Tuesday Morning Coffee Break: August 31

Hey guess what, it's Tuesday, and you are bored at work. Don't worry, we have a Tuesday morning coffee break for you today. So grab some coffee, a muffin and sit back and prepare to laugh with the links DGS has for you today!!!!

• Stay Classy delivers a post on different types of hockey players in the world. Run yourself up against the profiles and see who you are.
• Intent to Blow recently became my favorite hockey blog because they mentioned me. Oh yeah, they also got the inside scoop on what Kyle Wellwood's demands for his new contract are. (Hint: NOT SALAD!)
• Hoosier Hockey helps take up the cause of bloggers being plagiarized. I support him fully (possibly because I believe in Blogger's Rights and possibly because I want to appear on his Podcast and possibly because Peter is a solid dude who's a great guy and huge DGS supporter). Enough said.
• Hockey Broad discusses Justin Bieber's role in hockey marketing. Yes I know, you probably want to puke but honestly, take a deep breath, free your mind, and just read her out. 
• Blades of Funny adds some quotes to Willie Mitchell. I laughed hard at this post. 
• Discard What You Don't Need a blogging newcomer discusses how to draft your NHL fantasy team. If I could recommend one guy over the rest on this list, it's this guy right here, Jason is a solid up and coming blogger with a brighter future than his team, the Dallas Stars. He also has a brighter future than Taylor Hall once Hall gets the hell out of Edmonton. 

Now that you've had some good reads, get back to work. Have a productive day, and we will see you tomorrow.

Caption Contest 8

Digging around the internet I came across the following picture of Tuukka Rask, the Boston Bruins goaltender. Do me a favor, write something funny about it.

Sunday Brunch: A Discussion of Hilariously Hypothetical Things Related to the NHL, part 5

Well what do you know. It's Sunday again. What does that mean? *silence* It means it's Sunday Brunch time. So here we go.

A huge glove bump to DGS Supporter Don't Trade Vinny for helping me with today's discussion. (By the way, if you're not reading his blog, well you're probably illiterate because the guy is a comedic genius)

So it seems that Kovy gate is going nowhere, or is it? Today Ilya Kovalchuk announced that he is "taking his talent to south Beach to play for the Miami Heat" You know what that means. Tell me how it goes down with Kovy joining Bosh, Wade and James in Miami.

There's the scenario, now go forth and give me LULZ!

Welcoming the Flyers new AHL team: Tampa Bay Lightning

No seriously, look at the Bolts these days, all their Flyers related history. It's almost odd how the Flyers turned the Bolts into an extra AHL team, and how the Bolts kinda play like an AHL team these days too. I mean look at the Lawton/Tocchet era. Even the coaching staff currently has come Flyers connections. The head coach is some guy named Boucher, and as a long time Flyers fan, the name Boucher means a lot to me, mainly because he didn't totally suck this year when we needed him most, games 1 and 5 of the Finals not withstanding (don't worry Brian, I'll judge you based on the result of this series). Boucher's assistant, Dan Lacroix from the 1997 Dan Line of Dan Lacroix, Scott Daniels, and Dan Kordic.

The current Bolts line up features two Flyers rejects.

Let's see, when looking at future talent, the Bolts top agitator is Steve Downie, a guy who's so undisciplined and off the wall that even the Flyers wouldn't even keep him.

The blue line has former Flyer Randy Jones anchoring it's third pair, a guy so bad he lost his job to Ryan Parent/Oskars Bartulis.

Then I realized something, this Bolts/Flyers connection has gone back to the mid 90s.

The historical examples

• When the Legion of Doom failed, Mikael Renberg was sent down to the Bolts in favor of Chris Gratton
• When Gratton didn't help, he was sent down to give Renberg a 2nd chance
• Sean Burke made his way to the Flyers a couple times in his career, he too spent time with the Bolts when he lost his A-game
• Vinny Prospal got shipped between the Flyers/Bolts quite a few times.
• After Antero Niitymaki sucked for the Flyers, he was sent down to the Bolts.
• When Steve Eminger couldn't hack it in Philly, he was traded with Downie for Matt Carle
• Simon Gagne and Randy Jones now join those ranks.

As for the future, I've obtained some exclusive pictures of the future of these franchises.

