Tales from an Adirondack Nothing: Week 4

Yo Glove -

Just a quick update this week since I only played once. Johan got to start on Wednesday and Saturday - what's up with that? I come down here and can't even capture the starting role in the AHL? I suppose that's because they score goals for Johan, but not for me. So even though he let up seven goals in his two games, he got two wins. Me - stopped 36 of 38 and lost 2-1. Life sucks.

The Phantoms news write up for Friday said "Leighton Dazzles in Dax's Debut" - in a loss? I dazzle in a loss? Sure I was second star of the game, but what is that? It was against my former teammates, too (the Albany River Rats, now the Charlotte Checkers). They know my weaknesses. Too much practice with them. And to think, I bought those guys Panera Bread when their bus flipped over a few years back. This is the thanks I get?

And while we're on the topic of what the hell - the Phantoms new mascot - what fresh hell is that? No really, what is that? I can't even figure it out. That thing better not come anywhere near me. He does, and I'll give him the same treatment I gave Cam Ward.

The only good news of this week - I'm not the most expensive player on the Phantoms anymore. Matt Walker arrived this week. Welcome to hell, buddy.

All-Star break now. No practice during the days surrounding the game. I'm going home to Canada to see my family - wonder if they remember who I am at this point.

Hugs & Tears,

Leights

Boosh's Secret Diary: Entry 3

Dear Diary -

January started out with so much potential, but it's gone downhill so quickly. Opened the month by finally getting rid of Leights, who has been a pain in my ass since he got here in December 2009. No more bitching and moaning from him. Enjoy Glens Falls, buddy. And then there's Bob - couldn't stop a beach ball for a whole month. I stepped in and solidified my role as the go-to guy. I owned the Devils. Life was good.

And then it happened.

Boston - really bad third period. I mean horrible. I lost that game for us. Rangers, I was good in the beginning, but total meltdown at the end, including holy deja vu when I recreated the horror that was the Stanley Cup finals losing goal. I'm starting to think Leights has a voodoo doll of me in Glens Falls. It's a problem. Thankfully, my teammates scored enough to cover my ass. The Devils, the team I normally own, not good there either, and the team came out flat. By the way, Johan Hedberg - you're Johan Hedberg - start playing like it.

And then there was Bob. Guess what - he can stop a beach ball now - and much more. Plus there was that whole article about how he promised Lavy he wouldn't lose for a month back in October. Fans just ate that one up. Everyone is back on the Bob bandwagon. This fan base has goalie-ADD. Sigh. Good thing Lavy doesn't operate that way - I think...

XOXO,

Boosh

Tales from an Adirondack Nothing: Week 3

January 24, 2011

DG -

Friday we played in Philadelphia. First time playing a meaningful game in the Wachovia, um, Wells Fargo Center since that whole thing with the puck and my 5-hole in the finals (wait - glove don't leave, I know it sucked, stand by me would you). Though I suppose meaningful is a stretch when discussing the AHL and you're on the worst team in the league, playing the best team in the league. No matter - the announced crowd was 18,056 and we gave them their money's worth. Stopped 38 of 40 shots - probably should have stopped all 40. It was great to be back and cheered for, especially when we're used to deafening silence now in many AHL arenas. After the game, the guys all came up to hug me; feels nice to be wanted.

Saturday I sat by myself in the designated spot for the back up at Glens Falls. No room on the bench. This sounds familiar. Just as well, they wore these hideous uniforms for some reason. Glad I was hiding mine in the stands.

Sunday. Um, I rather not discuss Sunday. Let's just say I let up five goals and glove, you clearly were asleep on my hand. It was not good.

As an aside, this road trip sucked. Glens Falls to Philly to Glens Falls to Hershey then back to Glens Falls. What genius thought that up?

Okay, it was -22 degree last night and frankly, my fingers are too numb to write anymore - just what I need, numb fingers to go with my numb foot. What fresh hell is this? Actually, it can't be hell - at least hell would be warm.

