Fan vs Fan

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The 10 Pronger Commandments

As many of you know, I subscribe to the Religion of Christopher Robert Pronger, or for short, Pronger Orthodox. Needless to say, I feel compelled to share the 10 Commandments of Pronger for his imminent return and therefore, the impending doom of the Buffalo Slugs Sabres.

  1. Chris is the Lord of the Elbows, you shall not have other elbows besides Chris.
  2. Thou shalt only answer media with vain comments.
  3. Remember to keep holy thy Pronger shift. (And make sure holey goalies, like Leighton are hidden)
  4. Honor thy Pronger, and his Elbows
  5. Thou shalt not kill with thy elbows, we're not Matt Cooke here
  6. Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless of course you're doing it to get a trade out of Edmonton
  7. Thou shalt steal the puck. During, or after the game is acceptable.
  8. Thou shalt not bear false elbows against thy neighbor, sometimes though, Crosschecks work too.
  9. Thou shalt not covet thy opposing center, rather elbow him instead.
  10. Thou shalt not covet thy opposing goalie, rather fight him instead.

Now you know

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