Ways Matt Cooke has avoided suspension:
- But Colie, Marc's a "little fake artist" he faked the video; I didn't touch him I swear.
- As I taught Andy Sutton; "you're not an expert"
- Unlike Daniel Carcillo; I have never played for the Flyers.
- Hey MEDIA PEOPLES! LOOK IT'S SIDNEY CROSBY AND HE IS DOING INTERVIEWS!!
- The Chewbacca Defense
- Look, none of my issues are sexual in nature, I'm not Avery or Wisniewski
- Paul Ranger is missing; can you find him?
- Evander Kane took my head off; no one did a damn thing
- But I'm the cookie monster! and I give the cookies to Kyle Wellwood