Hugs & Tears,

Leights

Pierre McGuire's "Monster" Secret

So we all know that Pierre McGuire is a "monster" creeper. But sometimes you "gotta at least ask the question" about why he is the way he is. Anyway, recently the DGS Super Spies uncovered some of Pierre's secrets. Needless to say, we feel bad for the guy because apparently he's just a really misunderstood person.

I am NOT attempting to creep on players

Pierre McGuire's use of the word "Monster" isn't meant to be creepy. See Pierre McGuire has a massive caffeine addiction. When he say's monster, he's actually calling for a Monster Energy Drink.

The Pierre McGuire Hockey Jersey...

So yeah; Pierre is just misunderstood. His loud outbursts are just caused by the "monster" caffeine intake that he has before the game. Don't believe me. Just stop and think for a second. Pierre hit's the bottle before the game, it makes sense..(DEAR GOD LEAF'S FANS, NOT A BOTTLE or keg OF MOLSON!)

(Editor's Note: Dear Down Goes Brown, and all of Leaf's Nation, if you'd like to talk about all this to me, DGS-Cares and we're willing to help. Please feel free to ask)

The Pierre McGuire poison; this is his pre-bed dose

So Pierre McGuire has a drinking problem, with caffeine. It's also obvious that Mike Richards and Dion Phaneuf are his dealers. That's why he's always calling them monsters with big body presence. This is because when Pierre is between the glass.

Pierre's Drinks: Per Period

Luckily for all of us. Caffeine addiction is treatable. With the right care and his willingness to get off the juice and live a normal life. Maybe; just maybe Pierre's voice will drop that of a normal human being. Maybe then Pierre McGuire will be normal.

Chris Pronger's Secret Life

(Editor's Note: This is probably the last Pronger Man Crush type post for a long long time...)

Have you ever wondered what Chris Pronger does in his spare time? Guess what we found out.

Chris Pronger and Pierre McGuire are in a band together. Don't believe me...watch this video







For the record: Chris sometimes gets angry. See him stare a hole into your soul at the 1:20-1:30 mark.

Caption Contest 12

The first one of these for the new year: hope you like

So, have at it guys...what's going on here?

DGS Podcast Episode 2: Jaye Horbay

Woo! Another podcast! This time joining us Jaye from PKLC. We're talking midseason reports and storylines involving the All-Star Game.





Visit Jaye in the following places:

Mile High Sticking

Patrick Kane's Loose Change

His Twitter

Tales from an Adirondack Nothing: Week 2

January 16, 2011

Dearest Glove -

What fresh hell is this? No, seriously. What fresh hell is this? It was -6 degrees on Friday night. On top of that, the boys decided to only show up for the final 20 minutes of the game - again. And I even worked extra hard to make sure no goals went in through the 5-hole (though I did let in 2 - but they really weren't my fault, I swear). Would it kill them to play a little defense now and then? Of course I get that a lot of them are just kids, so that's why I let them all exit the ice first after the loss and gave them all encouraging pats on the back. Kids need encouragement.
But glove, you were totally awesome on Friday, so props to you. You're the reason we were 3rd star of the game.

Saturday I got to start again. (Did I mention the freaking blizzard that came down in Glens Falls on Saturday?) Been a while since I played two games in one week, let alone two nights. I think I was a wee bit slow in the first period. The offense really had a lot of jump; the defense, not so much. I let in three goals - two weren't really my fault, but goal number two, you really failed me glove. Don't know where you were - we should have had that shot easy. No 5-hole again, though that Tangradi guy really did me a favor by not tucking it in my wide open legs when he had a clear shot. I'll have to send him a fruit basket or something. We lost - I know, shocker.

Sunday I got the day off. They finally scored some goals - 5 of them - and won. Go figure they win for Johan.

