Fan vs Fan

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Blogging Psychologist: Case Study #2: Alex Burrows

Seriously, my GM is out
to get me. He changes
the uniform every year.
So in today's second installment of my blogging psychologist profiles, we look at Vancouver Canucks Alex Burrows. I know it's been a while since we did our first profile, Chris Pronger, but do check it out if you need to remember how this works.

Anyway, Mr. Burrows has presented with claims of feeling that a Mr. Stephane Auger is out to get him. Now some of these feelings may be based on Mr. Burrows inability to process what's real and what's not. Others may be an overreaction to legitimate concerns. Luckily we here at Down Goes Spezza were able to analyze the data that we were given. Unlike Mr. Pronger who showed traits of many mood and personality issues, Mr. Burrows only displays the traits of one personality disorder. Mr. Burrows appears to suffer from Paranoid Personality Disorder.
Bro, I heard you're good at
defending, well defend me
from Auger, please.

Kesler dude, can you see if
he's out to get me?
Mr. Burrows has had a feeling that many people are out to get him. We all remember his little tiff with NHL referee Stephane Auger for being out to get him. Now Burrows spent a lot time in the penalty box which proves that he was either making an excuse for being a horrible hockey player, or, he was right, Mr. Auger was out to get him. Now, I think we should side with Mr. Burrows as Mr. Auger has made a near infinite amount of some questionable calls.

Wait? Even goalies are out to
get me. FML.
Now of course, Mr. Burrows has shown flashes of talent on the ice. But he also seems to have some other complaints. For one, he keeps talking about the Sedins as if they are one person. He sometimes  attempts to deny the existence of Daniel Sedin.

All in all, I feel like it's safe to say that Mr. Burrows is slightly paranoid in that he feels like the referees are out to get him. But hey, you never really know with these guys, suffice it to say that Mr. Burrows probably has Paranoid Schizophrenia, not Paranoid Personality Disorder. This is because of his hallucinations regarding the lack of existence of one "Daniel Sedin".

Luckily, the prognosis is good for Mr. Burrows. We must talk through his feelings about people like Mr. Auger and maybe have him hang out with both Sedin twins. Hopefully Mr. Burrows will then be able to function on society.

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