Being sent down to the Bolts:









Being Called up to the Orange and Black







Ok, I shall wake up now and stop dreaming. (DTV, you can stop crying now this was work of fiction, please don't sue me)

Scott Hartnell Agrees to Waive his NTC, the Secret Reasons Why

So it just came out that Scott Hartnell agreed to waive his NTC last year in order to be traded to the Edmonton Oilers for Sheldon Souray. Now, it's mind boggling as to way anyone in their right mind would ever waive an NTC to be traded IN TO Edmonton, so the DGSSuperSpies were put ont the case. Needless to say, their findings were eye opening.

• Dan Carcillo told Hartnell, "Hey, Edmonton's not so bad, when I played in Phoenix, I had to visit Edmonton twice every year." *after Hartnell was out of earshot* "And I made sure to get suspended before every visit."
• Blair Betts, who's from Edmonton said, "As a Ranger, I got to spend summer's in Edmonton and the weather was like 65 degrees every day and sunny, it was nice" *After Hartnell left the room* "Thank god I got to play in the Eastern conference"
• Chris Pronger elbowed Hartnell in the head and said "Edmonton's awesome" before laughing uncontrollably.
• Jeff Carter said, "Trust me dude, it'll be great for your career, showing your tough enough to play in Edmonton. Just don't bring Lisa, she's gonna hate the fact that I'm not...uhh...weather is bad in Edmonton. *Jeff then left to meet Lisa Hartnell and inform her of the great news*
• Danny Briere tried to talk to Hartnell about this, but no one noticed the Hab-sized center as he's too short.

And of course, the dialog between Paul Holmgren and Scott Hartnell.

Paul Holmgren: Hey Scott, glad you could see me.

Scott Hartnell: Urgh me happy to see you to.

Paul: Well, we have a possible trade upcoming, and I need you to waive your NTC

Scott: Where do me go?

Paul: Well, uhh, the Western Conference, though sadly, you're being traded to a team that has no hope in the playoffs.

Scott: Sound not fun. Do me get trade to Shark?

Paul: Not the Sharks.

Scott: Loss Angels Kings, they has fun name Koptar.

Paul: Not the Kings, they wouldn't give us Jon Quick in return

Scott: Calgary Flam? They from close to mine cave.

Paul: Uhh, close actually. We want to trade you to Edmonton.

Scott: Ed-mon-ton?

Paul: Yes, we will be receiving Sheldon Souray in return for you.

Scott: Why do me need to trade to Edmonton?

Paul: Yes, the Edmonton Oilers, but don't worry. They promised that they will never play another game in Edmonton

Scott: Sound like good. Hartnell get angry when playing in Oiler.

Jeff Carter and Scott Hartnell's AIM Conversation Revealed

As well all know, last season Jeff Carter lost his on ice scoring touch. To balance this, he allegedly started doing a lot of scoring off the ice, with a Mrs. Hartnell.

(Click on the pic to see it full sized)

Well, the DGS SuperSpies found an old laptop the other day, and on it were some old saved AIM conversations between Jeff Carter and Scott Hartnell, we read them and found them quite enlightening.

(In the interest of full disclosure, the following conversation is parody created by the DGS minds and is a complete work of fiction.)

An Open Letter: Arron Asham

In the words of FlyersBuzzTap's Tweet: "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to dust, Arron Asham, you're dead to us"

(Notice the correct use of citations via the link)

Anyway, the peeps of DGS have decided to write Asham an open letter telling him how we feel about this; so here goes...

Dear Mr. Asham,

I guess we shouldn't be surprised that you'd jump right to the enemy. Arguably it wasn't your fault. But it sure seems like you recently have had a habit of fucking over your previous employers. Hell you went from the Islanders, to the Devils to the Flyers to the Penguins...guess this means you plan on being Whore-vechkin's bodyguard in 2011-2012 doesn't it? Seriously, show some fucking loyalty. The fans of Philadelphia embraced you, and of 700K is all you wanted, I'm pretty sure even Paul Holmgren could have found the money to sign you.

I'd wish you luck in your future endeavors but in reality, the only thing I should be doing is wishing the fans of Penguins luck when you show up in 2011-12 wearing a Capitals uniform.

I mean, the only place I law less loyalty is how Dallas handled Mike Modano, and that's saying something.

