-Western Conference First Round-
#8 Chicago defeats #1 Vancouver in 6 games- Obviously because even an electronic version of Roberto Luongo fears Chelsea Dagger.
#2 San Jose defeats #7 Los Angeles in 7 games- I guess, this is actually fairly accurate. I can see it happening. Also, in the game, after losing game 1 4-1 and going down 5-0 at the end of period 1 in game 2, Antti Niemi gave way to Antero Niittymaki who would win the series and hold onto the starting role.
#6 Phoenix defeats #3 Detroit in 4 games- Apparently the snakes scared the Red Wing into deciding that maybe they should retire south for the summer.
#5 Nashville defeats #4 Anaheim in 4 games- Well the only explanation here (and proved by the 7 goals he had) is that Dan Ellis was afraid to stop Shea Weber's slapshot. (Honestly, I don't blame him).
-Eastern Conference First Round-
#8 New York Rangers defeat #1 Washington in 6 games- In related news, water's still wet, Hell's still hot, Pronger's still snarky, and the Caps can't win playoff series against anyone.
#2 Philadelphia defeats #7 Buffalo in 6 games- I kept Chris Pronger out for this series, the Flyers still won as in 6 games Danny Briere had 10 points (2G-8A) and Mike Richards had 12 points (6G, 6A) and Jeff Carter had 9 goals. No, we don't know how many times Jeff Carter scored on Lisa Hartnell, the game doesn't track that.
#6 Montreal defeats #3 Boston in 4 games- Obviously because the Montreal police arrested the entire Bruins roster before the game, also, during Game 1, Tim Thomas suffered a "broken elbow" and was out 6-8 weeks forcing Tuukka Rask into net. Take that as you will. Also of note, Boston only scored 3 goals the entire season. Greg Campbell was a -6 (worst on the team) and Montreal won every game by 1 goal with Price tossing 2 SOs.
#4 Pittsburgh defeated #5 Tampa in 6 games- Even without Matt Cooke's head shots, the Lightning beat themselves because well, they failed to scout the ECHL scrubs who have been called up by Pittsburgh this season.
-Western Conference Second Round-
#2 San Jose defeats #8 Chicago in 4 games- Chicago, having completed their divine mission, rolls over to San Jose because the Sharks apparently don't choke in May in the video game realm.
#5 Nashville defeats #6 Phoenix in 6 games- another low scoring series, another series where Shea Weber scores a lot. 4 more goals in 6 games for him. Weber's now my Conn Smythe favourite at this point with 11G and 5A in 10 games.
-Eastern Conference Second Round-
#2 Philadelphia defeats #8 New York Rangers in 7 games- King Henrik records 2 Shutouts, which is 2 more than the entire Philadelphia team from October-present. Bobrovsky however never gives up more than 2 goals per game. Also, Marion Gaborik is injured with a "broken jaw" in game 1, causing him miss games 2-7...DAMMIT PRONGER!
#6 Montreal defeats #4 Pittsburgh in 4 games- Obviously the Habs are in Marc Andre Fleury's head. Or on them, or something. Also this series featured both PK Subban and Matt Cooke each racking up 60+ PIMs in this series alone. Hopefully, this happens in real life
West: San Jose defeats Nashville in 7 games- Shea Weber loses his power, apparently Jumbo Joe is now the "cool guy" on the block. I know, hard to believe
East: Philadelphia defeats Montreal in 4 games- Montreal implodes, the team AND the city.
The Philadelphia Flyers defeat the San Jose Sharks in 7 games with breakdowns as follows:
- SJS 3 @ PHL 4 in 2OTs: Jeff Carter scores in OT unassisted to win it.
- SJS 5 @ PHL 1: Joe Thornton nets a hat-trick, it's bizarro world...
- PHL 2 @ SJS 3: Thornton nets a GWG in the third period, oddness continues.
- PHL 0 @ SJS 1: Joe Pavelski from Thornton-Marleau on the PP sinks the Flyers, Niity posts a 33 save shutout. Nitty Finals shutouts 1, Flyers Shutouts dating back 1 calendar year-0
- SJS 2 @ PHL 9: Jeff Carter, Scott Hartnell and Chris Pronger each have hat tricks to pace the Flyers easily.
- PHL 3 @ SJS 1: Joe Thornton ruins the shutout at 18:55 of Period 3, DAMMIT! But Meszaros has 3 helpers to keep the Flyers going.
- SJS 4 @ PHL 5: The FLYERS WIN THE STANLEY CUP! Shutout Free!!
Conn Smythe Winner: Jeff Carter: 16 G 14 A in 24 games...clutch