Next game is at the Wells Fargo Center in Philly. I wonder if I'm starting - cause that won't be weird. Finally starting at home in Philly - as an AHL goalie. One more time - what fresh hell is this?

Okay, time to go lay in bed and stare at the ceiling - I mean really, what else is there to do here?

Hugs & Tears,

Leights

Lost in Translation

Sergei Bobrovsky started the season like a man on a mission. Recently the DGS Superspies uncovered Bob's secret to do list.

From the Crease of Sergei Bobrovksy...

To Do List
1. Dominate training camp (Bob)
2. Force games to shootout (Bob)
3. Shootout not regular part of game (Bob)
4. Start beat Boosh (Bob)
5. Spoil new igloo open house (Bob)
6. Brainwash fans (Bob)
7. Steal car (Bob)
8. Build house (Bob)
9. Get in girlfriend in US
10. Mail shutout
11. Meet Santa (Bob)
12. Exterminate holey goalie (Bob)
13. Take nap (Bob)
14. Terminate old goalie
15. Говорить English

Dropping the Gloves with HockeyBroad

It's on, again. DGS has dropped the gloves with another blogger, this time, it's HockeyBroad (she's not a puck bunny).

We've picked our all-star teams and the results are on, so...here's the rosters and mine come with why I picked them.

See, I didn't pick based on just hockey talent, I picked based on all around talent.


Here are the Roster's


TEAM HOCKEYBROAD (a.k.a. "Team Toews")

Coach: Quenneville/Haviland

Team Captain: Jonathan Toews 
Alternate Captains: Steven Stamkos, Nicklas Lidstrom

Tim Thomas (G)
Alex Ovechkin (LW)
Carey Price (G)
Patrick Sharp (LW)
Daniel Sedin (LW)
Kris Letang (D)
Marc-Andre Fleury (G)
Tobias Enstrom (D)
Dan Boyle (D)
Marc Staal (D)
Martin St Louis (RW)
Erik Karlsson (D)
Loui Eriksson (LW)
Matt Duchene (C)
Eric Staal (C)
Corey Perry  (RW)
Patrick Kane (RW)
Patrik Elias (LW)

Rookie squad:
Logan Couture
Kevin Shattenkirk
Taylor Hall
Derek Stepan
Tyler Seguin
Cam Fowler

TEAM DOWN GOES SPEZZA (a.k.a. "Team Kesler")

Coaches: Vigneault/Laviolette

Team Captain: Ryan Kesler (Had to corner the market on All-Star's who head's have been taken off by Jesse Boulerice)
Alternate Captains: Dustin Byfuglien (Had to corner the market on forwards disguised as defenseman part 1), Sidney Crosby (I support multi-sport athletes, and as we know, Sidney's a soccer-like diver)

Duncan Keith (D) (Drafted for sake asking him what swallowing teeth is like)
Jonas Hiller (G) (He force choked me)
Cam Ward (G) (He's not from a team hate)
Henrik Lundqvist (G) (Hopefully Lavi plays Lundqvist the entire game...)
Henrik Sedin (C) (Had to make sure we could tell these guys apart)
Shea Weber (D) (Hardest slap shot part 1a)
Zdeno Chara (D) (Hardest slap shot part 1)
Claude Giroux (RW) (You don't know this, but I sell grilled cheese sandwiches for a living)
Brent Burns (D) (Had to corner the market on forwards disguised as defenseman part 3)
Mike Green (D) (Had to corner the market on forwards disguised as defenseman part 2)
Anze Kopitar (C) (Slovenia!)
Jarome Iginla (RW) (Needed a preview of playing for the Flyers before the trade in April for Nik Zherdev)
David Backes (RW) (Inglourious Backes is gonna kill the opponents again)
Brad Richards (C) (Also needed to aquaint him with playing for a real team)
Rick Nash (RW) (Well, I have a ton of talented centers so I felt like he needs to know what that's like)
Evgeni Malkin (C) (Had to corner the market on ugly Russians)
Phil Kessel (RW) (Sami Salo wasn't around for my 'players without balls')
Ales Hemsky (RW) (Had to corner the market on 'players who score after Patrik Stefan misses empty nets')

Rookie squad:
Jordan Eberle
Jeff Skinner
Michael Gabner
Tyler Ennis
Oliver Ekman-Larsson
Evgeny Dadonov




I picked Rookies at random...