On the other hand, you're a great reminder of NHL94, you occasionally sneak slapshots by unsuspecting goalies and have this one deke move that you used to out maneuver Mike Green and Jose Theodore in 2009. Honestly, that's not much of a accomplishment, going around a forward then beating Steve Penney with a wrist shot isn't much to be proud of. But hey, that's all your good at.

Thanks for the memories, you're gonna forget them all when Pronger's elbow meets your skull.

Down Goes Spezza and the Orange Nation

Sunday Brunch: A Discussion of Hilariously Hypothetical Things Related to the NHL, part 4

Good morning DGS Readers. Once again, it's Sunday, and we're serving brunch at DGS. What's that mean? It means that we have a question that we want answered in the funniest way possible. Who's gonna answer it? YOU ARE! the DGS readers! we love hearing from you.

So anyway, here we go.

Kyle Wellwood, Tim Thomas and Martin Brodeur walk into a restaurant that may or may not be an "all you can buffet" the reason why it's that way, the restaurant is owned by Stephane Auger and we all know what happens when he's in charge of something. Needless to say, how does this go down? (besides in a greasy, fattening mess of fried chicken)

The NHL's RDO Camp 2010: Rule Changes You Weren't Told About

So as we all know, the NHL just recently looked at possible rule changes at the RDO camp, well the DGS SuperSpies recently uncovered some other possible rule changes that were NOT tested at the RDO Camp. In the interest of public knowledge and full disclosure we're posting the list here for you to see.

• After trying out 4 on 4, 3 on 3 and 2 on 2 overtimes, 1 on 1 and 0 on 0 were tried as well.
  
  
  
• Goalie's were asked to go pad free, to avoid any debates as to whether pads were too big
  
  
• New shootout format featuring empty nets. (NHL could just force all shooters to shoot on Vesa Toskala during the season to make this work)
  
  
• Players were asked to play a 60 minute game officiated by Stephane Auger where the rules were applied fairly and consistently
  
  
• Players wearing 87 for the Penguins were now called for diving
  
  
• Games could now be canceled in favor of just a shootout
  
  
• Teams on the PK would have the play goalie free and all penalties would last assigned length regardless of how many goals were scored. (note, Bettman still thinks the NHL would lack scoring with this rule)
  
  
• Players were also forced to dress/change/shower in front of life sized posters of Pierre McGuire in order to prepare them for the experience of being interviewed by him after they get drafted.
  
  
• In order to foster more scoring, pucks now entering the crease count as a goal, and pucks entering the back of the net count as 2 goals.
  
  
• Defenseman throwing body checks in the defensive zone will now be called for a 2 minute penalty for "not allowing scoring chances"
  
  
• Goalies who cover the puck in the goal crease are now subject to a "delay of game penalty"
  
  
• Goalies can no longer leave crease to play puck or make saves.
  
  
• Players were also taught to have sophomore slumps that make Steve Mason's look non-existent.
  

DGS-Special Investigation Series: How Eklund Works

We all wonder how Eklund comes up with crazy trade rumors that never seem to happen. Needless to say, I figured I had to get some of what he was smoking his unique inspiration. Anyway, I was playing NHL 10 the other day again, and the offseason came around, and I started making trades...needless to say some of these trades reminded me of Eklund, here are the examples.

Draft Day 2010:

To PHL: Dustin Byfuglien and Duncan Keith

To CHI: Ryan Parent and Danny Briere

To PHL: Evgeni Nabokov

To SJS: Kimmo Timonen and Brian Boucher

To MTL: James van Riemsdyk, Nabokov and Braydon Coburn

To PHL: Halak, 3rd, 5th round draft picks

Free Agency Notables

Ilya Kovalchuk: signs with SJS 5 years, 8 cap hit

Patrick Marleau: signs with Dallas 6 years, 6 cap hit

Marty Turco: signs with SJS 3 years, 3.5 cap hit

Martin Biron: stays with NYI 2 years 2 cap hit

Antero Niitymaki: stays with TBL 3 years 3.2 cap hit

Toni Lydman: signs with PHL: 2 years, 2.6 cap hit

Arron Asham: stays with PHL: 2 years 1.1 cap hit

Rob Blake: signs with PHL: 1yr 2 cap hit

Leighton: stays with PHL: 3 yrs 900k cap hit

Flyers opening night roster

Gagne-Richards-Byfuglien

Hartnell-Carter-Giroux

Carcillo-Powe-Asham

Leino-Betts-Laperriere

Pronger-Carle

Lydman-Keith

Bartulis-Blake

Halak-Leighton

Scratches: Patrick Maroon, Jay McKee (Waiver claimed from Penguins), Johan Backlund

