Fan vs Fan

Friday, September 3, 2010

What type of player are you? Part 2

A few days ago, Kevin Burgundy from Stay Classy wrote a post about what kind of hockey player are you. I noticed that his list was incomplete. Needless to say, emails were exchanged and with his consent I decided to do part 2 of the list.

Last time I did this, it turned into a fairly moderate success, I partnered up with Don't Trade Vinny on that one when we did our misused hockey terms. This is what DTV had, and the official DGS reply.

So with the consent of the writer, here I go.

I'll start with what I wrote in the comments section of the original post.

The Jeff Carter: When not scoring on the ice, I score with my winger’s wife off it.

The Ian Laperriere: Block shots to the point where I have no face left.

The Chris Pronger: Use my elbows to leave opposing players looking up at me

The Stay-In The Kitchen Defensemen: A stay home defensemen with agoraphobia.
NHL Comparables: Wade Redden, Andrej Meszaros, every current blueliner on the Dallas Stars

The DJ-Goaltender: A goalie who loves strobe lights and goal horns followed by music.
NHL Comparables: Vesa ToskaLOL, Andrew Raycroft, CristoLOL Huet (Kevin added Pascal LOL-claire)

The True Stay At Home D-man: A defensemen who really stays at home, even when under pressure.NHL Comparables: Sami Salo, Mike Van Ryn, Paul Ranger

Moving on.

The Patient Forward: This guy is known for always being patient. As in a patient at the local hospital waiting for MRIs because he's always hurt.
NHL Examples: Marian Gaborik, Simon Gagne, Doug Weight, Paul Kariya

The Harry Potter: This guy is known for being totally invisible, like Harry Potter when under the Invisibility Cloak. You just never see him do anything even when he's on the ice.
NHL Examples: Lee Stempniak, Joe Thornton and Alex Semin during the post-season,

The Grinder (or hoagie, sub, sandwich): This guy loves his food. Enough said.
NHL Examples: Martin Brodeur, Tim Thomas, Kyle Wellwood

The Rioter: This guy is really talented, but he's somewhat reckless and therefore violence always seem to follow him, especially when he's playing well.
NHL Examples: Steve Downie, Dan Carcillo, every Montreal Canadiens player who caused a riot during the 2010 playoff run.

The Houdini Defensemen: This guy always seems to pull a disappearing act, especially when in the Defensive Zone.
NHL Examples: Mike Green, Tomas Kaberle, Lukas Krajicek, The Boston Bruins after the 1st period of Game 7 against the Flyers

The We Have A Legend Only Not: This guy shares a nickname with an NHL legend, too bad he doesn't play like one.
NHL Examples: Robert Esche, Ryan Parent, The 4th NHL Staal brother: Jarrett Stoll

The Smart Guy: This guy always seems to use his head or the heads of others to help his team out.
NHL Examples: Ian Laperriere, Roman Cechmanek, Goalies playing behind Keith Ballard

The Psycho-analyst: This guy likes to get into the heads of opponents in order to make sure that his team always the psychological advantage. He usually does simple things to amuse the simple minds of his opponents.
NHL Examples: Chris Pronger, Steve Yzerman when proposing trades to Paul Holmgren

There you go, now you know


  1. ya Stevie Y sure ripped off Holms in the Gagne deal ahhh.

  2. You know what makes you a great writer, the fact that even though your team is probably a favorite to win the Stanley Cup this season, you still find clever ways to make fun of them. Keep up the good work.

  3. Excellent! My Dallas Stars defense jokes (read: reality) are spreading to other!

  4. If Jonathan Cheechoo is a Star (has been given pro-tryout with them) and James Neal still isn't resigned come training camp, I will never stop making fun of the Stars! You heard it here first.

    Nice work as always, DGS.