Mid Season Awards: Who's gonna win what

We're now at the halfway point of the season which means we should probably hand out some sort of midseason awards. Thankfully, we're prepared to do just that.



Most Handsome Man with a Girl's Name: Obviously it's Jody Shelley

Oh ladies, you can't say 'no' tho this lovely smile

Most likely to be a Finnish Rockstar in the offseason: Kimmo Timonen

Yeah, Kimmo's cooler than you, no biggie

Most Likely to Cause an Orgasm with a deke: Claude Giroux

It's the Grilled Cheese, I swear!

Best Use of Sad Puppy Dog Eyes: Michael Leighton

Well, it's time we "waive" goodbye and start anew

The Smile of the Year Award: Draw between Daniel Carcillo and Darroll Powe

It's not like I have teeth to show...

I like Toques, and being wanted to creeping

The Most "Hip" Award: Matt Walker

(Editor's Note: Apparently no pictures of Walker in a Flyers uniform actually exist)


The Big Bird Award for the Biggest Nose: Braydon Coburn

If only I could afford a nose job, alas, I'm not Dan Ellis.

The Most Likely to do ANYTHING for a teammate Award: JvR gets head...from Mike Richards

Mike, uhh, that felt really good...

The Biggest Loser Award: Scott Hartnell.

No, there isn't gonna be a joke about losing his wife to Jeff Carter to here.

Above: Before, Below, After

See, no hair make Hartnell angry

The I Better Get An Award Or Else Award: Chris Pronger

This face scares me, it says "Beware
of Elbow" Chris Pronger is god.

Tales from an Adirondack Nothing

My Dearest Glove...

It's been quite a week, eh? Waived...again. Cleared waivers. Gave emotional interview to the Philadelphia media one last time. Then off to Glens Falls. At least my current pads match the Phantoms uniforms. I suppose that's a positive.

Well, at least I still have you, Glove

Our first game was in Siberia - okay, so Abbotsford, British Columbia is not Siberia, but it took a whole freaking day to get here. Three hours ON A BUS to Montreal. Five hour flight to Vancouver. Then another hour on a bus to Abbotsford. Seriously, I thought I was beyond this nonsense. And did I mention all it does here is rain? I guess that's okay because it hides my ever-flowing tears.

As for the game - the team decided not to join me for the game until the third period, so I was quite busy for the first 40-plus minutes. The Heat's offense was suppose to suck, but apparently I inspired them to attack me all the time. Lucky me. They're so mean too, went right for my five-hole. They know that's my weakness. Evil. Lost in the shootout - I should probably practice those. I just stood there. I forgot I'm supposed to actually challenge the shooters. Oops.

Got to take the second game off and chill on the bench in my tuque. Backlund got the same treatment I got, just in reverse - killed in the third. At one point he went down on his knees for a good five minutes and I thought I'd have to get back on the ice. Then he saw me coming and had a miraculous recovery. Phew.

Getting back on the plane now. Instead of raining, it's snowing. Did I mention this place sucks?

Okay, back to the bag for you, people think it's weird that I'm talking to my glove.

Hugs & Tears,

Leights

Boosh's Secret Diary: Entry #2

January 5, 2011

Dear Diary:

I don't have a lot of time. Since Leights finally got the hell out of town - after making the world cry with him - again - I finally have more time to practice. But I just had to say this - I finally made it. I'm a number one goalie! It's true. This blogger says I am so it must be true! Hooray! How you like them apples, Bob?

Until next time.

