Fan vs Fan

Friday, June 18, 2010

The Curious Case of Ilya Kovalchuk

Editor's Note: This post is written by Amy, NOT DGS.

Ilya Kovalchuk, where will he end up. Well, the DGS SuperSpies have tried to find out, and they have some interesting ideas, as well as what this means for Flyers fans. So with the help of me, the Amazing Amy, DGS made a list of 10 possible destinations and what Flyers fans should think of them.

Team: NJ Devils
Odds: 4:1
Reasons to Go: Will be backed by a Hall of Fame caliber goalie and a great Defensive system
Reasons to Not Go: The Devils aren't exactly known for opening the bank for offensive talents
Meaning to Flyers: If he's in NJ, we're fucked.

Team: Toronto Maple Leafs
Odds: 10:1
Reasons to Go: Kovy and Kessel on the top 2 lines, it's bound to work, right?
Reasons to Not Go: Does Toronto have a D that can allow Kovy a chance to win
Meaning to Flyers: Only facing Kovy 4 times a year instead of 6 is a bonus, but I'd fear Kovy in the playoffs

Team: Boston Bruins
Odds: 500:1
Reasons to Go: Kovy/Hall/Savard top line, that's amazing
Reasons to Not Go: Will be traded to Toronto for a decade's worth of first rounders and Luke Schenn
Meaning to Flyers: Kovy in Boston=Bruins as favourites for the Cup in 2011

Team: Washington Capitals
Odds: 25:1
Reasons to Go: An all Russian top line of Ovy-Semin-Kovy sounds nice
Reasons to Not Go: Mike Green would then be the Caps top D-man causing every game to be decided by a score of 9-8
Meaning to Flyers: Really isn't one until the playoffs roll around...

Team: Edmonton Oilers
Odds: 100,000:1
Reasons to Go: I heard Edmonton feels like Russia in winter.
Reasons to Not Go: I heard Edmonton feels like Russia in winter
Meaning to Flyers: It's second best option.

Team: San Jose Sharks
Odds: 85:1
Reasons to Go: "Thornton to Kovalchuk...SHARKS SCORE" would guarantee another San Jose President's Trophy
Reasons to Not Go: Cap issues, lack of playoff success, risk of having to get a ride with Dany Heatley all come to mind
Meaning to Flyers: Again, it's nice to have Kovy out of the east...but I sure wouldn't mind having Kovy on another continent.

Team: Montreal Canadiens
Odds: 100:1
Reasons to Go: A skilled sniper would give the Habs a legit scoring threat
Reasons to Not Go: Other Habs players may be afraid of a giant 6'2" 230lb Russian
Meaning to Flyers: When Habs fans riot after wins against Toronto, the Flyers may have to give up their reputation as the "most brutish fans in hockey, or sport for that matter"

Team: Chicago Black Hawks
Odds: 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000:1
Reasons to Go: After the Hawks implode this team in order to gain cap space, they could restock with Kovy-Toews-Kane as their top line
Reasons to Not Go: Kovy would then need to work for free.
Meaning to Flyers: Hey, at least it keeps him OUT of the Eastern Conference...

Team: Philadelphia Flyers
Odds: 150,000:1
Reasons to Go: Great chance to win a cup
Reasons to Not Go: Flyers already have 8 top-6 caliber forwards
Meaning to Flyers: He becomes our weapon on offense, at the expense of having a goalie next year, seriously, Kovy=Boucher/Backlund in net

Team: Anyone in the KHL
Odds: 3:1
Reasons to Go: $14 million and a chance to be close to home why NOT take it.
Reasons to Not Go: I heard it's cold in Russia...

Hope you guys like it.


1 comment:

  1. Nice work Amy, I think you should stay on with DGS full time.