the Cap was 62 million, I had 340K in space

SO yeah notable trades I made with the Flyers during the season

November 2010

To TBL: Scott Hartnell, Oskars Bartulis and Jeff Carter

To PHL: Steven Stamkos, Martin St. Louis and Vinny Lecavalier

To EDM: 1st round draft pick

To PHL: Braydon Coburn

Trade Deadline 2011

To LAK: Johan Backlund and Dan Carcillo

To PHL: Alex Frolov and Erik Ersberg

other trades I happened to see that made me LOL

To Van: Colton Orr

To Tor: Kyle Wellwood

To DET: Paul Martin, 1st Round draft pick

To NJD: Nick Lidstrom

To WSH: Sidney Crosby

To PIT: Alex Ovechkin

To WSH: Zdeno Chara

To BOS: Mike Green

To WSH: Tomas Vokoun

To FLA: Jose Theodore

To EDM: Sean Avery

To NYR: Fernando Pisani

Anyway: it hit me, Eklund sits with an XBOX all day playing the NHL video games, and the trade rumors he comes up with involve seeing if the video game will make them. After that we see that, well, Eklund's just giving us the AI version of things. Now back to reality and regularly scheduled programming.

NHL Possible Expansion

Ok, so we know there's a lot of talk of movement in the NHL in terms of franchise relocations. Phoenix, the Islanders, any southern market team that fails to make money, have all been mentioned as possibly moving in the next few years. We here at DGS would like to talk about possible movement in the NHL, somewhat seriously....oh bloody hell who are we kidding? We're gonna have a lot of fun with this.

A huge glove bump, stick tap, and thank you from DGS goes to the following people who really helped make this post possible:

• Don't Trade Vinny
• Peter from Hoosier Hockey
• HockeyBroad

Now of course to have an intelligent discussion about this topic, we need to solve a few problems, like Gary Bettman

So, now that we solved that problem. We can move on and begin discussing possible NHL expansions.


We'll start with Phoenix. Honestly, I wouldn't mind seeing the Coyotes move back to Winnipeg. Also, perhaps my Canadian readers and friends could answer this for me, why has no one suggested Regina/Saskatoon as destinations for an NHL franchise, they're decently sized cities? Is there something that I'm missing? (Like conditions that make Edmonton look nice?)

(Hoosier Hockey's Peter Evans supplied me with this:
"Regina/Saskatoon will not work seeing as they don't have the much needed corporate money necessary to have a team. Yes, the Credit Union Centre can barely accomidate an NHL franchise (I mean that in the loosest way possible), but the corporate dollars just aren't there.

") If anyone wants to dispute the findings of Mr. Evans, I'm all ears.

Mississauga, Ontario is a another place that I think a team could go.

If the Coyotes need to stay in the USA, then perhaps we could give Portland, Maine a shot (Wikipedia gives the metro area of Portland at around 500,000 people)and Milwaukee, Wisconsin could get a look as well. These destinations could work for the Islanders.

Peter Evans from Hoosier Hockey has offered his opinions on some of my ideas

Portland, OR- I don't see this happening. The city has just thrown a ton of money into converting their baseball stadium into an MLS facility. They've hit a stand still on the possible location of a new minor league stadium and the city LOVES their arena that's used for their WHL franchise. I'm just not buying the city building a new facility.

Seattle- Key Arena is a horrible place to watch a hockey game. Also, it would be too small and needs renovation. Seattle doesn't want to throw down money stuff such as this. I don't see it happening.

Kansas City- New arena and they're hungry for a tenant. Here's the issue: That city does not care about hockey. They have trouble keeping minor league teams. The Scouts lasted all of two seasons and when they had preseason games last year, they couldn't even give the seats away.

