Hockey versus Baseball

So my blogging idol, Down Goes Brown, has done comparisons between Soccer and Hockey, Football and Hockey and Basketball and Hockey, but I didn't see any baseball on his list. (God help me if I'm wrong.)

Well, we here at Down Goes Spezza have decided to come up with a comparison between hockey and baseball for the good of helping hockey fans everywhere understand it. The reason for this is most likely you'll be forced to watch the MLB playoffs in October instead of opening night because well, the NHL doesn't have a tv deal with a normal channel yet.



MLB: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Jim Joyce.
NHL: Players have been known to have great performances ruined by the horrible officiating of Kerry Fraser, Stephane Auger, video goal judges in Pittsburgh, Gary Bettman and just about every other official in the game.


MLB: Players who violate rules are suspended according to strict guidelines such as 50 games for a positve PEDs test, and 10 games for using corked bats.
NHL: Players are suspended according to usage of a super secret flowchart. (At what point does Down Goes Brown decide to sue me?).

MLB: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as Triple-A.
NHL: Players who do not perform well for their team can be sent down to a minor league organization known as the Calgary Flames.

MLB: Players have been known to embellish being hit by a pitch in order to get first base. (see Derek Jeter)
NHL: Players have been known to embellish being hit by high sticks or tripped in order to get a 2 minute Powerplay for their team. (see: Dan Carcillo, Max Lapierre, Sidney Crosby, Matt Bradley, Sean Avery).

MLB: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in dirty slides and players throwing at each other.
NHL: Poor sportsmanship usually manifests itself in concussions after a Chris Pronger elbow to the skull.

MLB: Players with major weight issues have been known to throw perfect games.
NHL: Players with major weight issues have been known to become internet memes.


MLB: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of a salary cap.
NHL: Players can sign insanely long contracts with NTCs that keep them in the same city for an entire career without fear of the contract being rejected due to the lack of enforcement of the salary cap. (DGB's urge to sure is rising...if he actually reads my blog).

MLB: Players can score from 2nd base, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly hit ball by a stroke of luck known as a seeing-eye hit.
NHL: Players can score from a the defensive zone, a distance of 180 feet, on a poorly shot puck by shooting against Vesa Toskala. (If DGB hasn't decided to sue me yet, he sure will now)

MLB: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to steroid use and lying about it to the US Congress
NHL: Players have been known to have legal trouble due to dealing with shady Belorussian mobsters.

MLB: Players on bad teams such as the Florida Marlins also have to worry about horribly hot weather as well as hurricanes.
NHL: Players on bad teams such as the Edmonton Oilers still have to spend winters in chilly frozen ICY HELL Edmonton.

MLB: Players have been known to have shards of wood embedded in their chests from broken equipment
NHL: Players have been known to have their throats cut by equipment in perfect working order.

MLB: Big name players like Carl Pavano have been known to sign in New York and never play a game due to injury.
NHL: Big name players like Rick DiPietro have been known to be drafted by New York and never play a game due to injury.


MLB: Teams from Canada haven't won a championship since 1993
NHL: Same (Now, with lawsuits.)