Fan vs Fan

Friday, July 8, 2011

Maybe I'm The Problem. If you believe in luck, then I am the Problem

Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I really caused all of this. I was going through my closet today (well yesterday), and I started going through my Flyers stuff. So guys, I give you everything Flyers that I collected during the 4 years that the RBK-Edge uniforms were used. See if you guys can notice a pattern....

2007-2008:

Received Simon Gagne poster for my birthday: Gagne's brain explodes.

Bought Joffrey Lupul t-shirt: 2 days later, Derian Hatcher breaks Lupul's neck.

Won Antero Niitymaki t-shirt: found out Niity needed hip surgery that offseason.

Proclaim Derian Hatcher as my favorite Flyers player that season: Hatcher breaks his leg and never plays another game again.

Call Jon Kalinski my favorte Flyers forward: compartment syndrome

Tell my roommate: "That Thoresen kid is my favorite Norwegian player..." less than 30 seconds later, Thoresen's balls explode.



2008-2009

Bought black long sleeved Danny Briere t-shirt: Briere plagued by injuries all season

Received Mike Knuble t-shirt for my birthday: Mike Knuble signs with the Caps in the offseason.

Wears #9 when playing in a rec roller hockey weekend tournament for Upshall: less than a week later, Upshall for Carcillo




2009-2010

Received Ray Emery poster for my birthday: Ray Emery's hip and abdomen exploded.

Bought Chris Pronger t-shirt: Pronger's knee explodes during the playoffs, then the 2010-11 disaster

Received a Ryan Parent t-shirt: Parent kills Leighton and Boosh.

Finally develop the confidence to say, "Leighton is really proving himself to be a legit NHL goalie" (~15 minutes later, PatDrunk Kane goes 5-hole)

Put Jeff Carter celebrating a goal as my computer wall paper: Jeff Carter breaks both his feet.



2010-11

Said "Don't worry, a full season of Leighton will be good for him and the Flyers" Leighton breaks repeatedly.

My Chris Pronger man crush becomes more public: Chris Pronger turns into Sami Salo and Rick DiPietro, at the same time.

My mom buys a Matt Walker t-shirt instead of Matt Carle: Matt Walker spends the year needing a walker

I met Jody Shelley and he signs my hat in January: Jody Shelley breaks his face with a puck

I met Andreas Nodl and he signs my hat in January. Andreas Nodl misses the playoffs with an injury.



Also, the playoffs, they get their own section.


2008 playoff run:

1st round: Washington- 1 year removed from the Disaster of 2006-07, I figured the Caps would dispatch the Flyers quickly, result-Flyers in 7

2nd round: Montreal- Hot rookie goalie, veteran short forwards, and I think, ok, the luck's run out so it's Habs in 6. Result-Flyers in a 5 game sweep. Kovalev batted the game 1 goal in with a high stick.

3rd round: Pittsburgh- I'm finally on board, the Flyers have a legit top pairing in Kimmo/Coburn. Great depth guys in Smith and they will contain Crosby. The Flyers will win in 6. Well, Coburn breaks his face. Timonen breaks a foot. Smith separates both shoulders. Result: Flyers lose.


2009:

1st round: Pittsburgh- Revenge is sweet, this year is our year. Result: No, it wasn't.


2010:

1st round: NJD: I start this blog with the sole intent of making fun of the Flyers for another first exit. Boucher beats Brodeur avenging what happened a decade earlier. Result: NJD rolls over.

2nd round: BOS: during my prediction post, I make a hilarious typo where I say the Flyers win in 7, but actually give Boston the win in 6 when I do my game to game log. Result: The Miracle on Broad St.

3rd round: MTL: I go in brimming with confidence, but I think that MTL is due for revenge. I write my preview post espousing the optimistic side of things, but privately, I'm thinking MTL has it this time around. And if the Flyers win, Leighton won't be the reason. Result: Leighton pitches 3 SOs

4th Round: CHI: I predict Flyers in 6. Result: Hawks in 6.


2011

1st round: Buffalo- I think the Flyers will snap up and lose the series without Pronger or win it with Pronger. Result: The Flyers win without Pronger being a major direct factor.

2nd Round: Boston- I call Flyers to win and Tim Thomas to fall back to earth and crap the bed 4 straight times. Result: Flyers lose, Boston wins the cup

5 comments:

  1. "Received a Ryan Parent t-shirt"
    "My mom buys a Matt Walker t-shirt "
    "Call Jon Kalinski my favorte Flyers forward"

    ... These things happen to actual people?!

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  2. I really did call Kalinski my favorite Flyers forward, (the context is, Jon Kalinski is a dead ringer for a friend of mine just as I'm a Danny Briere clone) so it we started calling ourselves Kalinski and Briere.

    As for Matt Walker, my name is Matt...my mom wanted me to have a shirt of a player with the same name...she meant to ask for Carle...said Walker.

    Ryan Parent: I really thought he would be good, so I asked for it when he got traded her. Ooops

    ReplyDelete
  3. God dammit, DGS.

    ReplyDelete
  4. could you do me a favor and root for someone else next season? i don't care who. <3

    ReplyDelete