Fan vs Fan

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Sunday Brunch: A Discussion of Hilariously Hypothetical Things Related to the NHL, part 2

Just like last week, we here at DGS would like to invite you to brunch with us. Last week we got a couple of nice chuckles, and now we're looking to do some more of that.

This one is real simple. Once again, loyal DGS-ers give me your thoughts on a 'what would happen if' scenario'

1. What would happen if...Rick DiPietro, Sami Salo and Marion Gaborik walk into a bar together, where the bartenders are Keith Ballard and Chris Pronger?


  1. While Ballard keeps them distracted, Pronger sneaks up from behind and steals their wallets.

    While in the backroom dividing their score, Ballard turns towards Pronger, shoots him in the head and dashes off.

    Having only a few bucks in change between them and unable to afford cab fare, DiPietro, Gaborik and Salo venture off the bus stop...

    DiPietro: this is like a bad joke. the three of us at a bus stop.
    Gaborik: yeah, what could possible go wrong. *laughs*
    Salo: SPLAT! Orgh! Orgh! Orgh!
    Gaborik: what the f*ck is wrong with you?
    Salo: ever since taking one in the you-know-whats, that's how I laugh.
    Gaborik: you're one odd Finn.
    DiPietro: shut up guys, the bus is here.

    The bus pulls up, doors open, wheelchair ramp is lowered.

    *beep* *beep* *beep*

    All three roll onto the bus and arrive safely at their destinations.

    The next morning, while having breakfast, Salo opens up his paper to read the headline: "PRONGER GUNNED DOWN IN BAR"

    "Serves him right for stealing from the handicapped," he says to his very unsatisfied looking wife.

    The End.

  2. Funny situation here. I witnessed this exact scenario a little while ago. Rick DiPietro is known as "the regular who never shows up". Not much info was learned about the other two. People said Sami was stand-offish and defensive. Any comments that came out of Marion's mouth were just offensive. They ordered the house speciality all night, the Drunken Keith. (Due to past concussions, Mr. Ballard has episodes of thinking he was Duncan Keith in a past post season). All went well until closing time, and it was time to pay the tab. All three men's wallets mysteriously disappeared! After video review, it was witnessed that Mr. Pronger took their wallets for safekeeping until the three men were more sober to make financial decisions. Chris was just trying to be a nice guy. The night ended with all five men going to an after hours karaoke sushi bar.

  3. They're going to be wheeling into the bar. All of them tore their ACLs getting out of bed.