Hamilton, ON- No way. Too many issues with the league not really wanting a team there. TSN estimated that with stadium renovations, fees and money spent to Toronto and Buffalo on market infringement it would cost almost a billion dollars just to have the team. That's a huge set up fee. Also I honestly believe that if you put a team in Hamilton, Buffalo will be gone within a decade.

Portland, ME- Too small, not enough corporate money. No major arena.

Quebec City- Plans in place to build a new arena, an owner waiting in the wings, tons of corporate money. More a matter of when rather than if.

Winnipeg- An arena that will need minimal renovation, ownership groups frothing at the mouth, enough community support to ensure sellouts at an incredibly high rate. Referenced as the first city on Bettman's list.

Milwaukee- They were on the short list during that last decade of expansion. There isn't much interest in pursuing NHL hockey up there. I don't really see it happening.

Hartford- The arena needs renovation. There is interest in bringing them back, it's a possibility, but I don't see it happening before bringing back QC and Winnipeg.

Now, onto NHL expansion...

No, not the Gary Bettman kind.

No, not the Sami Salo kind either.


I mean, expanding the NHL to 32 teams like the NFL.

Here me out, I have an idea for this and I think it could work. I'll do the divisions, with how I work it.

Eastern Conference

Division A
Flyers
Rangers
Devils
Penguins

Division B
Hurricanes
Thrashers
Lightning
Panthers

Division C
Islanders: Now in Mississauga or Hamilton**
Canadiens
Maple Leafs
Senators

Division D
Bruins
Sabres
Hartford (Expansion)
Capitals



Western Conference

Division A
St Louis
Chicago
Detroit
Columbus

Division B
Minnesota
Dallas
Nashville
Milwaukee (Expansion)

Division C

San Jose

Los Angeles

Anaheim

Colorado

Division D

Phoenix (Back in Winnipeg or in Regina/Saskatoon)

Vancouver

Calgary

Edmonton

I tried to keep rivalries together (Easter Div A and West Div B) while working geographically, also I kept the Canadian teams together in hopes that they draw big revenue by playing each other a lot.

As for the schedule:

other 3 teams in division

Inter-division games: 24

play 8x (4 home/4 road)

Other 3 divisions in conference

play 4x (2 home 2 road) 48

For 72 games.

Play 1 out of conference division 2x (1 home/1 road)

that's 80 games.

Play 3 teams that finished in your divisional slot (1st place vs 1st place) out of conference 2x (1 home, 1 road) for 6 more games

That's an 86 game schedule, and that's my thoughts on the topic. If you agree/disagree discuss it here. I've enlisted the help of HoosierHockey and Don't Trade Vinny for their views on the topic.

Don't Trade Vinny added this to regarding the NHL Preseason:

Extend the preseason from 4 games to at least eight games for every team, with some of the games being played in a neutral market. Then, we could see what markets generate potential expansion sites.

Places with huge collegiate hockey markets (Dakotas, Maine, etc.) could host preseason games. For instance, Boston vs. Philly preseason in Maine. Chicago vs. Vancouver or Calgary in the Dakotas.

Other places the NHL has considered could then be used also. San Jose vs. Colorado in Las Vegas. St. Louis vs. Chicago in Kansas City. Toronto vs.Ottawa in Hamilton. Columbus vs. Nashville in Indy. Not only could the sites be geographically specific based on teams, but could also be great in between travel points during the preseason, which could in turn provide less early season fatigue for everyone which could then in turn make the exciting first year players break out quicker and/or avoid that typical freshmen late season breakdown.

I happen to think that he's onto something there, of course, 86 games, plus 8 in the preseason means camps would open Sept 1, (8 games player between Sept 8 and 27) and the Regular season would start October 1 and run to April 15, playoffs begin April 20 and run through June 25 like they do now.


**- Note from Hoosier Hockey's Peter Evans: There is just absolutely no way in the world that the Islanders would move out of that New York market. The amount of money they bring in, in terms of TV revenue and advertising dollars is just way too high to leave. The more likely option is that they either A) Move to Queens (next to Citi Field), B) Move into the Barclays Center in Brooklyn or the more likely C) They remain where they are with a new arena devoid of pretty much any of the things Wang wanted built with the Lighthouse Project.)

Sunday Brunch: A Discussion of Hilariously Hypothetical Things Related to the NHL, part 3

Good morning DGS-ers!

