Fan vs Fan

Sunday, November 21, 2010

25% Through the Season with 25 Reasons Why Your Team Could Win It All

So, since we're a quarter of the way through the season, it's probably a good idea to let you know the 25 reasons why your team could make the playoffs. Like last time, I'm pretty sure we're only gonna be about 25% accurate, but oh well.

  1. You have a player who scores with the stick in his pants instead of the stick in his hands.
  2. Your team plays in the Central Division.
  3. You have Swedish twins on your top line.
  4. Last season, your team had both a lottery pick and a playoff appearance.
  5. Your team acquired Gregory Campbell
  6. The opposing GMs in your division are named: Sather, Snow and Crazy Lou.
  7. Your GM is a Jedi.
  8. Your starting lineup is so scary, goalies have literally fainted from the amount of talent on your top line.
  9. Daniel Alfredsson has guaranteed your team will fall short of the playoffs.
  10. The Florida Panthers have invited fans of your team to their home games.
  11. You have a gold medal winning goalie from 2010 in net.
  12. You are an NHL team that doesn't play home games in Alberta, Canada.
  13. Gary Bettman has a man crush on your team's captain.
  14. Your top line has a player whose BAC is higher than his jersey number.
  15. Your team employs a goalie who stopped the 2 best offenses in the playoffs last year.
  16. Your team's goalie is the new rookie goalie sensation. (warning: may not work next year.)
  17. Your goalie will take your team to the playoffs because the alternative is paying for golfing lessons and he hates paying for anything.
  18. Your team is so stacked at forward, they can afford to trade a #2 overall draft pick from a few seasons ago for 'future considerations' and actually gain depth.
  19. Well, hey, Joe Thornton can't suck every year now, can he?
  20. Your team has $19M player who can't take a penalty shot instead of a $100M player unable to take a penalty shot.
  21. You're team wasn't mentioned on yesterday's list.
  22. There are no Sutter's making decisions in your organization.
  23. Your team failed to land Ilya Kovalchuk.
  24. Your old former Vezina winning goalie got so fat, he now takes up the whole net to the point that nothing gets by him.
  25. You don't play in Canada.

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