Sutter that he had been traded. So, the DGS Super Spies tracked down what happened and caught it on tape.


GM Sutter: Hey, look, you just got arrested for Patrick Kane-ing someone. I need to do something.

Drunk Sutter: But dad! and Uncle! I drink because you guys are running this team into the ice. We're falling faster than Sidney Crosby after someone breathes on him. This team has fallen harder than any victim of the Pronger elbow, it's more punishment to keep me here.

Coach Sutter: See, that's the thing, we all know it's worse to keep you here. Now, we've decided in the interest of fairness to do something kind of nice.

GM Sutter: We're NOT trading you to Edmonton. Be thankful we could have done that.

Drunk Sutter: So, where am I going?

Coach Sutter: Hurricanes.

GM Sutter: Yeah, see, this is good for us.

Coach Sutter: By sending you to Carolina, you can meet up with your cousin.

GM Sutter: See the idea being, we Sutters will begin massing power on both the SE and NW. Doing this we will SLOWLY begin to take over the NHL, and the world.

Coach Sutter: *EVIL LAUGH* you have done well, brother. Soon we shall rule the world! One family above all.

Drunk Sutter: So I'm gonna go pack my bags...see you later Dad...and uncle...(under his breath) they're the f*ck--g reason I drink...




Drunk Sutter then texted Hurricanes Sutter: "DUDE U were So RIGHT!!! Going Pat Kane on that cabbie got me traded, finally I'm outta that shithole called Calgary"

The reply: "Thank god, our dads are delusional aren't they, hope we dont turn in2 them when we get older"

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