I hope this Sunday is treating you well, I'm honestly probably still in bed, and due to the great Auto-post feature, don't actually have to get up to post this. But that is neither here nor there. Today, we have yet another DGS-discussion and we hope that you the fans can get behind.


Today, we're taking a look into a possible future, one where the NHL is actually run by competent people, and the idiots have been fired.


Anyway, we're sitting somewhere, probably New Orleans, and Gary Bettman, Glen Sather, Paul Holmgren, John Ferguson Jr, Brian Lawton and Darryl Sutter have just decided to start a business together.

We here at DGS want to know, what do you think happens!

This Left Feels Right: Wings that is

Today, we start looking at the Flyers wings. Like my pieces on goaltending, defense, and centers, we're gonna talk about the wings.


Dan Carcillo: Should be an effective player during the 4 minutes of time he gets to show his talents when not in the penalty box or serving a suspension. Should be traded at the deadline with the worst defensemen we have to the Maple Leafs for Luke Schenn, ala Downie/Eminger for Matt Carle.

Riley Cote: Unlike Brett Favre, I expect Riley to stay retired.

Claude Giroux: The little guy is gonna step up his game, finally bringing his playmaking skills to the regular season as well as the playoffs. If not, well, then he won't get a pick RFA payday at the end of the year.

Scott Hartnell: Hopefully will speed up due to the lack of resistance of the hair that he finally cut.

Ian Laperriere: Should find a clever way to break his face during the season even though he will be wearing a shield.

Ville Leino: If he's the 2nd coming of Gagne, then I will stop hating the Gagne trade, and replace it with great disdain.

Darroll Powe: Will hopefully be the new Arron Asham type player, in that he can score 10-12 goals, and hopefully be effective as a role player. Will kill penalties with a Betts-like effectiveness, no jokes here.

Jody Shelley: AHL Bus please, but will probably be a more expensive Cote. Hopefully he scores at the same pace with the Flyers, that he scored against the Flyers last year...then I won't totally hate him.*

Nik Zherdev: Back to Russia! Give me Simon!

James van Riemsdyk: Trade bait please? I'd deal him and Meszaros for Kaberle, too bad JFJ is no longer the Leafs GM.




*- Offer null and void if the guy gives me awesome fights.

Riley Cote: Top 5 NHL Career Moments

Well, today Riley Cote announced his retirement and is now gonna take on an assistant coaching job with the AHL Phantoms, so we here at DGS have decided to look at the Top 5 career moments of Riley Cote. It's a short career, but we can come up with 10 memorable Cote moments, right?

5: Cote's first fight, March 30, 2007 at NJ Devils

4. The two for one special: starring Asham, Rupp and Leblond




3. Cote vs Rechlicz in a marathon bout

2. Cote vs Roy round 2 from March 6, 2008




But what made this moment classic:






and before the number 1 Riley Cote moment, we look at some honorable mentions...



Cote vs McGrattan




Cote vs Fritz









And now, the #1 Riley Cote moment....





1. Riley Cote vs Carey Price!

Sunday Brunch: A Discussion of Hilariously Hypothetical Things Related to the NHL, part 2

Just like last week, we here at DGS would like to invite you to brunch with us. Last week we got a couple of nice chuckles, and now we're looking to do some more of that.

This one is real simple. Once again, loyal DGS-ers give me your thoughts on a 'what would happen if' scenario'

1. What would happen if...Rick DiPietro, Sami Salo and Marion Gaborik walk into a bar together, where the bartenders are Keith Ballard and Chris Pronger?

Moving Forward Part 1: The Center of attention

Well, in order to complete my series on the Flyers for next year, I'm gonna look at the forwards. In order to not drive myself crazy, we're gonna do this by position. Up first the centers.

Mike Richards

1 high/1 low

High: Scored a career high in goals in 09-10

Low: Scored exactly 0 3 on 5 short handed goals thereby not extending the one NHL record he has.

Prediction for 10-11: Richards will be....RELENTLESS

Jeff Carter

1 high/1low

High: Kept up a great scoring pace that put the entire NHL to shame.

Low: Forgot how to score while ON the ice.

Prediction for 10-11: Carter will have a scoring touch, whether it's in the bedroom or on the ice is still to be determined.