XOXO,

Boosh

DGS Podcast Episode 1: Caity Kauffman

ITS HERE! THE PODCAST IS HERE!





Listen here separately


Guest: Caity Kauffman

Find her:

Website: www.CaityKauffman.com
Twitter: www.Twitter.com/CaityKauffman

Quick facts:

She's a reporter for FGCU sports
She's covered the Florida Jr Everblades and does their PR.

Quick outline:
ECHL life
We talked Winter Classic both 2011 and 2012 (Article we referenced)
Junior Hockey in Florida (this involved us feeling old)
Some Hockey Trivia

DGS Podcast Contest:

Email me the correct answer to the question for a prize.
DownGoesSpezza@Gmail.com

The prize is a Bauer 4500 White Hockey helmet (size small).


Question: DGS says one untrue fact about himself during the podcast, what is it?

Michael Leighton: King of Pain

(Parody of King of Pain by The Police written by PhillyGirl)

There’s a little sore spot on my groin today
Wish I’d gotten it fixed yesterday
Andy is keeping me third from the top
A trade to the Sabres the Hawks won’t stop

I have stood here before behind the scoring Kane
Waiver wire turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping a team’ll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There’s an open spot on the Ducks today
(That`s a goal down there)
But got sent to Portland anyway
(That’s a goal down there)
There’s a call been made to come back to the top
(That’s a goal down there)
But a claim by Nashville that just won’t stop
(That’s a goal down there)

I have stood here before behind the scoring Kane
Waiver wire turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping a team’ll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

20 minutes later it’s back to the goalie mall
(That’s a goal down there)
Claimed by a Flyers team in a massive free fall
(That’s a goal down there)
Back to the wire when Biron stops the ebb
(That’s a goal down there)
A locker with my name in Montreal’s web
(That’s a goal down there)

I have stood here before behind the scoring Kane
Waiver wire turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping a team’ll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There’s a trade to the Canes cause the Habs want out
Few more years then back to the wire without a doubt
There’s a Flyers team that’s looking mighty dead
Going to try to keep them from seeing red

Fear of Kane

There’s an ankle in need of an ice pack
Despite a goal by Kane they want me back

There's a little sore spot on my back today
Heading back to the Phantoms one way

I have stood here before behind the scoring Kane
Waiver wire turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping a team’ll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

Fear of Kane
I'll always be king of pain
I'll always be king of pain

Boosh's Secret Diary

(Editor's Note: Under the direction of PhillyGirl the DGS-SuperSpies managed to grab a hold of Brian Boucher's diary during the recent road trip...airport security just ain't that good)

January 3, 2011

Dear Diary –

Happy New Year! Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 34 years old – can you believe it? Seems like just yesterday I was carrying the Flyers in the 2000 playoffs and stabbing Bill Barber in the back after we had an epic collapse.

Lavvy gave me the start for my birthday against Detroit. Last time we won in Detroit, I was 14 years old. Amazing. So did we break that streak yesterday? You bet we did. Detroit was all over us in the first, but I held my ground and the team actually felt like scoring me some goals. I’ve got to find a way to keep this hot streak going because I think I nabbed the starting role from the Russian kid, finally. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to be “mentor” to this kid? He doesn’t understand a word I say. He just says “Bob.”

Steals my dance moves too!

Speaking of nabbing the role – this whole three goalies thing was not working out. There’s not enough room at practice – the media is freaking out over Bob and his lost confidence and Leights is crying in the corner at practice because he can’t have a net. How am I supposed to concentrate? The good news is I think my chances of staying the number one are pretty good since Bob can’t stop a beach ball lately and Homer just gave Leights a one-way ticket to Adirondack (don't cry Leights, I hear the weather there is beautiful this time of year). Plus, I made it in and out of Vancouver without Ryan Parent coming anywhere near me.

Next up: back-to-back games with the Devils. I own them. Life is good.

Until next time.

XOXO,

Boosh