(Editor's Note: Amy absolves herself from this, it's just wow, I can't think of anything clever, but I think DGS has gone nuts, for real this time.)
So, here's a look at the many faces of Chris Pronger.
(Editor's Note: I really really hope this isn't as bad as it sounds)
(Author's Note: All pics are taken from outside websites, clicking on the link takes you to the websites that own them, I did NOT take any of the Pronger pictures.)
|Epic Pronger is Epic|
Epic Pronger: This is Chris Pronger's normal state. It is also known as the state of Awesome. This is because Chris Pronger is more awesome than you could ever dream to be. He didn't mean for it to happen, it just kinda did. You know?
|Chris Pronger was just reminded of his awesomeness|
Realization: This is the face of Chris Pronger whenever someone reminds him of the fact that he is better than you. He doesn't mean to gloat, but when you're on the level of Chris Pronger, it's unreasonable to not feel superior to all the other people you need to deal with on a daily basis.
|Chris Pronger is mildly content, a rare sighting. (Note: he's most likely |
thinking "I can't wait to elbow Sidney Crosby")
Mildly Content: Chris Pronger feels mildly content on occasion. In this case, it's because he elbowed Paul Holmgren into giving him a 7 year 35+ contract with a 4.921 cap hit. Chris Pronger get's a pass though, because he's not a douche or anything, he's just Chris Pronger.
|Chris Pronger is sorry, he can't hear you over the sound of|
how awesome he is.
Apologetic Pronger: Look, I know you reporters want to interview him, but Chris Pronger's ability to hear questions is sometimes obstructed by the fact that his own awesomeness speaks to him. He's sorry, well not really.
|Confusion: Someone just said, 'Chris, you aren't god.' without saying|
Confusion: Chris gets confused when people try to tell that he's not awesome. This is because he doesn't understand why anyone would tell a joke to a 6'6" 230lb guy with elbows that crack skulls frequently. Quite honestly, I don't get it either.
|Hey Todd, wipe that smirk off your face before my elbows permanently|
remove your face from the rest of your body.
(Editor's Note: Concussions are actually serious business, please get checked if you or someone you know shows symptoms of a concussion. DGS-Cares)
|Why yes, I did take those pucks, but we're just gonna act natural.|
|I choose you, to be the victim of my next elbow.|
Chris Pronger is an honourable, upstanding, player. He's nice enough, as shown by the above picture, to point out who the next victim of an elbow is going to be. When he does this, players should thank Mr. Pronger for being nice enough to allow them to prepare for
|Hockey time, the time for awesome.|
|Dear Scott Gomez, the only reason you're not dead right now is|
because killing people like you is well, a hate crime. I
am so just gonna embarrass you in the
playoffs instead, Love Pronger.
|If you can see Chris Pronger, Chris Pronger can see you,|
if you can't see Chris Pronger...
|Then it's probably because Chris Pronger is about to set you|
up for something called a "Batista Bomb"
|I am fairly sure that I am the 'he'|
|Why Yes, Chris Pronger is full of win|
|Kostitsyn: I'll send my mob friends after you.|
Pronger: I elbowed them, they're all dead. They fear my elbows.
|Chris let him go, wait that's Avery. Chris, pull his head off.|
|Angry Pronger, do not go near or elbows shall fly|
|Calm Pronger; it's how he relaxes.|
And then when all is said and done:
|King Pronger: Lord of the Elbow|