Danny Briere:

High: Proved he's got a bit of toughness by actually dropping the gloves with Marc Vlasic of the Sharks during a game. Oh yeah, he was kinda successful during the playoffs too.

Low: His cap his is WHAT?!?!?!?!

Prediction for 10-11: Will become the new Simon Gagne, and not in the way we want him too. Luckily, this will all be forgiven when we find a way to trade him with Big Mesz to the Flames for Iggy and Kipper.

Blair Betts:

High: Who didn't love his penalty killing?

Low: His shoulders.

Prediction for 10-11: Will be the best PK guy in the NHL, with shoulders that make Randy Orton's look healthy.

High:

Reasonable Expectations: Andrej Meszaros and the rest of the Defense

Well, it is time once again for everyone to climb aboard the D-Train.

Just as we looked at the Flyers goaltending situation a few weeks ago, DGS is now taking a look at the defense corps. This time, we include best case scenario stat predictions for our Defensemen.

As in the Flyers defense, and this is a somewhat serious post as to what we can expect from our Flyers defensemen this year.

Once again, I have to make this perfectly clear: There is a huge DGS thank you to Don't Trade Vinny for his help with a lot of what you're seeing this week. I honestly could not have come up with all this without him.


Defensemen

3 Oskars Bartulis
6' 2" 184
Jan 21, 1987
Ogre, LVA


09-10 regular season stats

PHL: 53GP 1G 8A 9P 28PIMs

Review in a word: Ordinary
In a sentence: Bartulis didn't wow anyone, but for the most part, he also avoided major mess ups as well.

Forecast: he's gonna spell the 6 regulars and be the first guy inserted due to injury.

10-11 Numbers: 20GP 0g 5A 5P 10PIMs but plays solid D when we need him to


25 Matt Carle
6' 0" 205
Sep 25, 1984
Anchorage, AK, USA

09-10 regular season stats
80GP 6G 29A 35P 16PIMs

Review in a word: Suprising
In a sentence: Carle lived up this 3.437 cap hit and proved that he can be a future #2 NHL d-man.

Forecast: Can he repeat with improvements, Pronger and Timonen are both turning 36 this year, which means Carle and Coburn need to step it up and take on bigger minutes.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 10g 35A 45P 20PIMs




5 Braydon Coburn
6' 5" 220
Feb 27, 1985
Shaunavon, SK, CAN

09-10 regular season stats
81GP 5G 14A 19P 54PIMs

Review in a word: Dissappointing
In a sentence: Coburn was horribly inconsistent during the regular season and honestly got way more than he should have on his contract.

Forecast: Like Matt Carle, Braydon Coburn needs to step up if the Flyers have a shot at repeating as Eastern Conference Champions.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 7g 18A 25P 70PIMs

41 Andrej Meszaros
6' 2" 223
Oct 13, 1985
Povazska Bystrica, SVK


09-10 regular season stats (w/ TBL)
81GP 6G 11A 17P 50PIMs

Review in a word: Disaster
In a sentence: He can only go up, right?

Forecast: $4 million for #5 D-man, I swear, he better be good at something before Holmgren convinces Sutter to take Mesz for a first rounder

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 5g 15A 20P 50PIMs


6 Sean O'Donnell
6' 2" 237
Oct 13, 1971
Ottawa, ON, CAN

09-10 regular season stats (W/ LAK)
78GP 3G 12A 15P 70PIMs

Review in a word: Dependable
In a sentence: Solid proven winner with great leadership skills, enough said.

Forecast: Just needs to hold down the fort like he did in 2007 when the Ducks won the cup, I am not asking for much, just to be better than Ryan Parent.

10-11 Numbers: 70GP 2g 8A 10P 80PIMs


20 Chris Pronger
6' 6" 220
Oct 10, 1974
Dryden, ON, CAN


09-10 regular season stats
82GP 10G 45A 55P 79PIMs

Review in a word: Divine
In a sentence: Chris Pronger is awesome, divine and amazing.

Forecast: He turns 36, can he still keep it going.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 7g 33A 40P 90PIMs




44 Kimmo Timonen
5' 10" 194
Mar 18, 1975
Kuopio, FIN

09-10 regular season stats
82GP 6G 33A 39P 50PIMs

Review in a word: Dependable
In a sentence: I love Kimmo, I do, but, at the same time, I'm reminded that Kimmo carries a 6.33 cap hit, then I don't love him so much anymore.

Forecast: He's old, and on the downside, this could be scary, or amazing.

10-11 Numbers: 80GP 5g 25A 30P 40PIMs






8 Matt Walker
6' 4" 215
Apr 7, 1980
Beaverlodge, AB, CAN

09-10 regular season stats (w/ TBL)
66GP 2G 3A 5P 90PIMs

Review in a word: Suck
In a sentence: It's Jimmy Vandermeer version 2.

Forecast: Should spend most of his time in the AHL.

10-11 Numbers: 30GP 0g 0A 0P 70PIMs







Other thoughts:

Meszaros's career numbers are like Coburn's so, I'm hoping that if the 2 of them get their stuff together then, good things will happen, if not, well, then I'm hoping we can pass them off to Calgary for something good.

Holmgren does have a habit of trading horrible defensemen for good things:

Case 1: Zhitnik for Coburn
Case 2: Downie/Eminger for Carle
Case 3: Tollefsen for Leino

Breaking News: Warrant Issued for Arrest of Steve Yzerman

So, for those of you following our good friend Don't Trade Vinny, you know that Bolts GM Steve Yzerman was recently arrested for trying to steal PK Subban from the Habs. It turns out, that Stevie's bad luck continued as after leaving Montreal, he had to fly back to Tampa. During this time, a grand jury was convened in Philadelphia.

See it turns out that Stevie's legal issues are not over. Apparently many people associated with the NHL think that Stevie committed robbery of the Philadelphia Flyers. Turns out, a source let me in on the fact that Stevie IS under investigation. Needless to say, we started digging around as well.

Thanks to a joint investigation by the DGS-SuperSpies and our friends at Don't Trade Vinny, we managed to obtain a copy of the warrant for Stevie's arrest. For you're viewing pleasure, we have it here for you to see. By the way, if you're not reading Don't Trade Vinny, you're really missing out, so start reading his site today.



(use view image to maximize the ability to see it)

Tuesday Morning Coffee Break: August 3

Hey, it's been a long time since I did one of these, but never fear, we have another coffee break for you.

So sit back, grab a coffee, some donuts, and enjoy some great hockey related fun.

• Down Goes Brown delivers a look at other grievances the NHLPA has filed along with the Ilya Kovalchuk grievance. Needless to say, I have one of my own to add, I hereby declare DGB to be the funniest Maple Leafs blogger/writer on the planet. I now have a grievance that he does not post enough.
• Blades of Funny tells us there's nothing to write about, but delivers an amazing post making me wish I had nothing to write about as well.
• Intent to Blow goes on an in depth investigation to tell us just how Sami Salo got hurt this last time around. The results are hilarious and involve Sedin jokes.
• Stay Classy takes a nice look at Down Goes Brown's writing talent and the fact that DGB finally made it big-time. We hope DGB doesn't take up any of the positions for his writing that Stay Classy has told him to go after.
• Don't Trade Vinny gives us the latest in the Stevie Saga with a look at Mr. Yzerman's recent arrest in Montreal. Why do I have an odd feeling this isn't the end of Steve Yzerman's legal trouble? Check back tomorrow to find out why because the DGS-SuperSpies are on the case.

Sunday Brunch: A Discussion of Hilariously Hypothetical Things Related to the NHL, part 1

Ok, so I am trying to star another possible recurring series here, I have my Tuesday morning coffee breaks as we know, but here's another one that's a little more reader interactive, every so often, on a random Sunday, I'm gonna toss out a discussion question related to a scenario that will probably never happen in the NHL, then I'm gonna ask you, the DGS loyal readers, to come up with a witty clever answer to whatever comes out of my mind. Now there's a good chance I'll run out of ideas and this will never get past the top 3 ideas that the DGS staff already has, but hey, once the season starts, I'm fairly certain that this will pick up again.

So here we go.

It's game 7 of the finals, triple overtime, after trade deadline savior Miikka Kiprusoff goes down to injury, Vesa Toskala is forced between the pipes for the Flyers. On the Sharks end, Joe Thornton is awarded a penalty shot. What happens next?